Something New
by RendingRenegade
Summary: As the red wave washes over the galaxy, it marks the start of a new age. With it, any chance of old ways go away into the tomes of history. It is a new world. And where will the love of Rioul Shepard and Tali'Zorah Vas Normandy fit into this world? Will they be able to adapt or will the remain relics of time gone by? Or will galaxy be able to rebuild after such a war. Who knows?
1. Chapter 1

Battle of Earth, London.

He loved the smell of smoke, explosives, ozone and blood or the in other words, the smell of battle, gunfire, war cries and explosions being his favorite sounds. The feel of rubble and corpse being smothered under his feet made him lust to add another corpse. His blood quivered with anxiety for his next challenger to arrive. All seemed to be slowed as he waited for something to kill. Yet he could not help but marvel at the sight before him.

Krogan beating and shooting away at Reaper abominations, the glorious melee that followed as husks and their like were swept away by the raw strength of the krogan. Heads exploding into red mist from sniper fire, the salarians might be cowards, but they're good snipers. Then rumble of explosion fired by the Alliance armored company just made this heaven for Grunt.

He took one bold step off the heap of cannibal corpse he was standing on, as if he had discovered new land to conquer, a very pleasing concept to Grunt. He basked in magnificent of his warriors. His warriors, he could not be more proud of Aralakh Company. He had dreamt of a battle like this for so long and to finally have it happen. For Grunt, it was utter ecstasy.

He saw his next opponent, six husks, a major disappointment compared to what else he had fought today. He charged in, enjoying the scent of battle blowing across his face. He fired at closet one with his eviscerator, leaving a hole in its chest where grayish slime began to leak and flexible tubes now hanged.

He swung his arm out, hitting two husks like a oversized club, sending them flying into the air, to only have their skulls crush on landing. Their disgusting muck of what use to be a brain painting a fresh coat of gore onto the ruins. What this building once was now impossible to tell, as the roof and most of the walls were gone. And it was blanketed with piece of remains of what usef to be living creatures. Now they were made into abominations by the Reapers.

He did same with two more husks, sweeping them away like how a child tosses his toys when he is no longer interested. Leaving the last one alone, still charging at him as it could not consider the foolishness of its action any more, just a puppet to the Reapers. Grunt head butted this one, causing it to slam it the ground in front of him, snapping its back with a satisfying pop. However this was only momentaneous satisfaction as his blood was already asking for more, and he would never consider denying it.

He looked for new enemies. The closest he saw were two marauders who were doing a poor job of hitting the rampaging krogan in front of them. However they had their backs to him and to kill them this way would be too easy, so he shot in between them to get their attention, which it most certainly did. They peppered his armor with their rapid fire, but this only led to Grunt chuckling as he heard the sound of shots being deflected by his armor. He almost pitied them, almost.

He began running at them, spending a shot at point blank at ones face. Leaving nothing but empty space as the shotgun left nothing of its head. He smashed into the other one like a full speeding mako, causing it to slam into the wall behind it, giving the wall what Grunt would consider a beautiful coat of blue blood on the wall behind it.

He now reached for heat sinks on his belt, but to only find there were now more heat sinks. He was out of ammo. He felt inconvenience as something as simple as ammo stepped on his parade. He brought more ammo then he ever carried before for this battle and he saw it as a testament to his might to have killed so many things to use up all his ammo.

He grabbed for the phaeston the marauder he just killed was carrying. He tested in on some unlucky cannibal who was just the closest thing for Grunt to unload a clip into. By doing so, littering it with holes as its flesh and armor collapsed at the repeated beating it was receiving from over eager Krogan wanting to test a new toy. It was nothing to his assault rifle he brought into this battle, but that gun was currently logged deep into the back side of a brute, so it was unavailable.

He then felt something trying to scrabble unto his hump, like a small child. Yet this must have had greater claws as it made the sound of chalk on black board trying to scratch his armor. He reached behind him to see what the pest was. A puny husk had apparently jumped on his back but did not know what do beside scratch, making a terrible nuisance for Grunt. He threw on to ground hard enough to kill, as horrible crack of bones braking indicated. However Grunt did not stop there. He raised his foot and slammed it down as hard he could on poor the creature's skull, with only a fine paste and broken bone being the only evidence there was ever a head there.

Then a sound caught his attention over the cacophony of war. Gunshots, but not ordinary guns, ravager guns, he could recognize their distinctive sound from anywhere and sent a chill of excitement through him. A chance to face the old enemy was impossible to resist. He saw them, three on top of a large pile of rubble. It was a quite a distance away, but that only meant to Grunt he had to start running now. He cast aside enemies and sent them flying as he charged towards the ravagers, their attention on the other krogan below. It made impact easier as he hit the side of the one on the right. He grabbed its gun and twisted around the front of it, snapping it off with the sound tearing flesh and metal. He continued with his spin, now using its momentum to add force to the end of the ravager's gun he was wielding like a club. He curved it to hit under side of the second ravager, popping bloated pustule and ramming it back from the inside. He kicked that one aside, knocking over the recently made corpse. The last one tried to turn to meet the new found threat, but was too late as it just ran itself into the thick skull of a rampaging krogan. Grunt's head butt all but rendering the ravager helpless, as it skull was crushed, like so many others today.

He stood on top of his recently conquered hill, letting the acid of the ravager's blood burn his armored feet. It gave a view of the battle of krogan and Reaper abomination that would leave most flabbergasted. However Grunt only smile as he saw Krogan rip limbs of the abominations and reduce them into nothing more than a nuance. He could not help but feel joy at the scene before him.

Then suddenly he felt tugged away as something slammed into him. Air was rushing across his face much faster than it should. His feet were not touching the ground and a great pressure could be felt around his abdomen. He looked to down to see what could be causing this to find a giant claw around him. And attached to that claw was one of those mockeries of krogans that the Reapers made. He tried to wrestle out but could not. He tried to reach for his gun and found nothing. He saw where the brute's destination was and realized the urgency of his situation. He was headed for a solid concrete wall that would be thick enough not to crash through. It was going to smash him into the wall in the hopes of killing him. This could not happen. He struggled to find a way out, but all seemed for not. He could head butt him for he was too far. There was nothing to grab on it to cause it pain. It seemed this was the courier of his death and a wall his death. This could not be, this was not a proud death of warrior. Helpless in the arms of your enemy, waiting for death, he could not comprehend this.

Then suddenly something was coming this way. It was big and red, like a great tidal wave. What was this wave and what it do to them he wondered. And as it swept of over him he found himself in mid air as he thrown into the air, as his focus for all his hate in last couple of second was reduce to dust. He hit the ground and rolled for a bit. He finally stop once coming in contact of what must have been vending machine, as cold liquids started pouring over him. He then looked up to find once great tower of metal and destruction fall. He felt pride now for his battle master.

* * *

It had all gone to hell or at least that's what Jacob Taylor thought. The left flank had fallen, leaving Shepard the brunt of giant wave of Reaper creatures. That is if he wasn't dead already. He seen it from the distance. Harbinger came down like a mad god and started blasting. He couldn't see what he was shooting at, but it was hard for him to imagine anything surviving such a creature's wrath. Although if anyone could survive it, it would be Shepard and just by judging him by his time with him, it seem like nothing could stop him.

He just hoped Shepard could pull it off because things were bad over here. Although a lot of the big abomination moved over towards Shepard's position, that didn't mean his location was not covered in husks. And all the forces here were dead too. It was just him, a squad of Alliance marines holding out in a pub, and some vanguard he hadn't seen for awhile. He guessed he finally died too.

He was currently at the edge of a rather deep crater made by one of those phalanx missiles going off when the Reaper guarding the beam shot it. He looked down at the little pub the marines were holed up in to see dozens of husks charging at it. Limbs flying as shots were sprayed into the mass of what once been people. From his experiences he knew they wouldn't last if some heat didn't come off them.

He jumped out of the crater and starting charging at the blob of claws and flesh machine combinations, ignoring the pain from the shot in his shoulder as he went. He checked his belt to find what he was looking for. "Last one left" he mumbled to no one in particular.

He pull the pin and threw the lift grenade as hard he could into the largest group of husk he could find. With a boom, two dozen or more husk were lifted up into the air as if they were dust. Then they fell, making splat sound as wet gore made contact with the ground. He smiled at his work.

As he turned his head to right to see if more husks were coming, he saw something worse. Five marauders came strolling in unopposed, taking position in a leveled building, nothing more than concrete and rebar rubble.

He quickly came to the conclusion if they were allowed to take position; the marines would be done for. The marauders could launch surprising fire, keeping the marines pin and allowing the husk to creep up for the kill. He had seen enough death today and wanted not more. He had to stop those marauders. What were the chances that those men had love ones waiting for them, maybe even children and spouses eagerly waiting for their arrival. Not one more family will be ruined on his watch.

He whipped out his pistol and put two shots in one of the marauder's head, collapsing its shield. He quickly threw a biotic pull while ducking for cover, the turret of a mako being the nearest thing. This drew the attention of the marauders and they start firing at ruin piece of tank, creating pinging sounds as metal met metal. He quickly looked up to see the marauder who shields he broke floating in the air harmlessly. He quickly ended it with a few shots.

He stood up from his cover to place a few more shots with his pistol, when he heard a disturbing sound that every solider feared, the clicking of no ammo. His barriers flared with incoming shots and he quickly took cover again. He pulled out his shotgun and made a plan that could only be called foolish at best.

He charged into them, hoping his barrier would hold. It was only a few meters, but it only took one bullet to knock him out. His barriers flash at constant stream of bullets. He tried to reform it with all his concentration, but it was fading. However he could see he was almost there. Then it finally broke, but it was too late for the closest marauder as Jacob put the barrel of his shotgun through its shield fired within the shield, creating a vast hole in it's abdomen. It crumbled to it's knees and then face first into the ground.

The next one tried to smack him with the butt of its gun, but he was a little quicker. He raised his foot and brought it down on its knee, giving Jacob a reassuring crack of bone snapping. It buckled forward, about to fall head first when Jacob grabbed its arm with his new found momentum, he spin it around him and finally throwing it at its nearest comrade, both crumbling in pile of limbs. He fired shots from his shotgun at them until he was satisfied that they were dead.

He turned to meet the final one, to only find gun moments from his face and this time he did not have time to react. So he just looked into the glowing eyes of what might have been a proud turian once. However this stare did not last long as the things head then evaporated into red mist and the sound of a sniper shot. He turned to see where it came from and saw one of the marines holding a sniper in one hand and giving him a thumbs up in the other. The thumbs turned into pointing as the marine yelled out "banshee".

Although that was not enough for Jacob as felt something slash across his back. He fell to his knees and as he fell face first into the dirt, something strange happened. He saw a red wave in the distance and next thing he knew it washed over him.

He could not feel his legs and he could feel a warm torrent go down his back. "Is this it, am I going to die here" he asked himself. He answered back no. He could not die here. He had to return to Bryn and his child. He would not abandon them now, not ever. He had to do better than his own father. He would not  
leave his child alone with all the blights in the world. His last thought before unconsciousness was him holding a new born baby in his arm.

* * *

"Rally to me students, let's drive these bastards back" Jack hated everything that wasn't one of her students right now. The marines they were sent with turned out to be all a bunch of pussies and were either running for their lives or dead. The only _allies,_ which were of use to her, were some vorcha she saw running around from time to time. However they could only serve distraction at best, worst they lure enemy to them because of drawing attention too close.

And now her students were dying. She was seeing them fall around her. It started out all right. They were tearing the monsters apart and with such enthusiasm that it made her heart swoon with pride. Then Jezebel's head was blown apart and then Tommy got smashed by one of the big ugly ones that look like a krogan. They were being swatted like flies around her and no matter how much she tried, they were dying.

One by one her students came running towards her, entering the little ruined coffee shop she was now holding up in. She did a head count as quick she could so she could enter the fight and hopefully have to monster shot at something that could handle them.

When she was done she could only count eight students. "How could this of happen?" she wondered. She had over two dozen students before hand and now only eight. However an answer did jump into her mind, and more specifically a name.

"Shepard" she growled. If it were not for his suggestion, they would be helping setting up barriers and providing support rather be in the front lines of things. Like she originally thought and now that she listened to his suggestion her students were dying. She should have listened to her instincts.

Now the only thing she had or even cared for was dissolving in front of her. What else did she have beside these students? She had no family, nowhere else to go. She would just end up in the same place Shepard had found her most likely. Her students accept her and she had felt comfortable around them and a need to protect them. "Damn, why this had to be so complicated?" she asked herself, not really sure what these feeling were. Although she knew one thing, this feeling felt right and she had to protect her students.

She launch a biotic pull that pulled two of those batarians things and as soon as she did, a student named Vlad threw a biotix throw to send them flying. She loved it, how they all worked together as one giant wrecking ball. It only amplified that warm feeling she got whenever she killed something.

It was also nice to see Vlad working so well in the team now. He proved to be the hardest for her to reach out to. He came from some aristocratic family in Russia and was stubborn, arrogant and selfish. She considered killing him on several occasions, but she later found a weak spot. He was actually very ashamed of his biotic powers because his family didn't approve and disowned him. After a very extensive _talk, _he came around to see his power as blessing and she turned him in quite a deviant to his old self, something she was proud of.

"Hey look, it's Rodriguez" out of the rubble and smoke Rodriguez came running like a bat out of hell. She was covered in blood and unarmed. It also appeared she was holding on to her side like she was wounded and a limp became noticeable too.

Then what was chasing after her made itself know from the smoke. A great brute came charging at an even greater pace. And as if time slowed down, it picked up Rodriguez with it's great claw and slammed her down to the ground and let go. It was done and it took little notice before moving it attention to crowd of biotics hiding in the coffee shop.

Jack felt her blood boil with rage at the site and with battle cry that would terrify even a banshee, she charged beast. The beast unaware of the increasing blue glow around the anorexic looking woman, it charged her as well. A rage equal to when she originally broke out of prison was building within her; she couldn't stand these deaths of those she cared about, the first people she ever cared about. And just before they met for furious destruction, Jack slide under the beast and with a perfect view of it's armored belly. Yet armor did not matter as the biotic potential now riveting in the young woman's fist became truly remarkable. As fist met armor, a boom rivaling that of artillery shells going off was released. The brute was sent flying into the distance, only to be utterly destroyed in it's landing a few blocks away.

With the brute of the way, Jack took her side beside her dying student, not wishing to accept reality. She set up a barrier around them, muting the sound of screaming, gunfire and explosions around them.

If Vlad was her hardest student, than Rodriguez was her easiest. Originally she hated her for her upbeat attitude and gift for biotics. She was just such a goody two shoes it disgusted her. She teased her out of spite, but yet she would always bounce back with something clever. And she was the first to show trust in her and truly listen to her advice. To say the least, she had warmed up to Rodriguez and to say she was one of her favorite students would not have been too far from the truth.

She cursed Shepard's name for toying with her emotions, for making her confused, for working with Cerberus and now for getting her students kill as a red wave washed over her.

* * *

He had to admit this was the absolutely the most brutal fight he had ever been in. It was even worse when he had to break out off that batarian prison. He went into this with bunch of tanks and apparently green ass marines, but now only he stood before countless hoards of husks, marauders and cannibals. It seemed like all the Reapers were doing everything but sending themselves to kill him. He would have felt a little honored to be held at such regard that they had to send so much to kill him, but he was too tired for that right now.

At least he had Jessie with him. He really hoped that salarian was still alive so he could thank him more properly, and it was always funny to see salarians drunk. Intoxicating salarians would have to wait though as currently a bunch of abomination with only his death on their minds were chasing him.

Zaeed climbed a flight of stone steps in what appeared to be a plaza. The marble used its construction would have been quite impressive if it was not covered in blood, ash and bullet holes. There was a large slab of black stone, taller than a person and seemed to have the names of people on it. If he had to guess it was some sort if memorial, but right now it look like a damn good piece of cover.

As he took cover behind it, a chorus of bullets hitting marbled, announcing danger was a foot. He heard feet clawing their way up the steps and Zaeed had not illusions on to who it would be. He fired some pot shots in the direction he just came from and went back behind the memorial. He was assured destruction followed by the sounds of flesh ripping and being eviscerated as devastation was brought to the body. But he heard a set of feet to close to his position. He took aim for where his opponents head was going to be with the butt of Jessie and swung. He was correct as Jessie's butt slammed straight into the lower jaw of husk, crushing its head against the butt of the gun and the side of the memorial. Zaeed quickly took cover again.

He had always figured he go out in much more spectacular way then this. It didn't look there was much hope for him as it just seemed more kept coming. Gunned down in the streets of London was not how he figured he would go. He had thought about buying a ship and loading it with explosives and driving it to Omega as a way to go out, this seemed meager by comparison.

He peeked out and quickly aimed at one of those batarian things. He fired four shots, but did not get to enjoy view of armor be ripped of its face followed by the last two bullets reducing its face to something similar to poor shelters cafeteria food.

He didn't want get bunkered down where he was because it meant someone was more likely to flank him. He saw a waist high marble wall and made a sprint for it. However it his haste he didn't see the spot was occupied. A cannibal got up in front of him and released a torrent of bullets that broke his shield and grazed his left arm, rending the armor there and causing a trickle of blood to flow. Zaeed made it pay in blood for the transgression by firing Jessie at it until she over heated, reducing the cannibal to nothing of its mutated form.

He hoped over the wall and took position there only to find of some poor marine body there. Zaeed decided this was a perfect time to resupply and found some unused frag grenades and a mantis sniper with half a clip. He had lost his own sniper when it cracked in half when he used it like club on some Reaper turian things head. He also wasn't a fan of frag grenades himself, but he was lacking in his preferred inferno grenades.

However he heard behind him more shuffling of feet. Forty blue shiny eyes returned his gaze as two dozen husks were now charging towards him, mere seconds from impact. And to further cement his approaching doom, a hurricane of bullets started hitting his cover. From the sound of the guns firing, he estimated over a dozen individuals shooting at him. He made his plan of action in moments.

He threw three frag grenades he just recovered at the location for which the gun fire was coming from. The sound of the grenade's detonation signaled to him to move; he had spotted what looked like local business, maybe a restaurant, for which he could run to and get some breathing room.

He started to run, ignoring the burning of lactic acid in his legs from all the running he had done today. Just as he reached the door to the building he turned around and fired Jessie relentlessly at the husks. One by one they were torn done as limbs gave way to the momentum of the bullets, being knocked back and even removed completely in some occasion. Jessie released a furry Zaeed had never seen from the old girl. She should have overheated twice over by now. Out of worry for the antique gun he stopped firing ever so briefly. One husk remained and as Zaeed turn to meet the threat. When he pulled the trigger on the gun that made him the fierce man today, he heard a sound that he never wanted to hear again. He listen cry/hiss whispered from his gun, instead of the bark of destruction followed by a deadly rain of bullets. Nothing was coming out of Jessie's barrel no matter how hard he pressed the trigger. He started uttering "no no no" repeatedly, as if it were chant to make the unpleasant truth go away. Jessie had died once again.

The husk was in mid air at leap for Zaeed. It slashed at Zaeed's right arm, at the section without armor. Pain fountain threw his arm as the blood did in the air. He wanted to look his killer in the eye before he died. But as turned to look at the husk, something strange happened. It a matter of moments the creature of flesh and machine, ready give him the final blow, was reduce to ash.

Zaeed brain tried to process everything that had just happened. His body felt hot with emotions and weary. At one moment he was sad, but then was confused why he was not dead. It then hit him like lighting. "He did it, he actually did it. The lucky bastard actually pulled it off. At the realization, his confusion turned to laughter. He laughed and laughed as of the universes funniest joke was told to him. The ache of his joints finally gave as he collapsed into a pile of rubble. He only stopped laughing to enter a well deserved deep sleep, in the heart of London, in a pile of rocks.

**Author's Note: I have started this project a while ago to bring peace to my weary soul that has had a shadow of depression over it ever sense I first got to the ending of Mass Effect 3. I tried to analyze it to bring sense of it and closure, but that did not work. So I turn to a place I never thought I would turn to, fanfiction. There I was given some peace for a while by reading some better ending stories featuring MShep/Tali in them. But that only worked for so long. Later I began to become annoyed with everyone else's depiction of Shepard. I wanted my own Shepard to have his own story. I had been imaging it for months now and now I am writing it. Be smart with your critics and give me lots of them as I know my writing is not perfect. Hell, this is my first time writing anything like this. I am more use to writing research papers and arguing over a thesis and evidence. So this also a test in writing style and whether I can write at all, so I might change writing style from time to time. Also I will be changing point of view a lot through the story and might write in some OCs. Enjoy the rest.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I own no rights to the characters and Bioware and EA own Mass Effect and all of its content. Also, thank you to all fanfic authors who inspire me to do this. I wish I could remember all of you. If I could I would list you all down here. Now enjoy.**

42 hours, 52 minutes and 12 seconds since the red wave of The Crucible washed over the galaxy and killed all synthetic life.

The cold chilling void of space, long has humanity looked up at the stars and wondered what was up there. A few decades ago humanity had found lost Prothean technology and with it went to the stars. They found a wide community of aliens of many shapes and size. Humanity joined that community and quickly becoming respected members of galaxy. It was not easy rising to what could be considered a new golden age of humanity. There were many challenges but none like the one that arrived six months ago. Six months ago threat like no other came out of the dark edges of the galaxy and began relentlessly purging and corrupting of all life. The Reapers, an ancient race sentient machine came and start a war against all space traveling organic life. They killed trillion and desecrated the homes of many. That was what the view before Admiral Hackett brought to mind.

Normally Admiral Hackett would use the view of space on his dreadnought to calm and relax his mind. When you have spent such countless hours on tours of duty as Admiral Hackett, he had to take whatever moments you can to relax and calm the mind so that your next move will end with minimal casualties. A relax and calm mind is what he need now that greatest battle of all times had been wagged. However the view he had currently only stirred more restless concerns and worries.

The image of Earth did not show the proud home world of a great species, no it showed of a tired and beaten people, people who have lost greatly. Great clouds of grey swept across the skies, raging fires burning across many of the once great cities. It will take years or even decades to rebuild and most likely twice or ten times that amount of time before anyone forgets that battle for the survival of the galaxy was fought here. But if there was anything that the Admiral had learned over the years, it was that humans are a tough lot to keep down. And because of the war, all species had finally put their differences aside and united together under one flag, the beginning of new golden age for all species. That is if this alliance of theirs does not faultier under the strain of many species now being stranded in the Sol system.

Honestly the Admiral almost wished he died in fighting, because then he would not have to deal with the hell that would be the rebuilding process. Just looking out of his window into space reminded him of how much there need to be rebuild. The fleets of dead ships floating aimlessly in space were a great reminder of that. The image of once great warships now devoid of life was just depressing sight for an old warhorse like the Admiral. A variety of ships from the insect like geth ships, to the once proud turian dreadnoughts and the elegant ships of the asari, now all reduced down chunks of precious metals. The worst part is that most likely the crews of those ships did not escape cold clasps of death. The sad tendency for Reaper weapons is that they obliterate almost any ship they come into contact with before the crew has time to escape into escape pods. Due to this most of crew die with the ship when a Reaper's weapon comes in contact with the ship.

The worst part is the view from this window only showed a small amount of total destruction the Reapers had brought. The collective casualty reports of all species that have fought in the battle had yet to be developed. However it was now most likely close to being done.

And just when the Admiral was having these most morbid thoughts, a man, most likely a lieutenant came waltzing up to Admiral with data pad in his hand. The man was in uniform of Alliance navy officer but was missing his cap and had small holes in his uniform most likely do to electrical sparks. His eyes had great dark rings from lack of sleep. His hair was dirty and unkempt. He appeared to be carrying great weight on his shoulders as if something bad happened to something he hold dear, and knowing the scale of this war, that is most likely the case.

"Sir the casualty reports from all races." said the man as he hastily gave Hackett the data pad and ran off.

Hackett looked at the pad and notice it had actual very little text. Mostly just numbers about how much of a fleet was left and notable individuals that had survived or died or were MIA.

First there was the fleet integrity divided up by race. It seemed the Quarians had took the least amount of causalities, though this made a great deal of sense to Hackett as they stayed at the back providing fire support while the Alliance and Turian fleets took most of the beating. But they still only had 64% of their once proud fleet remained. Luckily none of the Admiralty was dead, except for Tali'Zorah who was MIA.

Next were the Asari who still only had 55% percent of their fleet. The Destiny Ascension sadly was destroyed in the fighting. The Asari councilor was also MIA.

The Turians suffered some of the worst of the Reapers wrath but still had an astounding 44% percent of their fleet. Primarch Victus was reported to be in superb condition but many of his personal bodyguards were dead. Even the Turian councilor who took back his old military position just for the battle was alive.

The Alliance sadly did the best it could, but it was not enough. Almost all the heavy ships were gone, obliterated form taking the brunt of the Reaper's attack. Only 32% was left of the original fleet sent to retake Earth was left.

Hammer force have reported heavy casualties. Almost 87% percent were dead including almost all the Alliance Marine sent down there. The forces that had majority survive were the Krogan and some mercenary group under Aria's control. Those mercs were going be a problem later and in their weaken state, they be easy to remove permanently. However the Alliance was in no state to make such a move. Hackett wonder if he could get one of the other species to remove them.

The Batarians were all but gone, their fleet obliterated. One of the Reaper ships broke through the turian lines and went straight for the Batarian ships carrying civilians. It destroyed them in moments. After that Hackett guessed that the last Batarian military vessels lost the will to live at that point and made a suicidal run at the Reapers, trying to take as many as they can with them. Not all Batarians were dead, but now only a few thousand or maybe a million could be left, spread across the galaxy.

Then finally the Geth, who 0% survived. It was amazing to Hackett; he never thought he would be sad over the Geth. However they may still be scary robots to some, but in Hackett's eyes, they had redeemed themselves.

But even with all this death, Hackett had hope that they would rebuild and all would be better someday. For they have destroyed the greatest threat the galaxy had ever known. If they could do that, nothing was impossible.

Hackett just wished he could thank the man who made this all possible, Rioul Shepard.


	3. Chapter 3

43 hours, 0 minutes and 42 seconds since the red wave of The Crucible washed over the galaxy and killed all synthetic life.

Cold, silence and melancholy were stiff in the atmosphere of the escape pod. Rear Admiral Hannah Shepard just sat there in the escape pod with one of her bodyguard. Her face in her hands, her body too tired to support her head so she just let her head rest in her hands. The burden of her ship being destroyed and a majority of its crew weighed heavy on her conscience.

She tried to ignore the rumbling of her stomach but it was getting harder to. She had no idea about the amount of time spent in this escape pod or whether they had won or not. For all she knew the Reapers had won and were just leaving her in this escape pod to rot. But she doubt that, when the strange red wave washed over them. She could not but feel a swell of relief and pride fill her heart and explode. Because she just knew it had to be her son. He had done what seemed to be the impossible so many times now she wondered if she gave birth to some sort of demi-god. But Rioul Shepard's father was no were close to a god and she would prefer not to think of him right now. As she thought about it she had no idea what red wave was. It seemed to do nothing when it washed over them. It could not have been any sort of wave from a ship explosion because she would have felt it. She cursed who ever made escape pods with no windows. She could not see at the outside world and knew nothing of it. It madden her not know about what happen to her crew who were most likely dead or at least the majority of them. She wanted know what happen to her son. And damn well what know what that damn red wave was. She could just feel that it was important, a gut feeling if you will.

She looked at her watch again to see what time it was. 43 hours sense she been forced to leave her home in many regards. She had gotten to know the crew of dreadnought Kilimanjaro. She knew each crew member name and was on a first name biases with most of them. She gave them a lot of freedom and in return they gave her their best when the worst came. Sadly it was not enough. They were still floating in space, hoping that they won and the Alliance would pick them up.

"Why for the love of God have we not been picked up yet? I mean you would think would think the Alliance would want check on one of their admirals." Cried out Hannah

"There may be many other escape pods drifting out there with people in them, we should be patient. Anything could be happening out there." Private Patterson said with a straight face, and then he started chuckling. "They could be throwing a massive party for killing Reapers and they just forgot about us in the midst of their festivities."

Private Patterson was a tall man with the standard military hair cut and a pale complexion. He was one of Hannah bodyguards and was sadly the only one left. The other one died taking flying scrap metal for Hannah. Patterson had been standing guard the whole time they have been in the escape pod, not sitting once. Although he started out in the defensive pose with his rifle facing the hatch, he now was posed with left hand holding on to a handle on the ceiling and the right arm limp at his side but still holding the assault rifle tight in his right fist.

"Well they better have some drink left when they finally pick us up, I could use It." stated Hannah while she finally removed her head from her hands and started to sit up.

"Yeah I could use a drink too, hell, probably everyone who has been fighting needs one" said Patterson. As he said this, his head started to lower, letting the fatigue get to him.

"Permission to be at ease ma'am" whispered Patterson

Just as Hannah lean backed and closed her eyes and she let out" permission grated." And as soon as she said that Patterson fell to the floor in a deep sleep.

As Patterson collapsed, Hannah let fatigue of the war drive her to unconsciousness and lower her bulwark of vigilance down. To spend this time forgetting about the troubles of war and death, to forget about responsibility of command and ignoring that the fact that greatest battle of all time had just happened. Ignoring the fact that the ship she been commanding was destroy as well as the fact that her crew were dead or floating in escape pods. She then realized that that her family heirloom must have also been destroyed. An old phonograph and a countless amount of records that have been past down from all the way back when her great, great, great, great granddad walk the earth. The thought of that old record player alone was able to bring old nostalgic memories. Memories like the old singing lesson she forced her son to do. The thought about her child having tantrums as his instructor try to get him to stretch his vocal cords brought a smile to her face. It was those old records of old blues and swing artist that made the child relent to the idea of singing. She guessed the idea of singing like the charismatic men on the records appealed to the child. She wondered if her son still had his singing abilities, it's not like he would ever need them in the military.

She always knew that her kid from a young age was born to do great things. He always was asking questions as soon as he was able to. She found it quite a bit annoying but her husband always took it as a good thing. Then her husband took control of his education by home schooling him. He was always pushed her son to excellence while her son would resist. Her husband would make him learn 7th grade math when he was seven years old and high school biology when he was 11 years old. Often to escape his father, little Rioul Shepard would sneak down into engineering and hang out with engineers and probe them with questions. The chief engineer quickly took little Rioul under his wing and started to teach him about spaceships and many different kinds of engineering. By the time Rioul was 18 and forming biotic powers he was quite adapt in the fields of medicine, mechanical and electrical engineering. Then he joined the alliance marines and she divorced her husband.

And just as her thoughts drifted to that wretched ex-husband of hers, a large thump and clang interrupted her thoughts. A shake was felt throughout the escape pod and Hannah tried grab on to something to reduce the shaking. Patterson jumped up to his feet and aimed his assault rifle at the exit hatch. The hatch began to open but some sort of mechanical malfunctions was preventing it from doing so. Instead all it did was jerk around and make the sound of metal being stretch and ripped.

As this was going on, Hannah was trying to figure out who it could be trying to open the door. It did not make sense for the Reapers as they would just blast them into bits, unless they want to harvest them like the people on the conquered planets.

Then a bright white light started to burn through the hatch. Slowly making a line from the top to bottom of the door, the closer it came to reaching the bottom of the door, the more the room filled up with heat and tension. And just as the line was about finish, Hannah closed her eyes waiting for whatever monstrosity the Reapers sent to rush in and kill her.

Five assault rifle rounds were fired and the sound of man being wrestled to the ground then perforated throughout the escape pod.

"Hold your fire, were friend, friends!" cried the sergeant pouring into the escape pod.

And as she heard that she opened her eyes to the sight of Alliance marines coming into the escape pod. One marine was pinning her bodyguard to the floor while tossing his assault rifle away to far edge of the escape pod.

"At ease private these are friends." Hannah yelled to Patterson and with a worried look asked the sergeant if he hurt anyone.

"No ma'am, thank god your bodyguard is horrible shot" answered the sergeant with smirk on his face. The sergeant could not be any older than 21 thought Hannah as she expected him. He was Caucasian with French accent and one of those Alliance berets on.

"Rear Admiral Shepard I presumed" said the sergeant as he went to attention after realizing who he was talking to.

"Yes that's who I am, and be at ease soldier; by the fact you are the ones that open my pod and not some Reaper monstrosity, I assume we won?" questioned Hannah, stating it with a touch of inpatients.

"Well ma'am your son did it, thank for love of god he did it. He got to Crucible activated it and killed all the Reapers. Although I hear that the red wave thing killed the geth too but I won't shed a tear for them." uttered the sergeant.

And at that moment Hannah heart swelled with joy at the news, that her boy saved the galaxy again. No mother in the universe could be more proud of their offspring then her.

"Well what are you waiting around for, take me to him. I must see him now before I lose my temper" cried out Hannah, with teary eyes.

"Well sorry ma'am, but I can't do that. No one can do that right now because he is MIA. They suspect to be on the Citadel and all race are sending people to try and find him and any other survivors" said the sergeant, now trying to avoid eye contact with Hannah. He looked at the wall behind her as pitiful attempt not to face a mother's wrath.

"Well then take me to Citadel then" yelled out Hannah, looking like she was about to bludgeoned the poor man she was yelling at.

"Sorry ma'am, I am under order to take any high ranking military officials to Admiral Hackett, on his ship." stated the sergeant.

"Why?" Hannah cried out.

"I do not know ma'am, but if I had to guess it would be to start and organize some rebuilding effort.

Hannah mold over the idea in her mind, thinking that made to most sense before saying "Alright I will come, sense I have no real choice in the manner really." Then with a smile said "It's always the mother job to clean their children mess is in it."

And with that she peacefully went on the soldier's shuttle and was escorted back to Hackett with a smile on her face. It would not be easy sense most of the civilian government is dead, but the Alliance will rebuild, just like humanity has always done when faced with tragedy.


	4. Chapter 4

44 hours, 2 minutes and 37 seconds since the red wave of The Crucible washed over the galaxy and killed all synthetic life.

She hated this, the waiting before deployment thought Kala. She hated sitting it the cramp, dark, noisy and cold insides of a gunship, waiting for it to land. They hardly had a day's rest before they were on another mission, but that's how been throughout this war. Mission after mission, injury after injury, rush after rush, it all got to you eventually. She figured after biggest battle of all time was fought she could get some rest. She thought her and fellow huntress could definitely use some rest, well all two of them.

She could still remember them fighting so vividly, the death of each of her squad mates. But yet they died and the young-blood lived. She stared at youngest in her squad, who was pretending not to notice her glaring by look at something else. Why did she live when her closest friends had not. She had only been redeployed into her squad right before the Battle of Earth and could not be more than two hundred years old. She did not even have the markings of a full huntress. If things were normal she would be still be training to master her biotics at their temple, but things were not normal. So instead they threw children into battle, hoping they take bullet for the real warriors.

Kala closed her eyes briefly and was back at that battle. Her squad was hunkered down in some foxhole. Two members of the original ten were down. Kala look to her left to see her closest friend, Ursila. They met when they were nothing but children. They always were playing games like Justicar and Criminal and other games with fighting. They join the order of huntresses for their colony together and train for centuries together. But here it was, like in slow motion. Ursila tried to fire her gun at husk about to leap on her, to only hear the sound of clicking. Next, before Kala can shoot the husk, the husk lands on Ursila, pinning her to the ground. It grabs her head with those long talons and begins trying to pull it off her shoulders, while pounding it into the ground. The husk the push it thumbs into her eyes, squishing them, making her scream a scream that could be heard above all the gunshots and explosions. Then it succeeds in the task it sent out to do, with a loud crack and disgusting sound flesh tearing, her head comes free. With anger now guiding every thought in her being, She lift the husk into the air with her biotics and slammed into the ground over and over again, until it just a pile of flesh and metal.

She did not deserve to die on that goddess forsaken world the humans called home. It was disgusting and depressing with its grey skies and sickly smelling air. No wonder the humans expanded so fast she thought, they were trying to escape that god forsaken rock they evolved from.

Kala looked to their squad leader, for some comforting words or anything to cure this distress she felt but was only given the calm and stoic gaze of their leader. Theea was almost old enough to be a matriarch but she always stayed and taught and sometimes led the huntress of her temple. It was strange to see her fight. She seemed always in control and always unfazed no matter the enemy. Kala could never understand how she could stay so calm all the time. Even when that heavily modified Reverent machine gun named "Precious" ran out of ammo and she was using it as a club, she still had to calm look and aura about here. Kala guess that's what made her such a good leader. She never let things affect her or her performance. A bright exemplar on what they should all strive to.

But even her normally calm presence was doing nothing for Kala, so she looked at their extra company. An asari doctor whose name escaped Kala at the moment. They were being sent by High Command to survey the Citadel Presidium and look for survivors. That's what all the asari huntresses and commandos were doing. Sense there was nothing left to kill, command thought they be good search and rescue. However their squad medic died, so they got this little doctor who looked like she barely got out of school. Very unlikely she had any field experience thought Kala.

"ETA in one minute." blurted the pilot out of the speakers. Her voice had a shake to it, suggesting she saw something unsettling thought Kala.

Theea looked to and gave them a glance that asked if they were ready. Kala and the young-blood both nodded they were ready but the doctor gave them a strange and confused look, not knowing the huntresses body language.

"I was asking my squad mates if they were ready, we often use signs and looks to communicate so not to waste time" Theea addressing the doctor's bewilder look.

Before the doctor could respond to Theea, there was a rumble throughout the gunship. They had landed. As the gunships back hatch open with a hiss, a foul aroma filled the asari's nostrils. As they poured themselves out of the gunship, they immediately stop at the sigh before them. The Presidium was not how they remember it last. Instead of normal bright light were instead replaced with a low red glow. The streets and walkways were covered in bodies, mostly human; a consistent layer of death and decay two to four feet thick. The only places that were cleared of dead were small lanes that keepers stayed in. However even the keepers were motionless, as if frozen in time of what they were doing. Then the once proud lakes of the Presidium had no water, instead replaced with the bloated bodies that poured over the edges of the lake.

Kala begin to gag at the smell of so many dead. She forced all her concentration and focus she had built up with long years of training to repress her gag reflex. However after a moment she was able to calm her body and focus at the task at hand. Although as she looked at these piles of death, she could not help but think nothing could be alive here. As she looked at the rest of her team she saw that the doctor had far less control over her body then she did. The doctor was on her hands and knees, letting all the material in her stomach exit her system. Theea went to aid of the doctor while the young-blood and Kala went out to try figure out where exactly they were on the Presidium.

Kala looked around but so little seemed familiar with the Reapers "adjustments", all seem so the same. It was just pile after pile after floor of dead. Although one shape stood out amongst the gloom the place carried. The mass relay statue at the base of the Council tower told her that they were near the Human, Volus and Elcor embassy. It also told her that those large pieces of rubble from the Council tower were lying on top of the Krogan statue. Kala smiled a little when she thought about how the Krogan would react to fact their statue had been smashed.

Kala turned around to see the doctor had finally recovered from the experience and activating some sort of scanner on her omni-tool. Probably some bio-metric scanner or something like that Kala guessed.

"Let's check out the embassy" Theea shouted while pointing to the embassy.

However the search of the embassy proved fruitless as all they saw was more dead. Kala start to feel really uncomfortable feeling. She tried carefully to walk over the dead without desecrating the corpse. Though whenever she looked down there would be a face of a human, asari or some other species petrified in screaming terror with their eyes rolled over. The gaze of the corpse was soul crushing to say the least.

They left the embassy to go check out C-sec but the elevator was jammed with this goo that none of them want know what it was made of. So the proceed to the consorts old establishment. They found it was just crammed with bodies as well. Kala began to wonder how anyone was going to identify all these corpses.

Then they began to walk towards the emporium when the doctor's omni-tool started to beep. They all stared stun at the machine as they had been silent most way through this search.

"It would seem that someone requires are aid wouldn't doctor. Where is it coming from" whispered Theea into the doctor's ear.

The doctor stumbled and fiddled with her omni-tool as if she has no idea what to do. It was moments before she finally replied "It seems to coming from that rumble by where the Krogan statue should be."

Kala looked at the lake of dead bodies surrounding the rubble and could not help but start gag again. Although not as bad as when they originally arrived, it still took a few seconds to regain her composure. Kala looked to Theea for how to best approach the rubble and Theea started to use her biotics to levitate to the rubble. The other huntress followed her example, but this left the doctor unsure what to do as her own biotic abilities never had advanced the most basic levels. Upon realizing who they left behind, Theea went back and brought here to the rubble. They all stood on one large slab the use to be a part of the tower main wall. The beeping got louder. They began then to remove the piece of debris with their biotics. Slowly and carefully moving each piece way from the original site, stopping every once in a while to look at the other gunship bringing down other search crew across the Citadel. They eventually got to the Krogan statue underneath. It was knocked over on its front but beside that, it had weather the storm quite well. But more importantly what was on its hump, a man. A man with N7 branded on his armor.

Kala stood next to this man to admire the amount of punishment he had taken. It was obvious he was in a bad state. He had minor cuts and lacerations across his body. His right foot and shin were all but gone. However she could not help but study his face. He had a military hair cut of black hair and the starting of a beard. His skin was a very pale. He had high cheek bones and heavy laugh lines. His facial structure was more lean and thin. His chin was also small. He had dark circles under his eyes. And under his eye lids there was a bright red light like that of a fire in a forge. All across his face where there were cuts, there was that red light. The red light circled around his face and made it look like you could pull his face off. Kala found it disturbing. She always thought human males were repulsive but this man face gave her goose bumps.

As the doctor rush to his side to stabilize him when Kala asked "How likely is he going to make it?"

"Not likely if you keep distracting me" the doctor barked back.

Kala weigh the decision in her head. In her particular order of huntress, it's a common practice to mind meld with those near death so not lose their battle experiences. But here this man was not part of her order but if he is who she thinks it is it would be a travesty to let this man mastery of war die with him. Her fellow sister would not stop her and doctor would be powerless. Even if he lived would he even know she had done it? Unlikely she thought.

She slowly removed her gloves and kneeled before and started the meld. A wave of tiredness and pain washed over her. She saw men and woman die left and right of her as they rushed a bunker full of batarians. A single man was at head of this charge. The next image was that same man with a flamethrower setting ablaze the batarians in bunkers. Their flesh blistered and cracked and finally melted off their bones. Their screams filled the room but man kept an expressionless face as he burned them alive. She saw countless more die by his hands. Men, women, alien or human, nothing seemed free of his wrath. But there was place in this man's soul not devoted to the death. She saw that he was also a good friend to a few and he defended them ravenously. However there was something else, something recent. There was a source of power greater than that of rage or valor. It was Love, a deep love for someone that fouled his muscles for war. It became too much for Kala and she released him. Kala stumbled and fell on her rump as she let go. She was sweating profusely and shaking.

"What were you thinking, that could have possibly but him in a permanent coma, mind melding with him in state like this." shouted the doctor.

"She was doing what was expected of her. Huntresses from our order are told not let lessons learned by others be wasted. What would of happen if died right here. No one would be able to learn from him and learn how he became such a great warrior. We could only be able to speculate why. If she had not done it, I would. Now tell me Kala, how was it."

Kala could not respond as the experience and emotion in his mind were too intense to properly convey.

"Well then doctor, I suggest you speedy up his recovery. The galaxy I am sure will want to meet its savior" said Theea with a smirk.


	5. Chapter 5

44 hours, 23 minutes and 14 seconds since the red wave of The Crucible washed over the galaxy and killed all synthetic life.

The bridge of dreadnought was a busy and crowded place. Men and women working at different workstations, monitoring shields, weapon and life support system. Moving and directing power to different systems. The communication of this dreadnought were bigger the usual as they were meant to receive all the messages from 5th Alliance fleet at once. However it no longer served that purpose anymore as with the massive amounts of casualties having led it to being now the flagship of the entire Alliance fleet. And as Admiral Hackett has become the head for the Alliance military the many aliens they worked with have started to send great amount of messages to communication stations.

The men and women there had exhausted expression on their faces. Each having aged years beyond their true age because the tidal wave of messages was being sent to Admiral Hackett. Each of them had started to form grey hair and dark rings under their eyes. But one of the men at the communication station lit up. His eyes grow wide like plates and his mouth growing agape. He began to stutter his words and twitch from excitement. Whatever news he had heard had left incapable of cognitive function. He barely could remember to report to the Admiral.

"Ah, sir I think you will want to hear this." He stuttered

"Who is it?" asked Hackett

"Matriarch Wiethyell" answered the subordinate

"Put it up on speaker" quickly retorted Hackett after realizing that was one of the matriarchs commanding the asari forces.

"Hello Admiral Hackett and have some good news I think you will want to hear." said the matriarch with a noticeable form of glee in her voice.

"Any good news right now is welcomed right now"

"Recently one of my commando teams searching the Presidium of the Citadel found something of yours."

"Well please don't keep me waiting." responded Hackett after noticing this matriarchs love for the dramatic.

"We have found the great commander Shepard and are currently have him being sent to our most advance medical bay on the dreadnought Wind of Fate"

"I must request that release the commander under Alliance care as I wish to monitor him myself."

"But Admiral I think our doctors are much more experience than yours and are equipment is more advanced"

"Well then you can have your doctors and equipment can come over here when you hand over the commander"

"Fine, Admiral but I insist that you let Doctor Portoa lead the recovery effort, she has over 750 years in the medical field."

"Your suggestion has been duly noted, Admiral Hackett logging out." Hackett said barley subduing his urge to let the happiness of Shepard's survival get to him.

Admiral Hackett then molded over the idea of whether or not to tell other species leaders about Shepard's survival. On one hand letting more people know could be a security risk but letting people know could improve moral and they could use all the help they could get if Shepard is in bad condition. In the end decide that it was better to let the people know. Admiral Hackett then proceeded to swiftly move to his own terminal and create an email telling about Shepard condition. He then sent to all of Alliance command and to the leaders of their allies.

It would do well for the people to know that their savior still breathes. He had become a hero to many now throughout the galaxy. An idol for human relentless determination, he is also a symbol of unity and strength. To many he will be something to put on pedestal for all to see. However those people did not know the details of his service. Ever since Torfan, Hackett was worried about Shepard. After that he became cold, calculating and uncaring to pain and death. However that just what he could tell from the reports he sent and the few encounters he has had with him; Admiral Hackett still knew very little about the man.

Then a beeping sound interrupted his thoughts as emails returned back to him. The leaders of their allies were quick to respond. Primarch Victus could offer no more but good wish of a speedy recovery. Urdnot Wrex apparently had sent an elite group of krogan called Aralakh Company to Hackett's dreadnought to guard Shepard. The Quarians had some sort of experts in cybernetics and were sending them to help with Shepard's recovery.

"Umm sir, some asari have requested to dock" uttered one of the communication officers.

"Permission granted and let everyone know to let them do what they need to do. Also send them direction to one of the medical bays." ordered Hackett.

Then with haste Hackett stormed down to the medical bay, to intercepted the asari and make sure it was really Shepard. He needed to see him for himself and know the pain he had taken for not only him but the entire galaxy. He pushed and shoved people out of his way to get his destination faster. His bodyguards had to jog to keep up with him. But by the time he reached the medical bay the asari had already invaded and forced his own medical team out of the bay. They then seem to be proceeding with performing some kind of surgery. At this point he realized that barging in would be a bad idea as they were already seem be preparing for surgery. To barge in might ruin their concentration or make them make a mistake; it was simply not his place. He decided then to simply wait outside until he can talk to the leader of this group of doctors. The doctors then polarized the windows viewing into the medical bay as they began go into surgery.

It was no less than three minutes before Hackett got a messaging saying some quarians wanted on board. He gave them permission and continued to wait outside the med-bay in his chair he place right next to the door to the med-bay. It was only moments later five or six quarians came by and enter the med-bay carrying all sorts equipment Hackett did not recognized. It then accrued the Hackett that this operation they were performing would take some time. Instead of waiting he decided to go back to CIC and resume his work.

* * *

Grunt did not like sitting these cramp shuttles that the Alliance provided for his company. It was probably the fact they were meant for humans and not krogans, so he could not sit in any of the seats. He had to stand there back to back, shoulder to shoulder with six other krogan. It was not pleasant and just got everyone anxious for a fight, which normally a good thing thought Grunt but this was not about fighting some monsters. No this time it was about guarding the greatest battle master that had ever lived. His battle master, the one who killed a thresher maw with him and help him pass his Rite of Passage. Normally when a battle master was critically wound his follower would leave or take his place, but Shepard was the best and none could surpass him in Grunt's eyes. So that meant he needed the galaxies best warriors to protect him and Grunt was pure krogan. This made him a more than appropriate applicant to be his guard. And Aralakh Company are some of the toughest krogan out there and under Grunt's leadership none could touch Shepard without their permission, or at least that was what Grunt thought.

"Make this damn shuttle move faster" yelled Grunt as he kicked the wall of the pilot's cockpit, letting his anger frustration out on the wall.

"ETA five minutes, sending request to dock" said the pilot over intercom

It still felt like hours to Grunt, having to wait and land while his blood boiled with the need to see his battle master. He even heard grumbling and complaining now from his men about how they got stuck with guard duty.

"Shut up men. You are krogan, not belly aching quarians. You should be honored that you're being allowed to guard the greatest battle master that ever lived. So shape yourselves up, now!" shouted Grunt into comms channel that led to all his men.

Then he felt the dampener in the shuttle lessen, which gave him the clue they had landed. As he exited his shuttle he looked to the rest of his men. During the Battle of Earth his company had lost about three quarters of its men. Grunt still remember the battle in great detailed and could not help but smile at the event. When he had assaulted the Collector base with Shepard he thought nothing could top that but the fighting in London proved to be more fierce and aggressive than anything the Collectors had offered. He even had to resort to using the weapons of the dead because he broke due his weapon by using it as club when beating in a brute's face. He could still remember the smell of dead and explosions that filled his body with euphoria.

He then noticed an Alliance marine walk up to him in full battle armor and pistol in his hand.

"Urdnot Grunt I assume, I was ordered by Hackett to lead to the medical bay but do not disturb the doctors, they are doing surgery right now. They might be done by the time we get there." uttered the marine.

Grunt grunted his understanding and ordered his men to follow the man. As the walk he could not help but notice how staff all turned their heads to look at them with awe. Jaws dropped as the saunter by them. It made Grunt laugh to see what he and his men did to these little weak humans. However Grunt wanted to kill man who did not make these hallways big enough for a group of krogan to walk through. Grunt kept bumping into humans who were to slow to move out of the way of a determined krogan. Judging by pained expression on some humans he push away, he though he killed them.

Then finally Grunt got to what look like a waiting room. It had lots of human sized chairs against the wall. He guessed maybe the room was six krogan lying down wide and about five krogan lying down long. On the other side from were Grunt was standing, there was a wall with large opaque windows. There appeared to be some doctors and nurses standing around.

"The medical bay is room across but they seem to be in the middle of something. The windows are clear if it's okay to visit. You could talk to the doctors outside here to find out more. Goodbye sir." said the marine before he left.

As soon as he departed Grunt notice an asari who appeared to be matriarch stages or close to and was wearing the standard white doctor uniform. Grunt decided to ask her about his battle master's condition.

"You, doctor asari person, tell me about Shepard's condition." blurted out Grunt

"The name is Portoa for your information and I will tell about the commander once you tell me what you are doing here." demanded Portoa, who grew a scowl at the sight of these krogan.

"I am Urdnot Grunt and these are my men. We were ordered by Urdnot Wrex to guard over Shepard with our lives." announced Grunt with pride lacing his voice.

"Well that's just great. Just do not get in the way of the doctors and we will be fine. Now Shepard is now currently being worked on by the quarians who are applying cybernetics to any missing parts. However Shepard is in a stable condition but his body been through so much he will be unconscious for probably a long time. I would give him a month at least before he stirs. Although I am surprised he is in this good of condition considering he has been shot at by a Reaper and was at center of the Crucible when it activated."

"I need more detail" screamed Grunt.

"Alright, this is new, a krogan who cares about others well being. Well if have to know his head is in rather good condition, just small cuts and a punctured eardrum. His chest plate melted onto his skin so that had to be removed and it took most the skin on his chest with it. His left bicep seems to have been completely ripped out and is being replaced with synthetic muscle. The bones in both his fore arms have been smashed. He is missing his left little finger and ring finger. Right kidney has been ruptured but can be cloned and replaced. His liver took some gunshot wounds. Both lungs have been partially collapsed. Three ribs have been broken. His left shoulder has been dislocated with a lot tendons cut. The femoral artery in his left leg was slice so he lost a lot of blood there. He is missing his right shin and foot. And that it all the damage we categorized so far. Those cybernetics he has are impressive. Even now that most of them seem to be deactivated they still hold his body together. The nano-bots are still working so that should speed up recovery. I do not know if the cybernetics could be reactivated; ask the quarians after they are done working on him. Now excuse me I have to plan out the rest of his care for next month or so." said Portoa right before she left for some unknown destination.

Grunt took a few moments to process the information. He then walked over to the window and put his head to the glass, trying to look in. He saw some shapes huddle around a table doing some frantic work but he could not tell what they were telling. Grunt thought how much he wanted Shepard to get better. Who would bring the next fight? The next suicide mission or great war? Everyone was talking about peace and how great that will be but Grunt did not want that. He was a krogan bred to be the best fighter. He was meant to fight and to weed out the weak. Where would be his place now in this new age people are talking about? Grunt did not care; as long as he got shot something living he would be happy.


	6. Chapter 6

124 hours, 57 minutes and 33 seconds since the red wave of The Crucible washed over the galaxy and killed all synthetic life.

Circuitry and wiring surrounded Tali, sparks and smoke filled the vent as she solder different wires in place. This sort of menial work filled her mind and distracted her from other things. It took her mind off of other things she did not want to think about. Anyways almost half Normandy's circuitry had burned out due to their crash landing, so she figured she should do more good by fixing some of the circuits than by grieving and being pitiful. Her friends and crewmates need her if they want get off this accursed planet. She had spent enough time already crying.

The couple hours after having left the battle were the worst. She remembered how she cried out how it was unfair for him to be taken away from her twice now. How all those love filled promise seemed empty now. She had locked herself away in Shepard's room crying about the future she had lost. How that glorious blissful future seemed so close but was taken away as Shepard left her in the Normandy.

She could still see that future flash before her eyes and caused her skin to tingle. She was standing on top of hill with a small house behind her. She wore just robes, no environmental suit to keep her away from the experience. She felt the wind caress her skin. The scent of pollen caused her nose to itch. Tikkun bright rays radiated out and burned her eyes. And as she leaned back, a wall of muscle catch her and surrounded her in its arms. Shepard would hold her and occasionally kiss her while they embrace under Rannoch's sun.

Then Tali shook her head violently to break out of the fantasy. She could not indulge in those kinds of fantasy, her work needed her attention. And if she did slip into fantasy again, she might not be able handle returning to the real world.

As she returned to her work, her mind returned to the past, more specifically, her past with Shepard. She already had done a great deal of this on her second day of grieving. As she spent her first day crying about the future, the second she spend dwelling on the past and how she would find no other man like him.

He was always cold and threatening to people he did not know well. He was always quick to show his aggression and his seemly lack of care about other people. He would often use brute force to get his point across, but he would do it in a calmly matter. How nonchalantly he push that one Eclipse merc out the window still gave her goose bumps. But yet he was never mean or cruel to his crew. He was polite, friendly and understanding with them. He was always mixing with the crew making sure they were okay. He would always put on that Shepard charm for his crew. And he was always quick to defend them from anything. Whether it was thresher maws or angry admiralty boards, he was always there with a helping hand and a smile.

When she finally got into a relationship with him though, she found what seemed like whole new man. He was kind, respectful and patient. He never rushed her into doing anything and let her control the pace of the relationship. When they did finally have intercourse he was gentle and reassuring. And afterwards she find out he had put just as much effort into making this intimacy happen as her. He had woken with a rash on his back that he had gotten from a special disinfectant. The disinfectant not only kills all bacteria on the body but also stays on the body and destroys dead skin cell falling off the body. However when used too much of it can cause a rash and even scarring.

She also found that on the data pad he was reading when she arrived, that he was reviewing emergency procedure to perform on quarian who suffering from a severe allergic reaction. There were also several articles booked marked from Fornax on how to please a quarian. It was nice to see she was not the only one looking at shady places for information. That was not even the full extent of what he had done in preparation for that faithful night. Before she took off her helmet, her olfactory sensor told her that several germicides normally used in clean rooms were being pump into the air. Although she knew it would not be enough to stop her from getting sick from other things like Shepard's own cells and any antigen not affected by the germicide. She did very much appreciate how much effort it seemed he had put into this moment. It still did not change the fact she was risking far more then he was at that moment. Rejection, embarrassment and even death were all possibilities. Thankfully that night of joyous ecstasy of the flesh turn out to be totally worth it.

Though the sex was great, she found the time after the suicide mission but before the house arrest were some of the happiest times in her life. Without the weight of the suicide mission on their shoulder, it gave them time to explore their relationship more. Shepard and her would hang out in his cabin have delightful small chat about each other culture, engineering, themselves and other things. It was a time to see another side of the hero. When it was them alone, he became just a man. Even when surrounded by his friends he always kept up this persona of strength and control. But when it was just the two them he let his guard down and just be a man.

He told her about all sort of things from his taste in movies and music. He talked about his fascination with ships and space. He gave praise to his mother which made her sound like a truly wonderful person. But he never talked about his dad and sadly she never got to find out why.

And then there was the time he invited her to stay in his cabin and sleep their instead of the pod. She was confused at first thinking that he meant without the suit but he explain to her that he just wanted sleep next to her and did not need her to take it off. She told him she would think about it. She eventually agreed.

The bed did not do much for her though. The mattress was as hard as the ones in the crew deck and she could not feel the sheets. The pillow was very giving but did not matter because of her helmet. The part that made it worth it was feeling those arms hold her, it gave her a sense of security. Shepard was very possessive and loud when he slept. He always had to be hold her to fall asleep quickly and he snored like a krogan when sleeping peacefully. Thankfully her suit came with a feature to mute the outside world.

It was there bed they watch many movies together. Shepard said it was a common thing for human couples to do and she like the idea to see what the great commander Shepard watched. Apparently he did not watch a lot of movies but when he did he avoided movies with a lot action and violence. He said movies, he thought, were meant to let you escape your normal life and for him violence and action was his normal life. So they watched a lot of comedies and romance. But neither of them had watched a lot of movies so she asked Joker for suggestions, but making sure not to tell him about their relationship. Shepard and her had agreed to keep their relationship on the low so people would not figure out and leak out to the public or get harassed about to some of their more annoying crew; though those that were close to them found out on their own it seemed.

One side she did not think she would see from Shepard was pain. She never realized how much pain he was in until they became close. The fighting it seemed toke a greater tool on Shepard then she ever knew. She found that out when she asked about Torfan.

9 months ago

Shepard and Tali sat together on the foot of the bed. The lights were down low and only the light from the stars and the aquarium light the room. They both starred at the stars through the window on the ceiling with blank expression on their faces.

"Can I ask you a question" blurted out Tali, breaking the silence. Now she was staring at the red scar on Shepard's cheek.

"Sure, but don't have to ask anymore for permission anymore Tali" uttered out Shepard

"I was doing some digging about your past and well when I looked up Torfan well let's just say I could not find anyone saying nice things about you, so I figured I should hear your side of the story"

At this question Shepard just froze. He did not expect this and did not want talk about it. He never talked about it to anyone beside Anderson.

As he thought his answer over his head began to drop and he started to stare at some imaginary thing on the floor. The web of scars on the side of his face started to glow an even brighter red. And as this was happening, Tali notice something about Rioul's eyes. The red pupils shrink and then increased again and darken. It seemed his eyes that normally portrayed power and intellect had been filled with something else. Maybe grief or sorrow perhaps thought Tali.

"Tali, any soldier whose been serving for a long period of time has a mission, a mission that will shape and change him for the rest of his life. Torfan was that for me. I learn four things about war that day that I will never forget. The mission was bad from the start. The batarians had bunkered down in some mountainous region and had artillery emplacements set up. Many men did not make it through the anti-air fire. When we got to the ground we were at half strength and the heavy amounts of AA fire meant no EVAC. Our commanding officer, Major Kyle, lost it and took some men and tried to surrender. The batarians killed them but Major Kyle ran away. The second in command was dead and I was the only respectable soldier there. We did not have enough rations to walk around the mountains and attack the bunkers from the back so we had go in through the front. Our vehicles did not make to the ground so we had to run through the empty field at the front of the base. There were mines in the field, artillery ready rain death to those who charged and heavy machine gun emplacements facing us. So I did the only thing I could think of, charge. I lead charge through that field, running at the very front. I only looked back once and I regret it. Behind me I saw men and women rip to shreds by machine guns. There were soldiers who disappeared into red mist as soon they tripped a mine or were hit directly by artillery. There I learned that two things determine whether or not a man will die on the field of battle, luck and strength. As I looked back I saw people take bullets, keep on running, make it to bunkers and made the batarians pay, showing me that strong willed ones are the ones that live. But there were ones hit directly by an artillery shell which in that case its luck. A soldier must be lucky enough not to run into a no win situation. I finally reached the bunkers with but a few scratches. I place my demolition charge and blow the wall. I then shot anything with four eyes. I eventually ran out of ammo and resort to close combat. I picked a fight with a batarians with a flamethrower. I eventually disarmed and took the flame thrower for myself and started burning things. All I remember afterwards is the heat and the screaming. They begged for mercy but I gave them none. That's where I learn causalities are inevitable and it not commands fault for their deaths. Instead make the enemy pay for every death and show your enemy no remorse as they will not show you it. Next thing I remember is I remember is standing in rubble with all the batarians reduced to ash. That when I learn my last lesson there. Everything is up for sacrifice to make sure the mission is accomplished. I lost my humanity that day but I think your helping me get it back."

The present

Listing to Shepard's retailing of the story of Torfan was disturbing although it still made her happy to learn more about the man she have fallen for. Her thoughts about those happier times were watering up her eyes and were threatening to ruin her concentration. She needed to focus for her friends so they could get of this rock, even if her friends tried to force her to accept Shepard's death two days ago. They try to make her place his plaque on the wall, to help her coup with it. But right when she was about to place it on the wall, she got this feeling. This feeling telling her he was alive and need her. So she dropped the plaque and went to engineering and has not left their since. She had Adams bring her food and she did not sleep for long. She sent directions to repair the ship to all the crew who know a thing or two about any form of engineering. And now here she is, toiling away not only for friend but for her love.

**Author's Note: I hated how one sided the relationship is in ME2. Tali seem to do all the work and Shepard just reaps the benefits. I will not stand for this, so I made Shepard have a more active part to leading up of the first intimate act. That is all.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Sorry for the delay, I planned to post this by June 15th, but lets just say I have not had a steady source of internet for a while. Deepest Apologize **

A dreary landscape surrounded Rioul Shepard. The ground was black like ink and sickly oil black vapors oozed out of the ground. Black leafless trees were within spitting distance in any direction. Grey clouds covered the sky and created a shroud of despair and depression.

Rioul tried to take a breath but his lungs just burned. It felt like he was suffocating. He immediately felt his head and found no helmet. He started to panic search for helmet but as time passed he notice he was not dying. His lungs screamed for oxygen and were burning from a lack of it, but he was not dying. It was like ever last drowning. It was like those moments before death given an eternity to play out. But Rioul had master endurance and withstanding pain during his career as a sentential for the Alliance.

He then continued to look around this strange environment he was placed in. As he went along he heard whispering. He could not make it out at first but he was sure he heard his name. Then something strange took his notice. A pattern of lights formed on the ground, four blue lights positioned like the dots on the four side of a dice. He moved closer to them and kneeled before them. They reminded him of the eyes of a Reaper cannibal. As he looked back up he saw all the trees were gone and in their place thousands or even millions of these patterns appeared across the ground. As he looked up, he was surprised to not only see the clouds gone but in their stead, a very large mass relay. It completely encompasses the sky and looked so close. It looked like Rioul could just jump and hold his hand up and touch it. It seemed just a jump away from feeling its smooth cool surface.

A load cacophony of screaming split the air. It was the sound of a million people seeing their own little nightmares and releasing their fear and terror. It made Rioul eardrums rattle in his head. His brain was beating itself against the sides of his skull trying anything to relieve itself to agony of the sound. Even his bones shook in their meaty pockets, twisting the tendons and making the ligaments scurry in the furry of the sound. And as Rioul fell to his hands and knees in arduous agony he saw a final fifth dot form below the four other dots. However the other four dots were more like pin points in comparison to the raging maw below them.

Then Rioul close his eyes and begin to try focus on other things besides the pain and the madness set before him. It did nothing of the sort as noise pierced his mind and invaded his thoughts. Then suddenly the scream of million was silenced and replaced with the agony of heat. The sound was just gone and instead of violent vibration of sound violating his body, it was heat that took his place. Every surface of his body rioted in boiling rage as the heat bombarded Rioul entire body. It like he was placed in the center of the sun. The heat then speared through the surface of his skim; like lances of heat skewering every cell in his body. Then one by one, from the outside to the core did a wave course through every cell, filling them with heat and energy until they were right about to explode.

Rioul grasped the earth like man holding on to edge of a cliff. His fingers sink into the soil. The dirt did not take this well and pushed back. It pushed back his skin, cracked his finger nails and pushed the nail back. Blood started linking out from lunula of his fingers.

He then started gritting his teeth rubbing them back and forth to try cause a distracting pain. But the heat was to overpowering and filled Rioul being. His very soul felt like it was burning. His blood was boiling. The hair ignited and was incinerated down to the roots. He felt like what must be fire creep under his eyelids and started steaming his eyes in his own tears.

And just when Rioul was on the brink of unconscious, the pain and heat were gone. They were stopped as suddenly as the screaming. But instead of another pain taking its place, all there was a cold breeze caressing his check like the touch of a lover. It was euphoric. Rioul stayed there for what felt like eternity, with his eyes close trying to absorb all the ecstasies of a cold breeze. A simple breeze felt like heaven after what must have been an inferno. Seconds became minutes and hours became days as Rioul stayed on his hands and knees feebly.

When the weight of pain started to seep out of his body, a need became prevalent. Then that all too human emotion, curiosity, started to form a cyst in his mind, demanding and throbbing for attention. All it demanded was he open his eyes and look upon to world, to see what had become of it.

He slowly lifted his eye lids as if they had been shut for centuries. His vision started as blurry, a mush of grey, black with a center of blue light. He stared unblinking at the light as his brain corrected his vision. The black became dark clouds and smoke. The grey became rock, rubble broken buildings. He turned his next to get a better grasp of his surroundings. Pain then stringed across his neck and back but the pain was minor compared to what Rioul had just felt. It then all started to become clear where he was. It was Earth or more specifically the funnel that lead to conduit leading to the citadel. This is where he flicked away like an ant by Harbinger. Rioul could tell from burning, turned over Makos, the scorch marks were people had been and where Hammer had failed. He looked up at the sky to see if the Reapers were still there but the view was clotted by smoke and clouds.

Then what felt like hundreds of little whispers filled his ear with incoherent noise with the occasional "Shepard" being groaned. The people of the galaxy, his friends and most importantly his love Tali needed him to do one more thing. The Reapers must die now.

He got up and marched over with pride in his step. His vision was filled with the times he and Tali spent time just loving on another. The confession of each other's feelings, the first intimate night, the nights and days before the house arrest, Rannoch and their talk on Earth all rush through him, empowering him. Then something strange happened; it appeared as if something was coming out of the Conduit. It started to stir and then one by one geth started come out of the Conduit unarmed. Then dozen of them formed up in rows in front of the Conduit, with one standing out in front of them.

Rioul started to approach them carefully, confused about what they were doing in the Citadel. Were they working for the Reapers? As he got closer to see them in more detail, he suddenly froze in horror. The one standing at the front above the rest had a hole in his chest and a scrap of N7 armor welded on his right shoulder. Legion, no it cannot be you, thought Shepard.

"Why?" uttered Rioul while his mind tried to deal with stress of what seemed like impossibility. Legion would never ally with the Reapers, he had gained full sentience thought Rioul, trying to reassure himself that this was wrong, just a misunderstanding.

"Why do you hurt us?" blurted Legion and his geth. "Do we not have a soul?" said the geth in their rows, unflinching, lights pointed at Rioul, demanding an answer. But as Rioul was beginning to form a response, the geth interrupted. A chorus composed of those two questions was barked by the geth at every second. It became of a tidal wave of techno screeching as the geth began to march forward at great pace. Shepard proceeded to walk backwards to avoid the torrent of geth but his foot caught on a piece of scrap metal and he fell on his back. He looked up at four figures looming over him.

"Why do you hurt us?" inquired EDI, Samara, Falere, and Miranda as their blank regard pierced into Rioul's soul. They walked around him and joined the geth in their call.

Then from the sky a familiar figure came. Titanic metal legs landed around the inquirers and seemly moving those hundreds of feet away. Four red stars focused their gaze upon Rioul. Harbinger has come.

"You have failed" blared Harbinger like a fog horn, his presence was dominating and awe-inspiring to behold.

"No" screamed Rioul in his head. He had not fought for so long to fail now. Everyone needed him. So many have died and they must be given peace. Peace through the destruction.

Rioul then felt something start build with in him, an energy of some sort. Every battle, gunshot, adrenaline rush, explosion, tear, sweat, blood drop and things of war met with in him. Drawn by the threat to the promise he made. He was going to build that house and live. No mercy for those that stand in his way.

Then like divine retribution, a wave of red cascade from without Riuol. It encompassed everything and reduced this affront to that promise to glowing red particles. However the particles did not fall to the ground, no they hang in shape of their previous form. Then they began to change and move. They swirled into tornado kilometers tall, turning and swaying with the grace of a dancer. The particles then began to change color, from a light red to a purple. A figure made of the particles pronounced itself from the tornado. A feminine figure with wide hips and hood came forth. A quarian Rioul realized. His love, she then reached out to him with those three fingered hands.

"Come back to me" she said with elegance of a goddess.

Shepard held out his own hand, stretching to embrace his love. Just as his finger finally touched one of her fingers, white light filled his vision and the sound of beeping in his ear.

**Again Author's Note: I desperately want more reviews, cause it is hard to tell what I am doing wrong, and I sure I am doing something wrong. So please let me know my strengths and weakness in my writing style or other things. That is all.**


	8. Chapter 8

770 hours, 2 minutes and 4 seconds since the red wave of The Crucible washed over the galaxy and killed all synthetic life.

She was board. She was in room with a un-consensuses Shepard lying on one of the operating tables, all the while she fiddle with her private terminal, watching his vitals just in case something bad happened. She figured working to bring back savior of the galaxy to full health would be interesting. However for Doctor Portoa the task proved easy for her capabilities. Things of a medical nature hardly ever challenge Portoa anymore. That was what was expected from someone with over seven hundred years of medical experience.

She had thought he might be a challenge after hearing the description of his condition by the doctor with the huntresses who found him. But it seemed she over exaggerate about how bad he was. Her and her staff was able to get him in a stable condition in just over an hour, even if he was still in a coma. Although it was considerably easier with the fact the nano-bots had seemed to had stop most of the bleeding. Her team had stitched must of his cuts and laceration and applied castes on his broken forearms bones. Her assistants were currently clone skin and a kidney. They also had hooked him up to an oxygen machine due his own lungs not being strong enough to inhale. She and the quarians have been debating what to do about the lungs. She thought it would be better to give them time to heal or replace them with clone ones but the quarians insisted they could make new cybernetics lungs that would hundred percent more efficient.

She started to get annoyed by the quarians as soon they started "helping". It seemed to her that they were more interested in his cybernetics and recording their design then actually healing Shepard. The lead one, Ganus'Juva, was insistent they could help with bring him to full health again and would not go away like the human doctors who were easy to push aside. The quarians would come here scan the cybernetics and then run off to wherever. It's not like the cybernetics were not interesting but she was never was good with technology and machines. She preferred cloning and using chemical stimulants to get her results. However the quarians said it was an order from one their admiral to make sure Shepard gets back to his feet with quarian aid. Probably some sort of way of repaying Shepard for giving their home world back or saving their hides she guessed. So she gave them a part to play in the recovery. Stuff like replacing some of the deactivated cybernetics in his body or replacing them with new ones. But quarians had yet to deliver on their part of the project, not having made any cybernetics they agreed to do. They were making things more difficult than it had to be.

She remembered a time when surgery and healing people were exciting to her. It seemed so long ago. She would go to different planets, taking on cases that were sure to fail. But she never failed, no matter how grievous the injury or severe the pathogen.

Certain species were always harder than others to treat then others, krogan for instance. Krogan rarely needed a doctor as their regeneration can handle must physical injuries or they are to prideful to go. But when they do, it means something really bad is happening. For example sometimes a rare mutation happens that makes their regeneration go out of control, very much in the sense of cancer, making tumor like objects grow across their body. And surgery on krogans in general was very difficult because of the regeneration and the many duplicate organs. Sometimes when doing surgery the regeneration will kick in and start healing to cut you already made, making it race against time to finish before it heals. Or even worse the regeneration starts growing in the wrong spot or direction during surgery. An example of this was when you are doing open heart surgery, when one of the pectoralis major muscle fibers starts growing downward into the heart. Overall surgery on krogan can get confusing really quickly.

Another difficult species to treat are quarians. You had to get them out of their suits quickly, which is no easy task without destroying the suit. Then you have to give them immune system suppressers injections at a dozen different places so they do not have an allergic reaction to some of the chemicals used. However you have to be careful as using too much suppressers could permanently damage the immune system. Beside that it's like treating humans or asari.

It always amused her quarians and humans look so similar. Beside the different shaped pinna, the different number of fingers, the double jointed legs, the claws instead of feet, the cybernetics all over the body and the vertebra poking out of their skin and forming hard plate on top of the spine. Ignoring all of that, they look very similar.

Although they still had many more difference then that. Quarians have much better night vision because their eyes have a layer of tissue behind the retina. This layer of tissue reflects visible light through the retina, increasing the number of photoreceptors that can be used, like cats. However, unlike cats, to not lose focus of the image in day time, the tissue retracts back in a cavity below the eye. This makes it so during day time; their vision is equal to that of humans.

Human have a much better sense of smell then quarians too. Due to the fact that quarians have been living in suits for the past three hundred years; their sense of smell has diminish because of lack of use. As they used it less and less, the receptors ability to detect particles and report on them with positive or negative feedback has withered over time.

The majority of differences though are internal. Although each species brain has parts equivalent to each other and are similar in size; the places where the parts are is different. An example being the quarian equivalent to hypothalamus is more in the back upwards area of the brain. The digestive system in quarians is smaller in length, mainly to compensate for the large lungs. The respiratory system in quarians is more efficient due to air sacs at the back of the lungs. While the lungs exhale carbon dioxide, the air sacs pump new oxygen in the lungs while taking in more oxygen from the outside world. This means the lungs are always filled with oxygen, making quarians able to run and other strenuous activities for longer periods of time before becoming tired.

The organs that quarian use for the immune system are completely different and are located on lower back. And also the difference male gentiles, as quarians have cooler body temperatures so the testicles are inside the male's abdomen. Then there was quarian process of creating urine was different, even if end with same results. Overall a lot of the biological systems between the two species were different.

Lastly on a smaller level, quarians proteins are made of completely out of different molecules and are in different shapes. This can cause problems for both species if they mix their tissues with each other up. Quarians also use different chemicals for the base pairs in the genetic code then humans, who use thymine, guanine, adenine and cytosine for DNA. In total, in the molecular level quarians and humans are very different.

Doctor Portoa started to laugh and chuckle a little bit. It has been awhile since she reviewed the information and it made her feel good. She always loved biology and when she was not treating a patient she would often goes off on little tangents in her head about different kinds of information. Nothing was a challenge for her anymore; it all just came like instinct for her.

She quickly went check Shepard's vitals even though the machine used to monitor them would beep if they change. Only once did it beep during the last few days. In the last six hours Shepard had gone from being in a coma into a deep REM sleep. It was not problem as long he did not move, but it was very strange. Doctor Portoa then returned to her thoughts.

She wondered what the quarians do once they get back to their home world. They would probably start rebuilding. It was just she been around before the whole Morning War and miss those times. She been Rannoch a few times before the whole geth rebellion thing and she thought it was a pretty place. She loved the deserts during the night and jungles in valleys by day. Although what she missed the most was their fashion.

Back before the Morning war, several quarian styles of clothing became very popular outside the quarian species. Not to discredit their suits which are technological marvels but they are technological prisons.

Quarian fashion she remembered before the war very conservative by asari standards. They were mostly robes and dress that left lots to the imagination. However, due be more conservative, it left more space to put those wonderful patterns on. Portoa could stare at those patterns for hours because of how intricate and complicated they were. However they were practical as well beautiful. They were all made of these strange little fibers that would expand in cold and seal gaps between the weave, not letting warm air near your body out. In warm temperatures the fibers condense making gaps for cool air to rush in. Some of the even more expansive dresses had other cool things like a fire starter or a receiver for the extranet. Sadly the quarians hold the rights to the design very tightly, so no one could make more after the Morning War since the quarians stop making them afterwards. Now very few survive and ones out there were held by collectors jealously.

Beeping pierced her concentration on her thoughts. It perforated in her head with its suddenness. It snapped her to attention like a mouse trap. In a blur, she jumped to her console to review what was going on. She quickly looked at his vital and other information to try figure what the change was. His heart rate had increase. The blood flow spiked. Clusters of neurons in brain started to act up in his brain, ones associated with consensuses. Sensory neurons in the arms were showing pressure was being place on them.

She turned around to move towards table he was place on and see with her own eyes what could not be. As she turned on her heel, she froze and stumbled at what her vision perceived. There, on the table, Shepard had placed his right palm on table to push himself from laying down position to sitting up right with his back against the wall. His eyes were squinted and he had bewildered look on his face. He seemed to be just as surprised and confused as she was. She was not expecting him to wake up in another month at the least.

"Tali!" yelled Shepard with desperateness in his voice.

A realization came to her as he started bellowing who ever name that was. He was applying stress on his broken right forearm and his lungs were not ready for this kind of stress. The lungs barely worked when he was un-consensuses with an oxygen machine. This would be murder to those helpless lungs. She had to do something or he would ruin all her treatments already in place.

He had to go back to sleep now or else he might set back all her work and make it take longer to get him out of this med bay. She sprinted over to her one emergency brief case. It had pre made injection for all sort of medical emergency related to humans; she had other cases for other species lying around. She opened the case to find her syringes still neatly place in their foam casing. Her hands started to shake as read through the labels trying to find the tranquilizers. When she found it, she held it up with gusto. Then she responded to her call to action.

She came across to his left side and prepared to press the needle into his arm. She stopped to look at the poor man. He still did not realize where he was and was still crying out to whoever Tali might be. Then when she finally pressed the needle into his arm and injected the tranquilizer, his composure of a bumbling, confused man turn to that of aspect of death. His body glowed blue with aura of biotic strength. He turned his head and stared directly in to her eyes. No longer were they tired and puzzled but instead red with the fires of hate and anger, wishing to end this aggressor in front of him.

She was now panicking and afraid. She never bothered to train for combat or defended herself. It always seemed a waste of time when compared to all secrets of the body and flesh. That was until now. She had heard the stories of his combat prowess and knew that he could end her life right now.

Then the tranquilizers finally started to take effect on Shepard as the aura depleted and his bellicose filled gaze fell into sleep. She leaned against the wall and thanked the goddess. Her mind now a mess with thoughts such as what to do and how close that was. After ten minutes or so, she finally calmed down.

Due to fact he was able to wake up might mean he is in better condition she thought. She might be able to let him wake up if he was in better condition and did not wake so suddenly. She decided that it would be best to do some scans to figure out what state he is in. It would only take a few minutes she thought.

After she did her scan, she decided he could be let back into a wake state of mind as soon as they finish with his lungs. Currently they can only supply with just enough oxygen in his un-consensuses. So if they could replace or fix them, his body might just be able handle being awake again.

She reached out for the earpiece the Hackett gave to her if she needed contact him. But before she sent press activation she came to the conclusion that he did not need to be informed until she made some real progress or hit a serious complication. She thought about contact her own team who were busy growing other organs Shepard need. However, even if she did have requested for a pair lungs to be cloned, it would be a while for them to be complete, several day perhaps. Then she figured she might as well ask Ganus'Juva if he had anything prepared. She made a few quick pecks at her omni-tool and started the call over a video chat.

"Ah, Doctor Portoa, just as I was thinking of sleep. What do I own the pleasure." sarcastically said by Ganus'Juva.

"We might have are disagreements but I need you to listen. Shepard has waked and…" uttered Portoa before being interrupted.

"What I thought he was supposed to in coma for another month or so." yapped the surprised Ganus'Juva.

"If you let me finish I would have said I have already sedated him, so that will not be a problem. What I do think is he ready to be awake again once we fix hi lungs and I was wondering…" finished Portoa before being interrupter again by Ganus'Juva.

"Oh, my team had just finished the final testing of out new cybernetics lungs but I found them disappointing so I was going to have scraped."

"Why were going to scrap them?" asked Portoa.

"They would work but they only meet the standard. I want excellence!" yelled Ganus'Juva.

"By the time it takes you make your "perfect lungs" I could probably clone a dozen pair"

"But flesh is weak and gives out and fails over time. Metal and machine would work so much better"

"Shepard did not volunteer to be you experiment. I am sure that he would want back in action as soon as possible, as long as his new lungs meet the standard. And if Hackett figures out you have been delaying the recovery of the Alliance's hero, he will kick you and you team out the nearest air lock. Then you would fail the orders of your precious admiral. You would not want fail him or her and be an insult to your people." Vocalized Portoa as she wondered where this crazy man came from.

"Speak with respect when talking about Admiral Xen and fine you will get your damn lungs" shouted Ganus'Juva as if he had been personally attacked. In his mind wondering where this lazy, worthless asari came from.

"How about in twelve hours you and your team come down and do some operating. Implant those lovely lungs of yours. Would you kindly?" now taunting the defeated quarian was Doctor Portoa.

"You will get what you want, bosh'tet" answered Ganus'Juva grudgingly before ending the call and finding some place to get some rest.

"How come everyone has to resist me, do they not see I speak with wisdom" thought Portoa as she went back over to her chair. It was those chairs with wheels on the bottom that rotated. It had a very large back rest that had a lot of cushioning. She had been using that for sleep when she took in a patient important as this, she never left their side. Too many things could go wrong while she was gone. She just preferred to watch over everything. Know every detail and mange them to make a solution. That's what any good doctor did she thought. As she sat back down, she let sleep consume her.


	9. Chapter 9

**Brief apology for being late, sorry.**

782 hours, 34 minutes and 29 seconds since the red wave of The Crucible washed over the galaxy and killed all synthetic life.

Life was bubbling outside the med bay window, like it usually was. However it was different now than it was before. Instead of the normal smiling face, the bouts of joy, and pleasant conversation over a meal found in crew deck; it was filled with people industrially marching about with tools and data pads in hand with morbid faces plastered on. It was like when they were retrofitting the Normandy but with the stench of melancholy in the air. Not a single person was smiling and the only words being spoken were orders from unfamiliar mouths.

It was disheartening for Doctor Chakwas to see the crew of the Normandy like this. They were often a livelier bunch with the crew deck being the center of fellowship. She had served on many ships, but the crew of the Normandy always seemed to have more character and life to them. Most ships crews were often close but the Normandy seemed to have a special power of bringing people close. Even the lonely ensign felt like he was part of something big here. It was like anyone who stayed on the Normandy for a long enough time became a part of a family, bond together by duty and strife. People came to handle to most dangerous missions and protect galaxy, but at the end of mission, you would come out with life time friends.

Family did seem like a proper word to describe the crew. Many of the way people behaved here made her reminisce of different family members. People like Kenneth Donnelly reminded her of teenagers with the way the carried their enthusiasm and youth around like a badge of honor. Adams is like a father to the engineers in the way he watches over them. Garrus has sort of taken the role of the older uncle who was always telling stories. She could also see how people might see her as a mother figure because of her age and the fact she always reminding members of the crew. And just like a family they grieve for the lost of their own.

Shepard was always the glue that kept the crew together. He gave the crew purpose, a reason for being here. Without him people seemed to drift off. It remind her too well of how they drifted apart when both the binding elements died, Shepard and the original Normandy. Except now they could not drift apart because they were stuck on some planet and had to rely on each other to get out of here. That and they still had the Normandy holding them together.

Yet even as the crew and the ship changed, her med bay seemed to stay just the same. Most of the time she was alone here as the crew of the Normandy was rarely injured except for the ground crew and half of them are too proud or stubborn to stay. However she was not alone right now. When the Normandy crashed landed, a few people just some injuries and had to stay med bay for a time. All of them were gone now though and the only one left was Joker. Joker was shaken quite a lot and had several bone fractures because of his condition. So Joker was still here and he was always asleep or trying to. Really things were almost back to normal in the med bay except she could just turn around and tell Joker to take his medicine instead of emailing reminders.

Chakwas swiveled in her chair to look at Joker to see what he was doing. He was on his back with his eyes close, although she could tell he was not sleeping by speed of which he was breathing. Most of the original injuries had healed so only a few casts were left. She reckons that the remaining bones would be done healing in two or three days. Then he could walk back up to his precious cockpit.

He was like this all the time now. Just sleeping and when he was not asleep, he was pretending to be asleep. He had gone a whole month now without making some sort of shot at a joke or a snarky remark. He did not need to be asleep because she never put him under any sort of sedative except for the original placing of the casts. It was obvious to her and probably everyone else that he was just trying to avoid people and not talk about what happened. He was trying to avoid the pain.

Several people came down to try to comfort him or encourage him to get back in to normal. However he would quickly shoo them away with a tired excuse, saying things like I am tired and don't quite feel like talking. Sometimes he would simply not respond to the person and wait for them to go away. Almost everyone came and tried to talk to him but none of them ever pushed him after seeing Tali going into a work frenzy after the memorial wall incident. The only one who seemed to get past his excuses and get to the real problem was herself. Sadly when she got to the real problem, he got mean and angry. He lashed out and buried his head deeper in the sand of woe. However he did that only after saying something like this "You do not understand you old crone, you do not know what it feels to have your love taken away. You never love anyone or gotten close to them. You said it yourself. "My husband is the Alliance and you are all my children" you say. So why don't you just live me alone and let me deal with it. I do not need you to deal with my problems. Just because I have this damn disease does not mean you have to baby me. So just go away" After saying that he tried to limp out of the med bay but slip and broke some of his bones again.

After that she did not try again. It angered her to think of that argument right now. It made her blood rush around her body and boil. It made her skin itch with aggression. For him to be as bold as to say such a thing, he was very angry at the time and probably was not thinking right. But still to say something so insensitive was just so unlike him, unless he was doing it for the purpose of a bad joke. It drove her nuts he that he said that. It was just so untrue.

No one her age got to where she was without feeling lose and heart break. She had had tried many time to find love but it just never ended up right. She was just too free spirit for most men. Most men want eventually settle down and have kids on some planet, but not her, she did not want any of the sort. Most of her attempts ended quickly though, something would come up and things would just fall apart. And when she did find someone just for her, they had to go off and get killed on some god forsaken planet.

God it seemed like such long time ago, long enough that the details had unraveled into the forgotten parts in her mind. Lionel Johnson was his name. He was a brilliant combat engineer who the captain of the ship always took him on every mission. His friendship with the captain did a lot good for her. He just had to sacrifice himself to save the captain from some sniper, a shot directly through the brain. Why did he have to die she asked herself back then. Why did such a handsome, charismatic, loving and smart man have to go and get himself killed? Was her love for him not a strong enough of a motivator to come back? Was there something she could have done to save him? She tore herself apart with these questions for a long time. Though she eventually got over it and realized that there was nothing she could have done, that things sometimes just happen, whether they are fair or not. And most importantly that he would never want her to be a sad, pitiful mess and that she had to go one to honor his memory.

Chakwas guess that maybe it was just best to let him figure it out himself, he would eventually. It just hurt to see him like that, curled up on his little bed, trying to ignore the pain that comes from having a part of you taken away. Of having just having the spirit and life kicked out of you without being touched. It was just pitiful husk compared to his normal waggish self.

She was always closer to Joker then any of the other crew. He was like the son she never had. In the way he was always looking to prove himself with seemingly boyish maturity but just enough angst to be like a teenager. She would always have to remind him to take his medicine and he would always come up with some comedic or witty excuse.

If you were to tell her several months ago the Joker would get into a romantic relationship with his ships artificial intelligence she would have laugh you off the Normandy. But her were the results before her, like any other young relationship were the other half is taken too soon. She was always speculative about the relationship and she really did not believe in it at first until Joker started asking her interesting questions about certain kinds of pills. Even after that she could not help but look at it in doubt. She figured the EDI was doing some sort of experiment or something, trying to improve efficiency or something. How could a program feel such an organic emotion such as love she thought? So she doubt EDI sincerity to the so called relationship but it did seem to do some good for Joker. He was so much happier it seemed and most men seemed to fight harder when they got something to live for something, like love. And it was not like EDI could be killed very easily. It's not like you could just shot her she was inside a military craft. She could not get sick and die, EDI was a program and a complicated one at that. It would seem it would take the sudden destruction of the Normandy to kill her and in that case Joker would most likely die too because he was the Normandy's pilot and he rarely left the Normandy. It seemed to be perfect for Joker. However tragedy always does seem to come when things appear to be perfect.

But that was their lives, was it not. Running and gunning, always skirting away from danger and escaping barely from the cold clutches of death, righting the wrongs of the galaxy. Sadly the consequences of this life style were that once in a while, someone would get left behind in the chilling grasp of death; sometimes someone dear would fall behind. It was the reason they had the memorial wall right in front of the elevator, so everyone can see and remember those who fell behind and were caught.

Chakwas sighed and turn back to her window to see if anything uplifting happened when her attention was away. Hoping maybe someone would visit her and distract her from these heavyhearted and dismal thoughts. Surveying back and forth it seemed people had cleared out of mess hall, leaving it desolate. A barren waste land, were life was once plentiful and joyful. Could anything make this moment feel more morbid and lonesome?

Just as she was about to return to those ever depressing thoughts, she heard her med bay door open. She turned around to see what kind of angel had come to deliver her from these most melancholic thoughts. It was Kaidan Alenko standing at the edge of the door with his hand against his head, most likely suffering from one of his usual mind grains. He was in his standard crew uniform.

"Hey, doc, could I get a double dose of my usual pain killers, this headache hurts more than usual" said Kaidan with anguish sited on his face. If Joker was like a troublesome son to her, Kaidan was like the older brother who had grown up to be proud, responsible adult.

"Kaidan, you know it's never good to just suddenly change the dose, but please do come in. Those headaches are often stress related, so maybe if you sat down and talked about what's got you worked up, maybe that will relieve a bit of the headache. That and the usual pain medicine." Suggested Chakwas as she reached over for Kaidan's pain medicine she kept on her desk and not in the usual drug cabinet because of the frequency of his headaches. It was also because his doses were bigger than that of normal people because of his biotics and if anyone without biotics tried to take them, they would at least feel numbness all over their body.

"Well, I could use a sanity check. Things have been busy. It would seem the crew has elected me commanding officer" stated Kaidan as he swiftly swooped up a chair and sat beside Chakwas

"You should have expected that considering your now the highest ranking officer on the ship" confirmed Chakwas as she placed some of his medicine into her hand and offered it to him with outstretched arm.

"I know, but it's not the same as other times I have been given command. Normally everyone just reports to you and you give your orders. But it's different than before" Affirmed Kaidan after he took her offering and swallowed it loudly with one gulp.

"How is it different?" questioned Chakwas as she put one arm under her breast and rest her chin on the knuckles of her other arm.

"When we first crashed we were all confused, stumbling around not knowing what to do. I was just as bewildered as everyone else, not knowing what had happen. But one by one ensigns and lowers came up to me asking what they should do. At first I did not know what to say, so I told them to go do some minor activity like check up on the whatever. Now it has turned into me commanding most of the crew" expressed Kaidan as he lean back in his chair, waiting for the euphoria of pain relief to come in.

"Kaidan you are now the commanding officer of this ship now and it's your job to lead these men and women. I do not get it; you have been in command before. Why is this any different?" inquired Chakwas, now leaning forward and listing with great interest.

"I think the reason they are coming to me is not because they reporting to their commanding officer, but because they are wanting another Shepard" Kaidan propositioned, still waiting for relief. He also was now taking deeper breath as if to calm himself.

"Kaidan, that is just silly. Everyone realizes that you and Shepard are two very different beings. You're being unfair to yourself by trying to compare yourself to him. People are coming to you because you are now their commanding officer. They might had been slow at first because of the whiplash of thinking they lost Shepard but now most of them have come to their senses and are eager to work" reassured Chakwas, now leaning back as she went into the throws of chuckling. How absurd she thought.

"I don't know, I thought it made sense. It's the reason I am a specter. Udina wanted another Shepard for himself, so I guess he figured I would be a good choice because I served with him. I guess he figured some of his skills would have rubbed off on me" presented Kaidan. He was now closing his eyes, trying to focus.

"Kaidan, you were selected to become a specter because you are some of the best humanity has to offer. You did not rise to major because of Shepard. People do not get on Shepard's ground team unless they are exceptional individuals in their own right. It was your abilities that got you your position" Chakwas said with resolve, pressing a finger into his chest to get his full attention.

"It's not only that. I do not want to go through the rest of life be compared to him, having to be hunkered under his shadow in other people's eyes. I do not want to be known as that guy that served with Shepard. I want people to just see me as Kaidan, a guy lucky enough to serve with Shepard. I just do not want to have measure up to him for the rest of my life. I could never replace him. I could never achieve what he has done and I am nothing like him. Just look in the way we fight. We are both Alliance sentinels so you figure we fight the same, but no I stay in the back providing support for the team while Shepard runs forward like a tank blasting everything that moves with his shotgun. And another reason is by the fact I just don't get Shepard. He can be the nicest guy to be around at times but turns into a cold, bellicose killer at others. I just cannot be like him!" uttered Kaidan, now agitated and animated. He was leaning forward now and using hand gestures constantly to express himself.

"There may be some people who do try to compare you to Shepard, Kaidan, but there is one thing any good commanding officer does that makes all those people wrong. Do you want what it is, Kaidan?" said Chakwas. Her voice was now turning dark and serious, seething with assurance in her belief.

"Sure, I am all ears" reply Kaidan. He was on the edge of his seat, waiting in anticipation for the next statement.

"They take responsibility for their actions. They accept their duty and see to it how they see fit, not caring what others think because they know at the time they were right. At the moment when they make a hard decision that may be questionable, they pick whatever will help them in succeeding in their duty and by making those choices it becomes a part of them, shapes them into who they are. It's alright to aspire to someone for guidance but at the end of the day, whether the mission is success or a failure, as long you take responsibility for whatever happened, you prove that you are your own man. Only the foolish and the ignorant can say you're just a lame replacement for another" Chakwas expressed with fury and utter confidence in her statement.

Kaidan let out a chuckle, the kind of chuckle you let out when realize how stupid you have been. Then Kaidan let out of his lips "and again as always I have to be given a pep talk and you always know what you're talking about"

"Of course I know what I am talking about. I would not have gotten this far so well if I didn't. Always listen to your elders, Kaidan" voiced Chakwas with a smirk. Several moments of pregnant tension filled silence filled the time before both parties burst into laughter. Tipping back into their chairs before relaxing and leaning back into their chairs, letting a now calm, tranquil silence take over.

Then something came into Chakwas mind, an interesting question that nibbled for her attention, demanding an answer.

"Kaidan, I could of swore you said you could never replace Shepard. Do you think Shepard is dead?" inquired Chakwas, now looking at Kaidan through the side of her vision.

"I guess so, I mean Garrus seems to think so and he was one of the last people with him. You might not have seen it but there looked to be a large explosion at the Crucible and there was that strange wave too. It just seems unlikely to me he could have survived that" said Kaidan, who was leaning back with his eyes close, missing the silence already.

"Hmmm, Shepard is filled with surprises, so I won't give credence to idea he is dead until a body is produced. It does not matter now anyway, just was curious". Chakwas paused and sit herself up strait before saying "Speaking of Garrus, how has the ground team been, they have not given you trouble or anything; have they?"

"James is trying to help the best he can. I have him organizing a hunt so we will have our ration if we have to fly back. I have no idea what Javik is doing. Garrus and Liara have locked themselves away and have not talked to me much. And Tali, oh my god Tali, she has lost it. I figure having her put the plaque on the wall would have helped but she instead has snapped" answered Kaidan. His expression on his face turned to pain when he mentioned Tali.

"Why, what has happened to Tali?" exclaimed Chakwas

"She has become the unspoken ruler of the Normandy. She is rushing all over place, fixing all the problems in the Normandy. She does not take breaks, sleeps maybe an hour at most and has Kenneth get her food; she does not stop to eat the food either, just keeps working. And to add to it all, she has apparently gotten everyone's records and has emailed direction on fixing the Normandy to anyone who has any technical knowledge. She has even sent me an email telling me I should be fixing some thermal piping. And the craziest thing about this is that most people who get her emails start following her directions. I never thought I would see the day when Tali would be ordering Garrus around by email. That's not all that's wrong either, I went to Adams to see what he thought and he told me that she is making mistakes she has never made before. He also told me this plan of hers to get the Normandy flying again looks very dangerous and questionable. She has gone mad" snapped Kaidan. Words were now pouring out of his mouth like a broken dam. He started to wave his arm to empathize his points. His eyes were now turning big with energy and his body again moving to the edge of the chair.

Chakwas was shocked to hear this. Tali always seemed like such nice girl, who had matured a great deal during their adventures with Shepard. She still remembered when she came down and asked questions about human relationships. She was so nervous back then. Chakwas figured this time without Shepard would be tough on her but she would have never guess this would happen.

Chakwas did not know what to say. On one side of her brain it told her that people in mourning do not listen rationally to people and they generally figured things out and move on their own. However, this was different then other times. Other times like when her or even now with Joker were mourning, they only posed a minor threat to themselves. It sounded like Tali was not only going to kill herself with work but might kill everyone else with carelessness. It then became clear something had to happen. Someone would have to calm her down, talk to her.

"Kaidan, as commanding officer of the Normandy you are responsible for this ship and its crew, Tali is a part of that crew too. You have to go talk to her and make sure she is ready to serve. Anderson and Shepard both made sure their crew were ready before something happened. You can learn from their examples" explained Chakwas, giving Kaidan a disappointing look.

"It is not like I have not tried. She does not respond to emails or calls. Me and Garrus tried to talked to her after the incident at the memorial wall but she is always seems to just disappear" elucidated Kaidan.

"Huh, it seems all that time hanging with Kasumi did her well besides getting a new friend" whispered Chakwas, with Kaidan not seemly noticing she said anything.

"The only person who has actually talked to Tali, face to mask, is Adams. But he said she started yelling about how she had to go back to her people and she was doing this for us. Then she ran off Adams said. I personally don't believe it. It was after dropping Shepard's plaque did she go crazy, so it has to be Shepard" expounded Kaidan.

"Good, now use that. Go find her and talk to her. It is your duty not only as a commanding officer but as a friend. I am proud to cherish every one of you and I am sure Tali see it the same way" stated Chakwas, leaning back in her chair with a face of satisfaction for her answer.

"I am not so sure about that, I mean me and Tali have never really been that close. But you are right; I do need to talk to her. It's just the trouble is finding her" retorted Kaidan who was now getting up from his chair.

"I am sure you will find a way, Kaidan" answered Chakwas, still leaning back in her chair with a smirk.

"Thanks for the talk and all. It was very nice just to talk. I should go now" replied Kaidan as he walked backwards out the med bay.

For a time Chakwas just sat there, enjoying the company even after it was gone. Then it returned to her again. She was alone or might as well be. Maybe reading would get her mind off things she thought as she looked up a digital medical journal from her private terminal.

Were could she be he wondered. She has come through here at some point he thought. Kaidan had spent the last two hours waiting in engineering hoping Tali would walk by so he could talked to her. He spent the hour before making sure everyone was preoccupied and would not bother him while he waited. He had thought out his argument and figured instead of chasing after her around the ship, he could wait at a spot he knew she would come too eventually and ambush her with a question. Then he could try get to his point and hopefully come her down. At least that's was his plan. He has been down here for two hours and was starting to doubt his own plan.

It was strange being down here for him. He rarely visited engineering so it felt all new to him. What made it stranger still was Adam and that couple whose names he could not remember at the moment were gone. It seemed so lifeless down here.

Maybe, he thought there would be something to keep himself occupied on one of these terminals. He strolled over to the terminal on the left side drive core entrance. He took one look at the keys and noticed that they were not in English. The words were all replaced with curly lines with dots on them. It kind of look like Arabic he thought. He did not think anyone one on the engineering crew spoke Arabic so he guessed this was Keelish and this was Tali's terminal. So this is what Keelish looked like, he found it elegant and appealing to look at. It seemed what he guessed were words were all just one line that curled around and twisted about with the occasional dot mixed in. It occurred to him then that this would be the best place to wait for Tali; she would not leave her terminal for long, would she?

He turned around and leaned against Tali's terminal and opened up his omni-tool. He decided he would fiddle with it while he waited. He checked all the applications and checked if there was any way to improve them. His overload application seemed to be at full capacity. Cyro tech was fully upgraded. Kaidan then started to get a little frustrated by the fact he could not find a good way to pass the time. He sighed in contempt with his situation right now.

Then he heard what he must been someone storming down to engineering. The person could not have been too heavy as the steps were not overly loud. The doors at the other side of the room open with a hiss and lithe purple figure came through at a furious pace.

"Hello Tali, I had some questions about some of these order you sent" piped Kaidan, raising his arm up like a child with a question.

"You never have followed my directions before and I am busy. Go ask Garrus if you have questions; I sent him similar orders as yours" said Tali begrudgingly. She kept on her course and push Kaidan aside to get access to her terminal.

"Stop Tali, now" uttered Kaidan in a frustrated tone that was laced with agitation of Tali's attitude. He reached out and grabbed her arm out reflex to make her stop.

There was a moment of silence now as Tali froze and then turned her head to face Kaidan. Kaidan tried to look through the mask to see what her expression was but could not. It unnerved him to see her body now filled with tension but not able to see her face. He wondered if he overreached his place.

"Tali I need you to slow down, everyone is worried about you and we do not want you to overwork yourself" said Kaidan, now trying to portray sincerity in his voice.

"Kaidan you may not have realized but I am an admiral now, my people need me to get back as fast as possi…" retorted Tali with ice and venom before getting interpreted.

"Do not tell me you're doing this for your people or your doing this for us. It's obvious you're doing this because of Shepard" interrupted Kaidan with agitation in his voice.

"Kaidan, I just trying to get us all out of here as…" reasoned Tali, her stance still stiff with tension.

"I know it's because of Shepard your running around trying to fix everything due to reason you started doing this right after we tried to make you put his name on the wall. Now, Shepard is in either two kinds of condition, he is either dead or…" interrupted Kaidan, now letting go of Tali's arm and stepping back. His voice returned to calmer tone, trying to appeal to Tali now rather than bludgeon her with his reasons.

"He is not dead, I can feel it" yelled Tali, who was now fully turned towards Kaidan and seemly ready to attack.

"I am sorry Tali for applying that but still even if he is alive, he would not want see you like this. You're hurting yourself by doing this and you're making mistakes. If you can feel he is still alive than I am sure he can feel your alive too. We all know how close you two were, hell you made me stand through that horrible flirting and I am sure he will wait forever long it takes for you to get back to him, as long as you're in one piece. He loves you and would hate to see you like this. And I am sure your people will welcome you back no matter how long it takes, you're a hero to them Tali. All I am asking is you to do is slow down, take breaks and get proper sleep. Also maybe do not boss around people as much. Things will be fine Tali if slow down" reassured Kaidan; now regain his composure as his calm, cool headed self.

Tali back down then. Her head now tilted forward, looking at the ground. Her hand assumed their place in front of her his, twirling amongst each other. "You really think he is alright" timidly responded Tali.

He stopped for a moment to consider his answer. He himself found it hard to believe Shepard could be still alive. But he realized that saying his real opinion might be unwanted. It was not a lie if he himself did not know. "I am sure if you can sense him then he must be alive" assured Kaidan.

"I guess you're right. It is just that I want see him so much" she took a deep breath before continuing. "I feel so tired now. Is there any pod or beds for me to sleep?" uttered Tali with the occasional pause between her words. Tali's stance then started to relax.

"I don't know honestly, there is usually a spare on the crew deck" told Kaidan.

"I guess I will see you later, maybe I will have drink before sleep" whispered Tali while she was leaving engineering. Kaidan did not hear the last part.

Kaidan sighed before leaning on the terminal again. He felt tired himself, maybe from raising his voice. He pondered on that. He never got angry. Why did he lash out the beginning there? Maybe being stranded on this planet was getting to him or maybe some of that Shepard aggression rubbed off on him after all. He chuckled at the thought. That was not how he planned for that to go. But it seemed to work out in the end, didn't it? He decided then he too could use some sleep and went back up to the crew deck.

**Author****'S Note: I find it strange how much they leave of Chakwas's life blank, so I filled in some gaps. Also still not satisfied with the last part. So this chapter will probably be edited later.  
**


	10. Chapter 10

784 hours, 24 minutes and 13 seconds since the red wave of The Crucible washed over the galaxy and killed all synthetic life.

White piercing light scorched his eye, blinding him for a period of time. The discomfort of the light made him curse life. The impaling light sent signals of pain from his eye to his brain, which told him that the light was something that needed to be destroyed. The pain began to ease away as his eyes became accustomed light. The wall of white faded, showing the world above him. Grey depressing metal ceiling crept into his perception, no shine or glimmer to inspire awe that some precious metal do. This ceiling was weathered and scratched. It had been through countless use but it was unusually clean. No dirt, grim or taint of other substance. He came to the conclusion that ceiling must belong to space ship. The decontamination units commonly emplaced on ships made bringing in of foreign material minimal, such as dirt, impossible. So by the fact he was in what look especially clean ceiling meant he was in a ship or a maybe clinic surgical wing. Upon this realization it made sense he would be in a surgical wing. He remembered being in lots of pain beforehand, pain due to heavy injuries, injuries due being hit by that laser; a laser from Harbinger. And before that there was weeping, though not from his eyes. Someone else was crying, but who he asked himself. The answer came like lightning to him, instantaneous. It was Tali she was calling for him to come back. He still had a promise to fulfill.

What proceeded in Rioul Shepard's mind was like a floodgate opening, letting in a sea of questions. Where was he? Normally when he was injured he would be in the Normandy's med-bay. This was not the Normandy's med-bay. He had been there so many times he could recognize the ceiling from anywhere. So if he was not in the Normandy, then where is here and what was the quickest way to get to the Normandy? Who were people he needed to talk to make it happen? Had they even won? Were the other species all right? Where were all his friends? He need answers to these questions like man needs water.

He then, in the need to answer his questions, began to sit up, but his left arm did not seem to work. Thenceforth he closed his eyes and ignored the pain in his right arm, successfully able to prop himself against the wall behind him. When he opened his eyes again, the sight before him almost surprised him. He saw what look like ten or so asari in white uniforms. The uniforms had minor differences between individuals but were mostly the same. There seemed to be variety of ages amongst them, some looked as old as Liara. However the one in the front, standing a step ahead of her peers looked like Benezia except more purple and less generous womanly features. He guessed she was the leader or something because she stood in front and she portrayed a combination of arrogance and experience. By the white uniforms he guessed maybe they were doctors.

To his left it appeared easily a dozen or more quarians stood at attentions with their chests puffed out. They all wore the same kind of environmental suit except there was rainbow of colors to choose from here between them. No indicator on who they are except by their sexual dimorphism telling what gender they were, although, like the asari, there was what appeared to be a leader standing at the front of the group. He wore an orange suit that appeared to be an older model as it was more bulky and less form fitting. He definitively showed his age by the apparent patchwork all over the suit. He was also shorter than average male quarian, maybe five, four guessed Shepard. However behind that polarized visor his eyes showed a great amount of vigor and enthusiasm. His eyes remind him of Tali's. His heart began to ache at the thought of her alone. Before he could dwell on the thought for long, a voice cut his attention.

"Good to see you awake, Commander" said the asari who remind him of Benezia. Shepard attention snapped towards the new speaker, his fiery gaze now focused on asari. He recognized her now. When he first woke after the dream, she was the one few knocked him backed out, who denied him of perusing his promise, of achieving his own personal mission. Most who stand in the way of him and his objective end up dead, "but it is always foolish to act unless one understands the situation" thought Shepard. That was something Shepard had learned over his extensive military career. Without proper intelligence you are always likely to end up making things go FUBAR, like Torfan. He decided to hear what the doctor had to say.

"Admiral Hackett will be down soon, but first I wanted to ask some questions to judge your condition. By the way I am Doctor Portoa. So tell me what you feel physically?" asked the Portoa. Shepard did not like her; he could sense the fake sincerity, the arrogance and all around superiority complex this creature had. He had to get good a judging people by first encounters for his job and this woman set him off the wrong way. However if Hackett was here, then he guess he should not use biotic throw to try remove the smugness from her persona. So again he decided to submit to her game.

He could not feel his left arm and when he looked down to expect himself, he saw what look like a ceramic coating tightly fixed to his skin that went from his chest always down to the midpoint of his thighs. He recognized what it was; it is a special coating they place on heavily burned parts of the body, where the skin had been burned away. It was meant to prevent infection but also stop the skin from healing too much and forming scar tissue, for vat grown skin to be grown and be grafted for the new skin later. He also noticed right foot was gone but this did not surprise him too much, it was not like it hurt or anything. He figured something like this would happen someday. "I have been better" he finally responded.

"It is good to see you are not to stress about your current predicament, but do you remember why you're here. Our scans did not show a terrible amount of damage to your brain but we want make sure you still have your memory" told Portoa, her face still stoic and voice showing no emotion or care.

"I was shot by Reaper which I have been fighting for the past three years, but only now have I had the help of the rest of the galaxy, which I had to drag their behinds to get into this fight. That sounds about right to me" answered Shepard sarcastically with a smirk.

"I highly doubt that's how the rest of the galaxy sees it, but this tells me that your higher cognitive functions are working. Now…" the witch was not able to finish her question as someone more respectable in Shepard's eyes came barging in with two body guards.

"Doctor Portoa, Ganus'Juva could you both remove yourselves and your crews. Shepard at ease" ordered Hackett while storming over to the foot of Shepard's surgical slab. The quarian and the doctor tried to interject their disapproval, but quick glare from Hackett hushed any resistance. They removed themselves and Hackett made a quick gesture with his hand, telling his guards to wait outside.

"Commander at ease, I am just confirming with my own eyes that it's you. Things are not ideal right now and I just had to confirm this good news for myself" uttered Hackett while he took his place at the foot of the slab, standing firm and stoically, creating an aura of authority.

Shepard looked to the admiral and saw that his uniform had obviously seen better days. Yet his face seem unchanged from all the other times he called him up to give orders or receive a report. It was still the wall for which on lookers would be confused by as they try to look in his head, to see what he felt. But everything about his body posture gave out authority and nothing else. Not despair, anger or confidence, just the raw ability to command effectively.

Shepard had to utmost respect for Hackett and would have treated him as his superior officer in any other situation, but this was different. His ship and crew were all he had. He had devoted so much time with them and had built most his idea of a future with them. His love was there and if the Reapers were dead, then his primary objective would be to go build that house. He needed to know, as the very things preventing him from just becoming killer were now endangered. So in his mind, the idea of chain of command and rank died as his very soul felt threatened. In a tone of bitter anger, Shepard let slip from his mouth "Where is my ship?"

"Commander, the Normandy and her crew are currently MIA. When you primed the Crucible, I had every ship exit to one destination just outside the Sol system, but It would seem the Normandy and her crew went off course and have gone to who knows where. We have…" Hackett was not able to finish what he was saying before Shepard made an impulsive protest.

"How could you have just lost the most prized ship in the Alliance? How could you lose possibly the most elite crew known to man? How could you lose my ship?" Thoughts in Shepard's head were bouncing around making his head throb. Nothing made sense, how could have this all happened. His crew were not incompetent to accidently not follow the other ships. They must have purposely disobeyed orders to get separated. But they would not do that, would they?

"Commander, we have made multiple attempts to communicate with them. We have tried the quantum communicator, the FTL comm link, even messaging their personal accounts. Nothing has worked and I can't just launch a search party as of now. We are in a vulnerable position of a now that we are locked in the system because the mass relays have been disabled; all of them have been disabled. Which brings me to what I wanted to ask you, some of our scientist are trying to figure out what happened at the Crucible, but they can't because everything there seems to have been destroyed in an explosion, so I ask you on their part, what happened at the Crucible" answered Hackett, still unmoved due to his experience.

"How should I answer" thought Shepard in his head. For once he did not know what to say. Usually it was obvious to what he need to say and what he needed to do, but know he was not sure. He did not want to think about what had gone up there, what he had to do. It made his blood rush through his body and heat up. Usually when there was a tragedy there was someone to blame, someone to punish. But he had nobody, there was nothing he could have done or at least that what he tried to tell himself. But because of what he did people were most surely suffering from the fact the Citadel is gone, the mass relays are disabled and the geth were gone. How could they understand that's what he had to do? And even if his crew were still alive, which he was sure of, and then Joker would hate him for ever do to it being his fault now that EDI was most likely dead. That's what he would do if Joker had somehow killed Tali. Actually he would most likely kill Joker, but it is all but impossible for Joker to kill him, so that only left hate. Anyways Joker would have done the same in position similar to his, right?

He did not know and he was tired of trying to figure all this out. But they did not need to know, did they. If anyone else had gone up there, they would have done the same. So then everyone else did not need to know the other option as there was no chance of them ever happening. Once you pick one option the others cease to exist, like as if they were never there to begin with. At this conclusion Shepard knew what he had to say. But thinking about it made him feel wrong, so he looked down while he spoke.

"When I got to the beam, it took me to some strange place I never seen on the Citadel. There was little light except some red lights. There were bodies everywhere, mush together and piled on top of each other. There was blood all over the floor and it smelled awful and strange, like a combination of rotting flesh, ozone and vitamins. The keepers were there, poking at the corpses. Then Anderson calls me on my radio. He says he followed me but did not end up in the same place. I start to walk but I don't know where I was going, but there was only on exit to the room I was in, so I went that way. I hobble for a while and then I noticed the wall started changing, but I was too tired and they were not changing my path so I didn't bother to inspect them. Eventually I got to a room with great view of the Citadel and Earth, I figure it was on the Presidium Tower. I see Anderson there to and behind him some sort of console, but he did nothing. Then the Illusive Man appears with a lot this Reaper tech covering him. It seemed he was indoctrinated. We talked but it was pointless. He shot Anderson and I shot him. I saw them both die. I think I took a shot at some point as I was bleeding a lot and just breaking on the edge of unconsciousness. By the time I got to the console my vision was blurry, so I just started hitting switches and buttons. When Crucible had landed I just could not keep it up anymore and I pressed few buttons and fell down and unconscious. Next thing I remembered is waking up here."Shepard still was looking down, the weight of the moment bearing down on his shoulders and head.

Hackett took a few moments to taking everything he had just heard in before responding. "We have found Anderson body, but there has been no mention Illusive Man's. And it seems you don't know what happened there either. That really does not matter but many would like to know why the Crucible has taken out the mass relays and the geth" Hackett took a moment before continuing. "Commander, it's an order that you rest and …"

"Hackett give me a ship and crew so I can go looking for my own. I need to find the Normandy. I assure you I can do it quickly and efficiently" interrupted Shepard, now looking like he was going jump off the table. Shepard sure felt like he was going to jump out of his skin, every fiber in his being told him to get up, to find his friends and his love.

"Sorry Shepard I can't do that. I need all the ship I have now to try rebuild what we lost and the other races are all upset that they cannot go home, especially the quarians. Food is low; fuel is low and moral low. Everyone is at each other throats and barely tolerating each other. Between the krogans and mercs, I am having a hard time keeping the peace here. So Shepard I can do nothing to help you and for you to go out and search would cause stress that might undo the progress we have done to try heal you. Everyone wants to see you make a full recovery, there actually been a lot of mail people want deliver to you and some people have requested to see you but I have denied them for now. Just tell me what I can do to make you more comfortable and tell me if you would like some visitors or not" responded Hackett who had yet remove himself from his stance of attention.

At this point Shepard considered his options but quickly came to the conclusion that Hackett was right and that he should stay here rather that hurt himself again. He just hated to idea of waiting here when there was so many things to do. At least the prospect of visitors sounded nice. He sighed before responding. A sigh of feeling defeated. "Yes visitors would be nice but first maybe a more private room and bed or cot would be nice. The metal is cold"

"I can have that arranged, but are you sure you don't want to have visitor right now. There is one just outside; he has been waiting the whole time and guarding you with a pack of krogan"

That could only be one person that devoted and access to a pack of krogan that would defend him in his state of weakness. Shepard thought it was probably best not to keep him waiting any longer out of fear of what he might do to the staff if he had to wait longer. "Send him right in, it will be alright"

Hackett made a hasty exit and it was only moments before he heard the footsteps of a fully armored krogan. No other humanoid was heavy enough to make such footsteps, so Shepard could use the footsteps alone to tell it was a krogan that was coming before his presences. It was not long before the welcome face came storming in, warming Shepard's heart.

"Shepard" uttered Grunt.

Shepard could not help but smile when the overly large reptile came in. He always like Grunt for his simplicity in character. He was just a pure blooded killing machine, pure and simple. Then again he always greatly respected the krogan as a people. There focus on strength and endurance always appealed to him. And any culture that used head butting as a proper gesture of one's annoyance of another scored an extra point in his book. But that would have to change in days to come was something that Shepard was painfully aware of. However now he just wanted to enjoy the company off a friend.

"Grunt it is good to see you not covered in blood for once" snipped Shepard, who now posed himself to face Grunt directly and make eye contact with. He was in weakened position but he did not want appear weak in front of Grunt. He did not want give him ideas.

Grunt grunted before saying "trying to one up me Shepard. Saw me get mauled by rachni and you decided to get mauled by a Reaper laser. Pretty impressive for a human, but then again your more krogan than most krogan I know" He smiled at his last remark, with his iconic chuckle. He also stayed farther back then Hackett did, staying about two or so meters away from his position.

Shepard was slightly confused from Grunt's use of a human phrase, so he decided to explore it. "Who taught you about one upping people?"

"That one really old human in the yellow armor, Zaeed was his name, right? I liked him, would like to do some more killing with him. Have you seen him recently?"

Now Shepard was a little more confused as he thought Grunt should be able to realize that there was no way of him contacting Zaeed. But he decided to amuse what he considered cute krogan. "No Grunt I have not seen him while I was in coma" retorted Shepard.

"Yes that's right, I forgot for a moment about that" responded Grunt, now scratching his chin.

Then something accrued to Shepard that did not make sense to him. Should Krogan not help defend those who can't defend themselves as that meant they are too weak to be worth considering? "Grunt, as I understand krogan culture, shouldn't by the fact I am wounded mean I am not worth guarding, as I did not have strength to stand up for myself" inquired Shepard.

"By the fact you are only wounded and not dead means you are stronger than anyone else. I can think of no one else that could have survived what you just went through, except maybe me" answered Grunt, who kept his piercing, icy blue eyes, fixed on Shepard.

There was a brief moment of silence before Grunt continued to talk. "Well now your awake again, tell me what we are going to kill next. My blood screams for action and I am sure this is the longest I have ever gone without killing something" told Grunt while shifting in his place.

For a moment Shepard heart stopped as his fears about the krogan seemed to be coming true. He had cured the Genophage because he thought Wrex could control the others due to fact he had almost unified the krogan single handily, but he was worried that some of the krogan might not get Wrex's attention and become violent. Shepard saw he had to disarm this situation now. He thought on how to appeal to the krogan and the answer came quickly to him. He readied his response in no time at all, knowing that his response needed to work for the safety of the galaxy.

"Grunt, the Reapers are dead and the krogan had a vital role to play in that. You are masters of war and you have no equal. With the defeat of the Reapers, the greatest threat to ever known, with no equals. There is nothing out the now equal to the Reapers, only other worth to be ignored. Now it is time to prepare and rebuild. To wait for the next great enemy and when he shows up you will utterly obliterate him. But first you must rebuild your home world to make it equal to warriors it houses, to build weapons and starships worth of Krogan ownership. You do not want have to beg from those weaker then you for their guns and spaceships, build your own, now. It is time now for the krogan to build a domain of their own. Do you understand, Grunt?" explained Shepard who was now pointing Grunt to make sure he understood.

"That… That makes sense. There no people worthy enough for me to fight. I will build my own ship, like the Normandy, but bigger and able to blow up planets… Wait, how I do that?" inquired Grunt, eyes now filled with interest.

"It will be hard to start and you might need someone to teach you. Quarians or turians might be able to teach you" respond Shepard.

"I don't like turians, maybe the quarians. Oh, I know I will ask that quarians you have taken on as a mate. She will help. Well, bye Shepard I am going to learn how to make a dreadnought." And just as Grunt was about to exit the med bay he cursed. "I still have to guard your sorry ass Shepard; okay after you are standing again I will learn to make big guns and space ships." And with that Grunt left to the room, leaving Shepard wondering whether or not he just doomed the galaxy or not.

It was very soon after Grunt left that the old quarian and the Portoa were back, this time bring two human nurses with a stretcher and a couple asari nurses. The human nurses quickly ran to his side and started to load him onto the stretcher, when the old quarian decide to chime in a comment.

"Don't worry captain, we have found a much more comfortable and private location picked out for you. Also close enough to med bay just in case of emergency. By the way, I am Ganus'Juva and it's an honor meeting you." Shepard already like this quarian much more than the Portoa, but his voice did not match his suit. It almost reminded him of Veetor but filled with confidence rather than shyness. However he did actually seem pleased to be here, unlike the asari doctor who just seemed to look at it as just another job.

After Shepard was placed on the stretcher did he respond to Ganus. "The honor is mine, but I have a few questions. First, your environmental suit looks different than the others other I have seen, is it an older model?" Shepard turned his gaze to match Ganus's gaze, who had also taken a position to Shepard right.

"Oh, this old thing, I inherit from my grandfather who just died a few days before my graduation into adolescences. And my mother being a firm believer in ancestors thought this was a sign from them. I have kept in because it is much easier to modify than the newer ones" Ganus waved his hand up and down the suit to show it and emphasized the patch work by doing so. But now that Shepard looked at it again, he could see countless modification all across it, bits of tech here and there with glowing bits to boot. He could only guess what half of them do.

"All right, care to tell me now way I am being treated by quarians and asari?" Now Shepard heard his voice he guess he was not that old, but it is always hard to tell with quarians.

"I and my team were personally sent here by Admiral Xen and the others as a form of gratitude. Me and my team are cybernetics specialist who had been learning how mechanically geth had changed and if we could maybe use that to improve our own bodies. But look at your own cybernetics have been much more helpful in our research than anything else in creating new cybernetics. Doctor Portoa is here to help with the other health complication and your care in things not cybernetics related" the quarian stood upright at attention as if he rehearsed this part and obviously took pride in talking about what he did.

"I can defend and describe my own position thank you very much" responded the Portoa, who kept her distance from the rest of them.

Shepard was about to ask another question, when something occurred to him. Had they fix the scares on his face, the ones from Project Lazarus? He lifted his left arm to check but Ganus placed his hand o his arm to stop him.

"Please, you are still very weak, keep still and don't but pressure on your muscles. It will only make the healing take longer"

"My scars, did you get rid of my scars?" asked Shepard who showed distress in his voice. This time it was the purple witch who responded

"No, they are still there. Your medical records are all in Alliance data base and Doctor Chakwas made a special note on how you did not want to have your scars removed when she offered it" Portoa voice was a sneer. He guessed the idea of keeping the scars made no sense to asari, one who must of care for her appearance a lot. Now that he mention it, Shepard noticed that the Portia's figure was not that bad. But her expression on her face left a lot to be desired for, as it was now stoke in a frown of disapproval.

"Yes, the cybernetics in your face are very much alive. I was especially surprised by the optical implants or replacement eyes, I was sure those would have to be replaced. But they just need minor tweaking to fix. However that is probably because the eyes are not based on any Reaper tech. They are just top of the line products, only available to very wealthy" added in Ganus. By this time they had moved into the hall and were now carrying Shepard to what he guessed would be his room.

Shepard paused before he asked his next question. "How long till I am on my feet again and am out of here?"

"Over the course of next month we will be performing several operations to graft skin, new organs and cybernetics. After that it could take maybe another month to fully heal and recover. My team is trying to be extra cautious and hopefully avoid making new scars," answered by Portoa. Shepard decided he really did not like her for the attitude she had in her voice and decide never call her by her name.

He was very angry after being resurrected that his scars were washed away and that's why he kept these red ones. It reminded him of his mistakes and the price this war had on him. It also served as a reminder to other on who he was and the hells he seen and pain he could inflict. They opened up new ways of diplomacy, ones he was already very good at, but the glowing red eyes could only help in showin others that he was the essence of their destruction made manifest. He was to inspire fear into the hearts of his enemies and hold no bars in their annihilation. He did the disturbing things people did not want do, but need to be done. They enemy forks up his or her right to be consider alive when they became his enemy, or at least that's how he saw it. No mercy, no respite, these scars emphasized that mentality.

However he could not help but notice that the scars made him more like some monster or demon then a person. But, when he became a Specter, they way he saw it, he stop being human and became insurer of peace, at any cost.

As his thoughts began to drift, he saw he was in another room. It had a rather large bed that looked rather comfortable with a bunch of medical equipment around it, computers and IVs. The people started to talk, but he was not listening. He did not care really as his thought consumed him. They said about visitors coming sooner or later and the people were off. He was now in the bed, hooked up, with just him and his thoughts. His thoughts drifted to that all great decision that felt like he made only moments ago.

How was it really a decision? Control would not have work as his mind would be assimilated into Reapers conscious, whose conscious was much bigger than his own. It would have never worked.

Synthesis, how was that going to work? All become mix together with his DNA, would that make everyone one human or at least one species. Force all to become one people and replace organic bits with tech. It was at that moment when making his decision at the Crucible that he remembered something Mordin said. He talked about the degradation of Protheans into the Collectors. About how it removed art and culture, music and emotion. It was cultural genocide. If he picked Synthesis, all uniqueness between species would be lost as all became one and replacing with tech would remove the parts that made us alive, like desire and love. In doing Synthesis, he would be dong cultural genocide to all the races.

So there was no other choice but to kill the Geth and EDI. Make real genocide of one race so he did not have perform cultural genocide on all races. The quarians could probably rebuild the Geth, but EDI he was not so sure. But yet Shepard felt this gnawing feeling in his gut, one he had not felt in a while. It just seemed wrong and he knew why.

It was not anything tp do with killing the Geth and EDI. No, it was him, he failed. He went to serve so other did not have to. He took the pain so other did not have to because he knew he could take it. He has sacrificed so much and always used it justify his actions. The needs of the many out way the needs of the few were words of wisdom he heard long ago and been something he thought he followed. Control and Synthesis offered permit solution that would lead to peace if the Catalyst words were true. Options were everyone won and all he had to do was sacrifice himself for everyone. Yet he could not do it, not out of self preservation, but for her. What would happen to Tali if he died? She looked like she was on the edge of breaking when he left her and he could not stand to see her cry. She told him about her depression after his first death. What would happen now if he died after he came back from dead through a miracle of science, saved her life, saved her reputation, confess his love to her, had spend so much time together and had return her home world to her? The answer he did not like and could not bear. He would do anything to make her smile, even if that meant he had to burn the galaxy. But yet he sacrificed two friends and committed genocide to please one person. This did not hold well to what he thought were his beliefs. It was too painful now to think about now. He needed Tali or a very strong sedative.

That night Shepard spent much time just trying to block his mind and focus on sleep. It took several attempts but after an hour or so, he succeeded.

**Author's Note: Considering how Grunt's only one year old and is probably more intelligent than most krogan duo him being a super soldier. I think it is very well in the realm of possibility that he could become a master engineer given time. Maybe 200 years or so he will be a master ship maker.**

**This last bit takes on my decision making process at the final decision. From the way the Catalyst described Synthesis it sound like to me turning all species into one and in a way destroying all the races. **

**And no I will not be ret coning the ending. Although I hate the ending and its logic, there is a certain tragedy I like about it. Great character development I think comes often from tragedy and this fits the bill of tragedy.**


	11. Chapter 11

797 hours, 54 minutes and 1 second since the red wave of The Crucible washed over the galaxy and killed all synthetic life.

Pain, it felt like she was repeatedly hitting her head against a wall. Where was she? She could not remember. She opened her eyes slowly and thanked her ancestors that lights were not too bright. And at least it seemed what she was sleeping on had a lot of give, so that was better. She briefly looked down to see what looked like leather. She readjusted herself so she was sitting up, but her head felt so heavy and needed support, so she laid her head in her hands. She took a few moments before deciding to look around and decide where she was.

Pain in her head made her feel so slow and unsteady. There was door similar to that of the Normandy's. Then she looked to her left and everything came back to her. This was the Normandy's lounge and last she remembered was having a few drinks of turian brandy and then deciding that couch was a good place to rest.

"Ah, finally awake Sparks. People were getting worried about you, but I was sure you were just fine" spoke James Vega, hunched over the bar on the little stool. His head looking over his left shoulder to try make eye contact with Tali. A glass filled with an amber liquid and ice.

"How long have I been out?" she kept her head in her hands as the pounding did not stop. She decided she really needed some way to prevent herself from taking too much alcohol. Maybe she would make a program in her suit for that.

"uum, if I had to guess, maybe a day. I don't really pay attention to that kind stuff anymore. Well I didn't really pay attention to that sort of stuff to begin with either. Just wait for next fight, the next thing to shoot. It's all I am really good at anyway" told James, but he whispered the last part to himself, only really half pay attention to the hungover quarian behind him.

Tali put her hand to the top of the helmet and leaned back into the couch. James voice was a little too loud and it hurt her head."Wait, did he just say I was out for a day" thought Tali, just realizing what he just said.

"What has happened during the time I was out?" she had so many things to do. She just thought she could take few drinks to take the edge off things and now here she was, horribly behind schedule. Now it's one more accursed day on this stupid planet.

"Don't worry Sparks, nothing really happened. Although Mother Goose finally let Joker out, I think he is back to his cockpit, probably miserable though" James then looked away, as if he no longer held interest in Tali and went back to starring into his glass.

Joker, she had barley seen him. The last time she remembered talking to him was before Earth. A pain of guilt hit her stomach. She had completely forgotten about him in her own grief and took no notice of his pain. And all the times she had gone to him get movies for her and Rioul to watch. She failed at her duty as a friend. She decided it would be best to maybe lay down to help ease the guilt and the throbbing in her head, splitting her brain apart.

She lay back on the L-shaped couch so that she would have a full view of the bar and James. He was in his armor and it seemed it had some blood and dirt on it. "What hell was he doing before this" she asked to herself in a voice to no one else could hear. But before she could ask why his armor was like that, she saw him pour all the amber liquid down his gullet, which with her brief time around men and alcohol told her he was about to do something stupid.

"How did such ad nice girl like you end up with the tough, hard as nail, volcano full of fury like Shepard? I would never believed it if I did not see it for myself" James now turned his whole body around on the stool and was now completely facing Tali.

"Mutual interest I guess, what start as respect turned into something more. But really I don't feel comfortable talking about this. There probably a lot more important things I need to be doing. It was good seeing you James" she uttered hastily and quickly left the lounge. She really did not want talk about that; she did not need to break down again. And least of all talk about it with a drunk, lonely man. She leaned against the wall and thanked the ancestors for getting her out of that awkward situation. Any way she had better things to do, like check Traynor and the quantum communicator. However, a growl from her stomach interrupted that thought and her head still hurt. Maybe some food and check in with Chakwas would be a good idea.

As she strolled on over to kitchen, something caught her eye, a thing that always caught her eye. It was rather ingenious of Shepard to stick the memorial wall there, where no one could avoid it. She stopped to look over it.

Certain names popped right out to her. She recognized the names of the few engineer crew men on the first Normandy that died when Collector attacked. Adams and the couple were nice but it was not the same. She remembered coming in to original Normandy's drive core and how friendly they were about help her learn the drive core. She really did not need the help, but she appreciated none the less. And soon enough they were inviting her to all sort of little recreational activates that the engineering staff did with one another. It felt like she just stepped into this big family. Not to denounce Kenneth and Gabby or anything. It was just when she first got on SR-2 that they did not invite her in from the beginning and mostly did their work separate from her own. Later on that change and they became friends, but she stilled remembered that rocky start.

She continued to look at the names but many did not stick out to her. Then she saw Mordin's name. She would miss his antics. She first tried to get advice for her relationship from Chakwas, but she only gave her basic advice until recommending her to Mordin. She was so embarrassed to go up to him but was so relieved to see him treat it so seriously, but it did disturb her that he already knew what she was going to ask before she opened her mouth and that he had such a keen interest in her romantic life. However his suggestions proved to be most helpful and she would never thought about the herbal supplements without him. And she had to admit there was something about him that was just likable.

But as she continued to look at the names, she felt sadness come over her. If anything she had learned while spending her time here, at the Normandy, was that one cannot spend too much time looking at the past and instead must look to future, a better future. She thought of a small little prayer from the Scrolls of the Ancestors for this occasion.

Lay your heads weary ones

Who have been beaten time and time again

By an universe's cruelty

Join now with friends and family of past

May we later meet at peace once more

In a solace without worry

Where time will be lost

As well as the burdens of life

Go and don't worry

About those you leave behind

For we are still fighting

And master of our souls

She bowed her head in respect even though it hurt still. A moment or two in silence before she was off to go to the dextro based food area of the kitchen. She opened the fridge were they stored her paste. Why they did that was beyond her as they were environmentally sealed, so they were not going to rot as that involved bacteria and other elements that were not in container of dreary paste.

She then proceeded to then head over to the med bay. The pain had yet to relent and if she was going to get any work done, she would have to get some medication to make hammering in her skull go away. As she entered the med bay, a friendly and warm voiced welcome her.

"Hello Tali, nice to see you. I have a feeling I know what you want, but why don't you tell me yourself" Tali cheeks flushed with blood and warmth. "Had everyone seen her past out on the couch" thought Tali. The thought of rest of the crew and especially Chakwas looking over her with disapproving glares did little for her and she felt her hands begin to wrap themselves with each other.

"I got… I mean I thought… it's just that I thought…it would you know…" Chakwas interrupted the poor quarian before she embarrassed herself anymore.

"Don't worry about it dear. I sure everyone on board have fallen face first into drunken stupors before. And you have been under a bit of stress. Now I have just the thing for you. It's been something I figured I would use on Garrus before you. But it should be perfect for alcohol induce head pains, or what we humans call a hangover" Chakwas went off into one of her cabinets before producing a syringe with some strange blue fluid. The she continued on what she was talking about. "I see you already acquired some nutrient paste" she swiftly took it out of her hands and quickly found the injection port meant for the exact purpose. She then quickly returned it to Tali.

"Um… ah… thank you Karin" She then swiftly exited the med bay, not paying attention to the doctor's response to her gratitude. "That went a lot better than I thought it would" thought Tali. She then pondered what to do next. She opened her omni-tool and was ready to send a message to Traynor for a report, but decide to go up herself. She had been introverted enough and she was good friends with Traynor anyway, it would be fun to just talk. Although she did have to ignore her wondering stare every time she turned around or leaned over, but beside that they were friends. Anyone who could keep up with her in her tech talk and girl talk was good in her book. That's how she became with friends with Kasumi any ways. Actually that's what held their friendship together. Kasumi really became her friend after she would not leave her alone until she talked about her relationship with Shepard. Then things went up from there.

She sat down at the cafeteria tables since they were empty and she figure she should take time to eat, instead of wolfing it down while working, like she done before. She carefully went over the detail in her plan to repair the ship in her head, as she ate her meal. It bothered her a tiny bit to see the crew deck empty, but she did not mind, it just meant she could be at peace and not be disturbed.

She estimated that the Normandy was optimistically a week away from take off. Most of the computers were functional again. The drive core and the propulsion itself were working again. Liara had fixed the galaxy map and they knew where they were now. It would only be a month's trip to get back to earth as their fuel stores were full. They had fixed the hull breaches they could and sanction off the ones they could not fix. Life support would be able to provide them with oxygen. The levo based crew members had enough food to last for a while. She and Garrus might have to starve on the last few days on the trip back. Things were looking good. They just needed to weld the wings back on to the body of the Normandy and hopefully that would be it. She tried to remember that human phrase for these situations that she heard the crew use. "Just Peary" she thought, no that could not be it. She would have to ask Shepard later. She felt so close now that she could almost feel his arms and warmth. She could feel he was still out there, waiting for her.

Then again the warmth could also be the pain medication and antibiotics taking affect. She finished her meal and proceeded to the elevator, bowing her head to memorial wall on her way there. The elevator doors closed and she thanked her ancestors for the fact this elevator did not have any elevator music or Garrus in it. She had few complaints about the SR-2, but the lack of stairs or ladders in case the elevator malfunction was regrettable. Most ships back at the Flotilla did not have elevators and just used ladders.

As she entered the CIC, she found it was bustling with activities. Crewmen were bouncing around, performing a myriad of chores. Carrying data pads and tools from place to place, barley stopping to notice her before going off to whatever they were meant to go.

She turned around and went down the hall way leading to war room. It seemed the security scanner was still broke as the blue field was down and was even sparking in places. There were no open of panels around or tool boxes, so it seemed no one was trying to repair. "For the better" she thought she hated that thing, always take too long and remind her of C-sec scanners, which brought back bad memories.

The War Room was less busy as fewer things seemed to be needing of repair. She finally got to the communicator and just as she predict, Traynor's upper body was hidden by one of wall panel creaked open behind the circle where holograms appeared. She quickly thought of something to say.

"There you are, busy as usual I see. Came in to see what progress you've made" Traynor froze when she heard Tali's voice. Moments passed away into oblivion before she pulled herself out of the wall. At this point Tali was worrying she did something wrong.

"Tali, is that you, I haven't seen you since… well while. Nice to see you drag yourself away from your work to see me and mine work" Traynor pulled herself away from her work and propped her forearms against the railing and leaned forward. Tali notice the pause and could easily guess why. She meant the memorial wall incident. Tali decide not to show her notice and responded.

"I guess you can say I am taking the time to relax, but you still haven't answered my question. How about the communicator" Tali could not help feel tense. She could tell that Traynor was quiet amazed by her presence and that did not make her feel good. Had she alienated her friends?

"Oh, the communicator took a bad hit during the crash. A large surge of power went through it, causing it to fry its circuits. I can probably find spare parts for it, but I will have to dismantle some equipment to get the parts I need. I can't imagine this thing taking any less then maybe two and half weeks to fix and that's being optimistic about finding the parts and not running into other complication" Traynor pointing her thumb to communicator behind her and did seem like a mess. There were things sparking, wires hanging about and what looked like scorch marks from fires. Things did not look good.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Tali relax a little. It seemed there were no hard feeling between her and Traynor. She would have hated it if she ruined her friendship with her grief. And it also gave her hope that she had not hurt any other of her friends.

"No, I don't need any help. The communicator can wait. You just need to fix the ship like you always do and get us home. I haven't got a replacement yet for my toothbrush and my teeth feel awful. By the way how the rest ship coming" this confirmed it for Tali. She had not alienated Traynor at all if she was still making jokes. At least she thought it was a joke. She really did not get why humans had to brush their teeth, but it did make their mouths smell good, or at least in her experience with one human.

"Well there are minor things not fixed yet, but those won't affect are flight. Now were taking of armor plate on the back so we can use them to weld the wings together with the body of the ship. It will be risky, but there no way the ships getting off the ground any other way. I am also sure Joker won't run into anything and will take modification into consideration in his flying"

"That's good, sounds a little sketchy, but you would know more than me. And I can't wait to get back. I know exactly what I going to do when I get back… But I really should get back to work. It was nice talking with you. And please remember we always got your back" and with that she went back to what she was doing behind the panel.

Tali had to admit she was a little disappointed. She was hoping it was operational, so she could call the Alliance and hopefully find out about her love. She always hated the waiting. She walked back into CIC and was right about to go into the elevator to do some more work keep her mind busy, when something caught her eye. The crewmen were seemingly avoiding the pilot's area. She had a guess why.

She walked up to pilot's area and took a seat in one co-pilot chair. "No wonder why Joker never gets up. These are rather comfortable" she thought. It just felt so right and gave support on those vital points on her back, although it was a little strange for the leg rests.

She closed her eyes to admire the seat until she felt a pair of eyes watching her. She took a peak at who the owner of the eyes was. Joker still faced his console, but his pupils in corners of his eyes with an eyebrow cocked up with suspicion. Her mind blanked for a moment fot what to say. However words were escaping her lips before she thought it through.

"How are you?" she asked after she straitens herself in the chair, trying to cover her enjoyment of the fine furnishing.

"Just fine" he replaced his gaze on her to that of his console, trying to avoid conversation. That was not response she wanted, maybe something less direct she thought.

"You ready to fly again, we should have the Normandy ready soon" she hoped to get a better outcome from this.

"I have flown most of my life without an AI, don't need one now" Joker did not move an inch, his regard still firmly on console ahead of him. He is not going to let go of that. It seemed to her that a direct approach of the problem was the only thing going to make anything better.

"Joker, we were forced by the Reapers to use the Crucible without knowing what it will do; we just had to hope it would work. We did not know it would disable EDI. And we have all lost people close to us. We have to make them proud by moving on and continue to be happy. That what she would have wanted, for you to be happy with your friends" she pause before she went on, knowing what she was about to say was dangerous ground. "Also I been rather busy just try to fix the ship, I have not bother to check on EDI, so maybe I could go down and see if we could bring her back online" she wait for a response for a few tension filled moments.

"Wait, you would do that, for me?" His attention was now fully on Tali, as if she just given the answer to life, the universe and everything.

"I will go see what we can do, but first you have to do something for me" she felt a little wave of happiness go through at seeing his face now, so open to hope to come in after a dictatorship of despair.

"Alright, tell me want you want"

"I will go check on EDI if you tell me a joke" Tali smiled at her own request it seemed silly to her, but it did seem to have affect on Joker.

"pfft. A joke, really, oh why of course I can do that. So a krogan, vorcha and a quarian are in car on Citadel, who's driving?" Joker was obviously astonished by the request, blowing out air making a "pfft" sound and waving his hand as if doing a playful smack. Tali wonder why humans did that.

"I don't know" Tali already had an idea where this joke was going to end, she figured to play along. All that matter is that she got him out of the mood he was in.

"C-Sec, you did not tell me it had to be a good joke" Joker gave her that look with his eyes that rub it in her face he was right. It was one of the things that amazed her about humans. All they can convey with just their eyes. You can tell so much about one by look at their eyes. And they are so much more colorful too. She could stare at them all day, but she learned on first Normandy that for humans, staring was impolite.

"Alright Joker, I guess I should go then. I will call you when I have something definite to report" with that she took off from she was seated and moved to elevator. She bounced on her toes on the way down to crew deck. And as the elevator's door opened to the crew deck, a poor ensign was about to get on board the elevator when Tali pushed him out of the way, afterwards turning around and apologizing. Then turn and head to med bay.

"Good to see you again Tali, come in for another dose?" asked Chakwas, still sitting in her chair, as usual.

"No thank, I just came down to look at EDI" Tali rushed by out of desire to help a friend and did not wait for Chakwas reply before entering the AI core.

It was true she had not bother to check on EDI at all. She was technically classified as an accessory by the equipment listing, so she had no idea what to expect when she entered the AI core, but it was not this. It looked like nothing had happen, there was no loose wire, and flying sparks, or dents in mainframe. It looked the same as when she entered to "talk" to Legion. "The damage must be inside computer itself, they are supposed to be sealed from outside world after all. Which meant the crash itself could not have done this, as the damage would have come from outside, not from in. Maybe it was that red wave, but if that was the case I don't know what to expect" Tali concluded.

She entered in the codes to open the circuitry of EDI, but her mouth dropped and he eyes widen when she saw what was inside. Ash, there was ash inside. She looked more closely and saw all the memory and data storage was reduced to ash. She pride herself in being able to fix almost anything, but she could not fix something which was reduce to particles of carbon.

What was she going to tell Joker? He did not need to hear this now, not after having his hope go up. She thought about what were possibilities. If she lied he might work more efficiently for awhile, but that would only delay that inevitable or even make it hurt worse. And in worse case she can think off, he might blame her, loose him as a friend and maybe tear her other friends apart. However if she told the truth it would hurt but he would eventually heal, right? She remembered how she felt when her mom died and knew from that experience that he would heal over time like she had. It became obvious what she had to do now.

She press some buttons on her omni-tool to start the video chat but paused when she tried to find words. "I… I mean... I am so sorry Joker; there is nothing I can do. The place where her programming was held has been reduced to ash. I am sorry" She mumbled. He did not even reply, he just return to his depress state, said thank you unconvincingly and logged out of the chat.

It hurt to see him like that. She figured she should get back to work on something less complicated, like getting the ship back home. She submitted to that thought and slugged off to work in defeat.

**Author's Note: This was probably the hardest chapter for me to right so far. Maybe it was I was too worried about the word count or I just trying so hard to do Tali right and with all respect in the world. But at the end of writing this I felt really tired.**


	12. Chapter 12

930 hours, 27 minutes and 44 second since the red wave of The Crucible washed over the galaxy and killed all synthetic life.

"Why are these hallways so empty, do idiots around here think it's haunted or something?" Hannah Shepard thought out loud. And by idiots she meant the crew for Admiral Hackett's ship. She had been stuck on his ship since they pick here out of that escape pod about five weeks ago. Now she ran around this ship, giving orders to what felt like every human in existence, and her patience was waving thin.

She emitted that this was bound to happen eventually, but it did not mean she liked it. Admiral Hackett had declared martial law on Alliance and what was left of humanity. Now every commanding officer had kilotons of civilians dumped in their lap and told get them organized. All the civilian governments were dead, including the old Earth countries and Alliance parliament, so the chain of command was the closes thing now to a form of government.

The worst part is that nobody knew what to do. Some want to form new countries on Earth, while others wanted to reestablish the old countries of Earth. There was even talk about just making on unified government with Alliance taking on all affairs of governing and not really being much of a alliance any more, just a single force of humanity. Hannah personally liked the sound of the last one the most. The countries of Earth were often filled with the ignorant and too much tradition, also completely unaware of what happened outside of Earth. And now that most of population is dead and the old Earth nation having been reduced to rubble, it meant it was best time to create a single force for humanity.

However they would probably expect someone to make a new constitution or something to make this new government and would also expect probably an admiral to do that, which included her. She did not want do that, hell she did not want be an admiral. It was just the fact that Reapers killed so many, she became a rear-admiral. And she tired of it. She felt like a combination of the grief of responsibility, the anger of having deal with too much and not being able to punch things, and finally just weariness of working for so long. Her hair was a nice blond before all this and now there were very prevalent stripes of grey in it. Her once sort of perfect skin had succumb to wrinkles and slag. She also felt physically lighter.

She was not the only one feeling this. The after mention idiots all had dirty uniforms with holes, dark saucers around their eyes the size of dinner plates and all had seemly picking up a hearing disability so they all had to be told twice to doing something right. Reports she would get were often now filled with grammatical and spelling mistakes, some were just plain out right unintelligible. Even some of her most trusted and best men were now coming down with incompetency from their tired states. It was like the brains and personality of crew she worked with had been thrown out the air lock.

It was times like this she just wish she could shoot something or someone. But no, she had a job to do that involved making sure millions of civilians and soldiers got food they need. That she had set up for next wave of search party or order a ship to deliver some supplies. And last but not least, working with their new alien allies to make sure everyone was comfortable squatting in the Sol system. At this moment retirement did not sound like a bad option.

Then there was infuriating matter before her. Five day ago, she was told by Hackett himself that she could finally go visit her boy. But right when she is about to visit, the doctor pull him away for surgery and tell her come back a couple of days. "The balls on that quarian to send her off" she thought. If he did the same thing again, she would shoot him with her ivory gripped Paladin. "They're _ivory_. Only a pimp from a cheap Omega whorehouse would carry a _pearl_-handled pistol" she thought.

Just as she thought about all ways to kill that orange quarian, she came across what must be keeping the crew out of these halls. In front of her were a handful of fully armored krogan with huge shotguns. She personally never understood why people were intimidated by these oafs, she thought they look like over sized turtles or toads. "How could anyone take them seriously?" she thought.

As she stormed by them as they growled at her, but it only remind her of tom cats back when she was a child on the farm that would hiss at anything that moved. Then they would beat their fist to try look imposing, but that did not work on Hannah because she could have them all thrown out the air lock or at end fire squad by the end of the day.

Then she finally got to a krogan standing in front of door to her son's room. This one, she came to conclusion to was especially adorable. His small hump, his lack of a fully develop crest and the fact he tried to look so imposing made him seem child like. However, his eyes disturbed her. They were icy blue that sent chill with knowledge that he was a pure blood killer who loved it.

"Human, female, small, old, what do you want?" asked the krogan, who took a step forward to have his face just inches away from hers, sniffing her. She made a note on his bad breath.

She felt her blood boiled at his remark. "How dare he call me small" she thought. Five, two was a perfectly acceptable height in her mind of a serving woman. She considered that moment calling the marines, but decided to wait of this panned out. Did he also call her old too? She would give him a special personal hell later.

"I am here to see the commander If you can't guess. Now step aside" she figured that if Krogan did not know who she was, she should keep that knowledge ready till later. For knowledge is power and in right hands, a powerful weapon.

"I do not sense fear in you, that's good. But I don't recognize you, so I will not let you see the Battle Master" he stepped back and took back his attention position, his gaze still firmly on her.

"Battle Master, you call him Battle Master? So he is your superior, correct?" He called her son Battle Master. "What had her son gotten himself into" she wondered.

He took a few moments to respond. "Yes he would be my greater and few others" he seemed to be offended in having to admit that. That's also when an idea came to her.

"It seems to me that you don't know the long standing human tradition. In human culture, mothers always outrank their offspring. And since my offspring outranks you and I outrank him. That would mean I outrank you as well. So step aside" now she prayed that krogan did not know better.

He stood there for a while; she guessed trying to decide if she was lying. But finally he let out"Humans are strange, fine. Go on in" He step aside and gave her a mean stare.

Once inside, she inhaled quickly with surprise at the sight before her. Before her laid in bed a man, one that look like her son, but looked strangely wrong. He was flexing his left arm and curling it, when she noticed that his bicep looked sickly wrong. It was grey and you could count fibers. It reminded her of the arm muscles of the geth, but these were on her son. As well, there were two artificial fingers instead of his pinky and ring finger on his left hand. They were thick and made no attempt to look human, no nails or fake skin. They were just thick grey synthetic muscle, again very geth like.

However that was not disturb her to most, it was his face that disturbed her the most. Red cracks surrounded his face, making it seem like one could pull off his face and show a burning sun. It looked wrong or even daemonic. It was especially disgusting to see it on her boy.

"What happened to your?" Hannah used her own finger to point to her own face, her words getting stuck in her throat. The last time she saw her boy in person was to see him off as Captain Anderson XO. Back then he was jaded and hardened, but that look meager compared to his expression on his face now. There was also something new on his face too, tiredness. From what she could only possibly imagine.

"Mother! You did not know? I was on the vids with my interview; I figured everyone was use to my ugly mug" he stopped focusing on his left arm's new features and turn to his mother with honest look of confusion.

"No I saw the interviews and I am very proud on how you talked her down, but…" She drift off as an answer came to her mind. Shepard was much a symbol of humanity and the Alliance would not want their symbol to look inhuman. So the Alliance paid or intimidated the studio to edit the vids to cover the scars to keep their symbol looking good.

"I think I figure out why I did not know, but what are they? Is it from the Reaper?" uttered Hannah with the desire to find out what happened to her child.

"No this was from when I died and Cerberus resurrected me. They never finish completely, leaving the scars, and I kept them to remind myself of my failure. They also help me make people see my way" he smiled a little at the final statement. It did not ease her at all.

"I heard you were working for Cerberus from Anderson, I would not have believed it from anyone else. But you actually died?" what she said was true and it was part of the reason she came. She had not heard anything about her son activities' since he became a specter and she came to hear his story.

"Yes, I know it's hard to believe but it did happen. And afterward I worked _with_ Cerberus to stop the Collector. Then I cut ties from them" he made sure to emphasis on the with in his statement, but he did not need to. She believed him.

She stoppedhim before continuing. "So the rest of the" she pointed to his bicep and fingers "are from injuries on Earth" She had a feeling what the answer would be but wanted to hear it from him.

"Yes they are, and supposedly half of them haven't been implanted yet. I thought at first my cybernetics expert was alright, you know the quarian with the bulky suit. But he turns out be insane as Xen. He just came in here one morning, knocks me out cold and next I wake up with this bicep and fingers. Talk about poor bedside manner" He looked away from her when he was done, as if transfixed on something in his lap. She had pulled up a chair while he was talking, leaning forward with her elbows to her knees and her hands together.

"I will have a talk with this quarian later; I think I know who your talking about. He has an orange suit right?" She raised an eyebrow waiting for his answer.

"Yeah that's the one. He also wants to do more cybernetics than I think is necessary and my other doctor agrees with me. And don't get me start on her" he rolled his eyes as he mention her.

"From the way you make it sound, it sounds like you have the worst doctors in the world" she must admit that she was very interested. And if they did any wrong the her son, she would bring down fury of as much Alliance she commanded on them.

"Oh don't worry; they just have poor bedside manners. I am sure they are the best at what they do or else their respective people would not have sent them" it was at this point Hannah decided to cut to the chase and get to why she came here.

"So you care to tell me what you been doing for the last four years. All I been picking in up is the headlines and I doubt that's the even the half of it" she smiled that smile that showed pride in her son. She had to admit she had no idea about what he was going to say next.

"The best way to describe it is like a roller coaster, there have been highs and lows. When I started as a XO of prototype ship it was just a job I did so other did not have to do it. It slowly became I did that job because I wanted to defend the people I cherish" his regards were still on the sheets covering his lap. He paused for a several moments, as if expect his mother to interject. But she did not. She stay there, listening intently and calmly.

"I have had to make some tough calls, but I have made some friends, which is something I never expect out of this job. And I have learned so much" he finally turned to her to look her eye. A look that asked what she thought about this.

"How about we talk about these new friends of yours. I must admit I am surprised to hear that, you were never very social" She remembered him becoming very quite around adolescents, never hanging out with kids his own age.

"What, where get this idea I was not social?" he looked genuinely puzzled by his mother remark.

"Well you never hang out with kids on the ship and I never heard about your acquaintances in your work"

"They other kids all turned out to be meathead and were scared of me because of my biotics. And when I joined the Alliance I decided not to be too close to people, knowing they could be gone any moment" she thought about his response and did it make sense. It was right about the time he developed biotics that he became seemly anti-social.

"So what changed? She could not wait to hear his response, feeling like a child about get a present inside.

"It's hard to resist when you work with some people for so long. And some personalities are just impossible to ignore" He gave that grin that taunts you with the fact he knows something but you don't.

"Would some of these friends be at your funeral, because then I might have met some of them then" She still remembered the funeral. It was big and public. It was at the Citadel and it seemed like everyone was were hired mourners by the cargo ship full. Then there were the speakers. Each member of the Council had given each a little speech that was obviously to her created by people who did not know her son or cared. The exception being the recently appointed Councilor Anderson, who lack of elegance in words showed very well that day and did nothing calm her mourning heart. For so long had she known nothing about her child due to top secret classification that she hardly remembered what he was like as man.

"I would assume so, I would not know because I was not there" he responded. She thought she should have seen that coming, but this was all she had to go by. She remembered a few speakers there that were supposedly part of the crew, but she never got to talk to them. And there was one in particular that made her blood boil with disgust. A turian who did not have the decency to take his stupid visor off when speaking. She did not like turians in general because every time she encounters one of them they got stick way up their butts about rules and regulations. Then there was also that time they shot at her back when she was a lonely navigator for SR Goshawk during the First Contact War. She also thought they were just freaky looking as well.

"So does a turian whose always wearing a visor ring a bell to you" At her retort Shepard seemly burst with excitement.

"That was probably Garrus" he paused when he figured out what his mother was thinking, letting his next statement drip with suspicion. "Mother, this isn't about your hatred of turians is it? I know they shot at you during First Contact, but Garrus is different and he is too young for that or at least I think he is"

"Sure he is different. Did not seem too different to me at your funeral" she still remembered his piece. He was the only one who was as bad as Anderson in his wordplay.

"Ok, first off he was not at First Contact. Two he is not a stickler for rules like the others, actually he joined my team to get away from C-Sec red tape and rules. And finally that man has been with me on almost every mission since almost the beginning for my hunt for Saren. There are few others who I trust equal to him" after he was satisfied with is answer he fold his arms, as if asking her to make a counter argument. However if he is this passionate about this, maybe she should keep an open mind about this Garrus fellow.

"Alright I get the picture. If I ever meet him, I will try to give him fair shake. Now there was another one I wanted to talk about. There was an asari who also spoke on your behalf, a Tiara L'soni or something, I forget her name. But I do remembered she had impressive credentials" She remember her very well as her speech sound more like little schoolgirl with a crush than adult. But then again she never really liked asari to begin with. Always trying to hide behind words and suitors, never getting their hands dirty, they mostly made her sick. Also did not help that their reproduction system always gave her a headache when they tried to explain it to her.

"That is Liara T'soni and yes she is a friend. We had a little bit of rough start because I had told her I killed her mother. But now I say were friends" Rioul stance became more uncertain and he looked away at something on the floor when he mention the rough start. And idea came to her head, was there something more to this she wondered. Was he afraid that she would disapprove of a relationship with an asari? She was not for certain and decided not to press until she had more evidence.

"I also spotted a quarian there as well, she did not say anything and she ran away when I tried to talk to her. But I have to assume you knew her if they let her in the VIP area of the funeral" She remember seeing the petite thing there, standing as if trying use up as little space as possible and not get in anyone's way. That was the first time she seen a quarian in the flesh, but she had heard of their reputation from the other species.

Her son's behavior at mentioning the quarian she found more interesting than his response. His cheeks turn red, his scars red glow faded, he awkwardly stared away from her and he rubbed his neck, a tick she often took for embarrassment or nervousness. It flared up her motherly instincts like ant under magnifying glass in summer heat. Did her son have feelings for this quarian? The idea shocked her more than idea that he had feelings for the asari. She did not know what to think. If either were case, she will grill him when he announce it to her, if he does.

"She is best engineer I ever met and she is a good friend, just as good as friend as Garrus and I trust her just as much. She has been with me for almost as long and she has given me a great respect for the quarian people. Also probably one of nicest people I ever meant, I am kind of surprised she was at funeral" At her son's uncomfortable response, she decided to change the subject. But her suspicions were set very high by his response.

"And when did you get krogan bodyguards. You going to tell me they are your friends too" She saw an instant change in her son's expression at the change of questioning, eager to talk about the krogan.

"Oh, them. Well you see I became good friends with the now krogan leader, Wrex, during my hunt for Saren. He helped kill my way to Saren and his goons. Afterwards I urge him go back to Tuchunka and help his people. The rest is history. I guess he figured I need guarding sense I have proven to be a valuable ally to the krogan. Also the krogan at the door, Grunt, I served with him during my mission against the Collectors and has been a loyal ally ever since. I could not hope for a better guard" She smirked at his comment about his guard. She thought about whether she should say she trick this Grunt into letting her in, but decided to hold back. He had enough to worry about and she did not think anyone else would be able to get away with that, so there was little to worry about.

"This all well and good but do you have any friends that are human? I have meant Kaidan and he seems like nice kid, no backbone, but a nice guy." At this point in conversation she was wondering if her boy remembered what color his blood was, but this was a time for recovering time, not persecution.

"Don't worry about that, I have plenty. But some of them make the aliens look normal" he was now looking at her, his face showing fondness of memories only he saw. However she was getting overwhelm by all these people, and although she saw that this brighten his mood, that will fade when she leaved and he be alone and weary again with his thoughts. She saw it as her duty now put some ease on this.

"Well I am sure I will meet them all, but let's talk about what was troubling you before I got here. I know you will try to deny it, but don't bother lying to your mother. I can tell that this position, being a specter has placed aches on your soul and mind. Speak of them child" He was stunned by sharpness of which his mother change to conversation. That's how she like to do things, when they come to mind and charge full force.

"Alright, if you insist, while I have been sitting here I have been doing some thinking. I have made some calls that at the time I thought were right but now I not so sure. Now I am wondering if there might been some…" he did not get to finish as his mother placed a finger to his lips hushed him.

"Let me stop you before you go with that thought. Look what you have done, you have brought a divided galaxy under one banner and slain the greatest threat ever to arise. All in command have to make tough choices, I have made some myself. Here is example you can relate to. Remember back when that Reaper, Sovereign, attacked the Citadel; I was part of the relief force Hackett mustard up to attack the geth and their Reaper master. I and my crew had taken quite a kill count, but we got the enemies attention. We could take quite a beating being our ship is a dreadnought and all. But things were getting very bad. Some of my trusted confidantes said ship could not take anymore, we should abandon ship and we would lose a lot more of the crew if we did not abandon ship. However I knew that if we abandon ship the geth would go past us and destroy the weaker ships behinds us, killing hundreds more. Or I could stay and loose a dozen men and possibly lose the ship. I found the choice was obvious and we held are ground. I lost a lot good friends and ship had to dock back on Earth for repairs. But I took solace knowing I saved the people behind me" she gave a weak smile at the end of her story. It was tough after that, the crew grew distant for a while and being planet side was worst thing for her. But she knew it was the right call.

"Oh, mother you were grounded by repairs. That had to tough for you" her son's show of sympathy was about two years late, but it was appreciated. She did in fact hate being of planets for any extend period of time. It made her feel dizzy with different composition in the air, the open sky and no hum of a drive core to comfort her to sleep. She spent so much time in space it was just hard to transfer to life on the ground. However she tried to stay positive.

"Oh it was not all bad, got to have some face to face time with family, actually got to be there for the holidays. Also was able to get some good food for change as well" She had four other siblings who she was close to, but never really got to talk to either. They all grew up on a farm in Montana with Ma and Pa. And would tease her for staring for hours on end at the stars, she just loved their beauty. So she did her best in school to get scholarships for college to become an astronomer. Then Alliance all of a sudden comes up, advertises as exploration force for the stars and it was love at first sight. Next thing she knows is being picked up as a navigator and going to the stars. Then First Contact happened and the Alliance becomes more military, but she did not mind. As longs she got to see the stars, she was happy, even if that meant she did not get see her family as much.

"That's good to hear. How are they anyway, I have seen them since I was seventeen" With also being in military, her own little family did not get see her extend family much. Sometimes on Christmas, or other holidays, but that's was about it.

"I have been so busy I have not really got to check up on them. Although I know your grandmother is alright, so I assume your Uncle Keith is alright too" she had been so busy she could not check on the others, but since grandma stayed at the family ranch with her brother looking after her, in the middle of no-where. She was sure they were fine.

They then returned to silence as the conversation pattered off. It was obvious he was getting winded from the exchange. Her motherly instincts were flaring, telling her he needed some rest. But then he asked a strange question that hit her in face like bird flying into a window.

"Mother I am little curious about something. Do you know where dad is or whether he is alive or not?" Mr. Chirkoff as she liked to call him now invokes the temperature in her blood to rise. She would not lie, she had checked to see if he was alive or not, so she not reason not to tell. She just wondered why her son cared now, especially considering how poor they left one another the last time.

"I must admit I was curious where he was in all this chaos. Turns out he is on a little colony in the middle of no-where, running a hospital or something. Why were you wondering about that?"

"Just curious" he yawned deeply to degree she could of swore she saw his lymph nodes or something. "Those are in throat, right" she wondered. You would think being married to doctor for twenty eight year you would learn a thing or two about the human body. Turning out not to be case for Hannah Shepard.

"Alright my curiosity is satisfied for now, so come here" she swooped down on her son, consuming him with her arms in a fierce hug that had been building up for years. Her arms craved for this and ached with passion. However Rioul seemed to be startle at first, but soon embraced the embrace and gave in to the passion of maternal instinct by returning the hug, awkwardly.

"Now get some rest, you're going to need for all award ceremonies they got planned for you" she smiled as she was about to leave the door. She decided to leave before he could make protest or inquire what she meant, but she thought herself pretty obvious in what she meant.

As she walked with spring in her step away from the grumbling and growling krogan, she reviewed the facts she just learned about her son. He has become good friend with a turian, has made the krogan bask in amazement at him. Is possibly in love with an asari or a quarian, and has become a cyborg. "Well at least he us not in love with a turian" she thought optimistically. She also wonder how this could be her child, she never expected this. But then again what mother knows exactly how their kid is going to turn up. They just have to try the best the raise them right and hope for the best.

She then resigned to thought now she had get back to herding cats and stormed off to her command.

**Author's Note: Well here is the usual I am sorry for being late, please forgive me and etc. I have been very busy bee.**

**Normally I would never put references in my story, but I could not resist. It's from a movie I LOVE to death and I will love the people who can name the movie in their reviews or private messages. Not the creepy kind love, more like water down penny for your thoughts love. Hint, its a quote the main character says and I have only change two words in the quote into one.**

**I am also thinking mama Shep is becoming one of my favorite characters. Mainly because I find her easy to write. ****By the way, ****should my manhood be in question for fact I find it so easy to write motherly characters? Well that is a can of worms for another day.  
**


	13. Chapter 13

1316 hours, 30 minutes and 2 second since the red wave of The Crucible washed over the galaxy and killed all synthetic life.

"Hey, will you hold that for me?" Garrus hold the elevator door with his hand without responding to the pleading Kaidan. He was just going to head over to the cockpit to watch the ship lift off from there and get one more look of the forsaken planet. He wondered if Kaidan was doing the same.

The planet apparently was designated Typhoon by the humans. The humans consider colonizing it. However after the exhibition force ran into the wildlife that resembled what he learned humans called dinosaurs, ideas of colonization were canceled. Garrus had not actually left the ship, but James told a flamboyant story about hunting them and it was also him that called them dinosaurs. However Garrus did not know enough about so said dinosaurs to grill him, so he settled on telling a better story. A story that was actually true. In all his time in C-sec and beyond he never saw a worst liar then James.

"Going CIC Major" Kaidan stopped at the mentioning of his rank. Garrus knew plenty of people insecure about their position in command, but Kaidan was the best the tease with it. The way he hesitated when people look up to him for orders and how every time he was called major he reacted like it was brand new to him. Garrus would have taken command, however Kaidan was not doing such a bad job, and Kaidan just needed some confidence. He knew could have done a better job commanding, but the lowers seemly picked Kaidan and he had no reason raining on the parade. That was the human phrase, right?

"Yeah, I figured Joker could use some help. And if not, I can at least get to watch the ship take off from the cockpit" Kaidan rolled his head and shuffled his feet as he talked. Garrus could tell he was eager to get off this planet just as much as himself.

As the elevator closed and all seemed to return to silence, silence suddenly took a back seat in likely probability as Kaidan open his mouth. "We sure have been through a lot, didn't think we would end up here" Kaidan turned to face Garrus for his answer. However Garrus saw a moment of opportunity to have a little fun. The elevator was the main stage for witty banter was it not?

"What, you didn't think you would end up hopelessly stranded on some spirit forsaken jungle covered rock after fight against an army of giant mechanical squids with the intent of destroying everything capable of figuring out a drive core" He had to be honest and admit when he first left C-sec with Shepard, this was not one situation he figured he would be in.

"No, I am thinking I would that I would have never had guess that I would end up stuck in a elevator, listening to some babbling turian I would call my friend" Kaidan returned with smile of endearment.

"Oh so that's what surprises you about this situation, not the fact we got here after some red space magic hit us and made us crash here and only after we had just left from the greatest battle between all the space faring people and an army of giant death macines. Next you will tell me you saw the whole evil clone thing too" When he put it like that, it made everything sound absolutely ridiculous.

"Yeah, I guess we have done a lot stupid stuff with Shepard" Kaidan look towards the door and sighed as he said that.

"I don't know about you, but everything I've done was carefully planned out and orchestrated" He knew most humans had problems reading turian face. However Garrus had the biggest turian equivalent to a sarcastic smirk on his face.

"Uh huh, sure, anyways I was actually being honest there. I never figure I be friends with so many aliens. It's been an honor fighting with you" Kaidan outstretched his hand after his reversal of the feelings of the moment. Garrus was stunned by this serious admission.

"I glad to educate the ignorant about the wonders of aliens" that should catch him off guard thought Garrus. He took Kaidan hand as well and shaked it. It is just one of many human gestures Garrus had picked up on his journeys.

"Whatever Garrus, I think this is our stop" the elevator's doors opened with a swoosh sound, revealing the newly repaired CIC with patched up galaxy map and everything.

"After you" Garrus decided to use the human courtesy in the attempt to liven the atmosphere. It seemed to work as Kaidan chuckled as Garrus said that while waving his arm, pointing to the galaxy map.

And without further a due, Kaidan stepped to that seemly sacred pedestal and selected their destination with but a few sweeps of the hands. Almost like Kaidan had been doing it all his life, almost.

However the only thing swifter then Kaidan setting of destination on the galaxy map was the way Garrus and Kaidan proceed to storm their way up to the cockpit, only for the pair to see the ever vigilant Joker at his usual post, fiddling with the holographic display in preparation for takeoff.

"Ready to get off this abysmal place Joker" announced Kaidan as he pressed his hands against the back of Joker's chair and looked over his shoulder to see what the pilot was doing. Kaidan seemly ignored Joker begrudging nature at the new company. Garrus just figured to take his place at the side of Joker.

"Yes sir" left Joker's throat without emotion in his response, except for resentment for his new found occupants of his cockpit.

Kaidan looked ever briefly at Garrus, as if he needed to be reassured on what he was doing. Garrus had no idea why he was looking as such; it was in his authority to send the ship to space. Why must Kaidan seek his approval was beyond him, must be he still uncomfortable in command. He could relate, but he never showed weakness like this. It was one of the many things he had learned from Shepard, always look strong, and never doubt yourself as a commander for everything you do is right. No matter how wrong it might seem.

However he would not want be in his position either, so he gave Kaidan a nod which he learned in human culture means approval.

"Begin pre launch status reports" ushered Kaidan, grasping Joker's chair with new encouragement, to the annoyance of Joker.

"This is Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau to engineering, status report on system revolving flight" uttered Joker almost emotionlessly, obviously just wanting to get this over with. Again Garrus could relate, but that did not mean he approved of Joker's behavior. When his team died, he hunted down the man responsible and put bullet in his eye. He did something with his grief and anger, Joker was just making everyone else's lives miserable. He should do something with his grief.

"Chief Engineer Adams reporting life support is operational" the voice over the speaker had a little static, probably from the damage from crashing. But it was minor and left the message mostly clear.

"Engineer Kenneth Donnelly reporting power diversion and controls is operational is operational" Garrus took note of the hints of enthusiasm in Kenneth's voice, most like eager to finally be heading home he guessed.

"Engineer Gabriella Denials reporting fuel fluctuation is a minimal and propulsion is ready" again there was that enthusiasm that perforated Kenneth voice as well. Now imbued into Gabby's voice as well.

"Engineer Tali'Zorah Vas Normandy reporting drive core is operational, but stressed" her tone in her voice was notably monotone and emotionless. Garrus conjecture she was portably still in the gropes of depression, although he figured this would uplift her spirits a little. He understood, he was close the Shepard too, not the same way, but still close. It hurt to know he was probably dead, his mentor and friend.

"Joker contact Specialist Traynor on navigation and communication report "well this should interesting to hear thought Garrus.

"Specialist Traynor reporting galactic navigation is operational, but all communication are none functional" So they could get to Earth but could not call ahead. That was very useful. No chance of anyone of meeting them halfway or calling for help if something goes wrong like it usually does.

"Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau reporting all flight equipment is operational and accurate. Requesting permission from commanding officer for lift off" there was thick pause before and answer, Kaidan standing and contemplating their chances. Then the order was given.

"Begin countdown to launch" so this was really it, they were finally going back. However Garrus did not feel so happy for this development. He was confused on what he felt.

"Launching in 5…4…3…2…1" and like that a huge jump was felt throughout the ship as it launched into the air, sending great amounts of air rushing below the Normandy. This created a great disturbance below as wildlife and trees were sent flying. Garrus had to lean against a wall to steady himself from the Normandy's lurch into the air. He also noticed Kaidan rather comically holding onto Joker's chair's head piece for dear life as he stabbed his feet under the chair. However things calmed aboard the Normandy as it lazily drift upward into the clouds, defying what the mind thought possible as a large craft of heavy metal was lifted above the world. This left whatever wildlife alive still confused as the great object that fell from the sky began to return for which in came. It was a miracle with no one to appreciate it.

It was then staring at the stars did Garrus finally realize something, the reason for his lack of eagerness to leave. He had nothing back there; he had a dad who doesn't approve and a sister who refuses to look him in the eye. All he had was his duty to his people and that would require for him to leave here. To leave the one place he truly felt accepted. Where he was respect for who he was and was a person, not an idol to be placed on a pedestal. The people here welcomed him and enjoyed to see him. This adventure, this epic quest for the survival had led him to many amazing individuals, many he would call friend. It had it good and bad points, but either way, it was coming to an end. He would have to go back to his people to be example and leave what he had here. He really was not sure what to call what he had here, but he did know he liked it. Of course he could try stay in contact with the rest of the crew, but it would not be the same. Without the same condition or environment it just would be different and be too sparse between meetings to really mean anything. And without Shepard, who could say they really stay in contact. He had seen what happened when Shepard was gone. Everyone just went their separate ways with little to nothing said. It was very painful to see everything he built, all the sense of friendship and comradeship vanish. It was at this realization that Garrus decided he would try his very best to prevent that from happening. He just was not sure he could really do anything to stop it.

* * *

The void, space, and abyss were all words that could describe her surroundings. Tali was very disturb by this seemly endless blackness around her, and the lack of solid ground under her feet didn't help either. She felt weightless, just a small particle in world far bigger than her. It reminded her of her zero gravity training for her pilgrimage.

"You can never be too prepared" they said, everyone said. Her father, her mother, Raan, Gerral, all the people looking up to her to do great things, and they put every bit of effort to see her prosper, to be the next great hero for their people. They all looked to her, expecting the best. And here she was, helpless, just drifting away without any control. She felt so alone.

Only one person seemed to see just her, and he was gone because she didn't stand by his side till the end. "But it's what he wanted" a voice ringed in her head.

"And he doesn't always know what is best, he is just a man" She screamed into the darkness, wishing to address this naysayer. It would have been better to have ignored her injuries at the time and have gone with him, to the end. She and he could have been like heroes in the stories, with a love so strong that persevere to very end and died in each other arms. But no, she left him, and now she was curse to live alone with eyes of her people forever on her. She would become a husk of guilt and-

She was not allowed to continue on that train of thought as a mountain of metal came flying towards her. It appeared broken from something else and had wires and scorched mark everywhere. As she stared at it some more, it look like a part of space ship as she saw what look like hallways and rooms inside the large piece of floating debris. It could have been great for scavenging in a different circumstance.

However, this was not the time as its vector showed it was heading straight for her. She waited till it came closer as she remembered her training. As it came closer, she tried to predict her path on it. However it was so large she couldn't see the whole thing and thence forth couldn't plan ahead.

Just as it was about to crash into her, she put her foot to a ledge and put as much power into her legs as she jumped away. It was just enough to clear the majority of what once been part of a ship. Though she was still close enough from them hull to put her feet on it. As the piece of debris glided past her, she put her feet on the hull and walked the other way. She focused all she could on her next step so that she wouldn't brush against something that might puncture her suit. Though sometimes something would catch her interest, like wire floating like plants underwater or a fragment would break off, drifting away into the darkness. It was almost peaceful walking up the side of this derelict ship. And just as she reached the end, she pushed with her feet away from the ruined ship gracefully. She curled around to watch the ship fly away, when something hit her. Not in a physical way, but mentally. She then recognized that part of the ship, and a sick feeling filled her stomach. She was not sure it was dread or guilt or some other feeling all together. She did know it made her feel her worse and all the more alone. The ship piece was part of the end of the Rayya, the connecting piece to the propulsion.

When she finally looked away from a part of her childhood home, she saw something that was not there before. Stars that made up space and the night sky suddenly appeared around her, leaving her dazed on how she hadn't seen them before. They painted a landscape of beauty impossible to capture in any form of art. A sense of wonder over came her, one she had not felt in a long time. It seemed like forever since she just stared at the stars. When she was a little girl she would stare at them wondering about all the alien places and adventures just waiting for her out there. It seemed now she was a little girl again as the same feeling came to her. She had a lot adventure around the galaxy already, but she would be lying if she didn't yearn for more. That is if she had the right company.

This though did not last as something else then entered her view. Pieces of debris now dotted the view of space and the stars. And not just any debris, they were the remains of once proud quarian flotilla. Dilapidated ships surrounded her. She could not look a single direction without seeing one of these ghastly reminders. Each ship was a graveyard to her crew, crews that would most likely form strong connection to one another and might even call themselves family. Places that hold a special meaning to each quarian soul, as it was where they lived, worked, spend time with friends, be with loved ones and eventually died. Each ship masterful refurnished to serve her crew after being discarded by others after being declared that they could not be repaired. Now they were just floating storage for their now dead crew.

So engrossed with what she was seeing before her, she did not see the ghostly figures before her. She felt a deft touch grab her arms and spread them like the wings of a bird. The figures put an arm around their necks without a word. However Tali was having a hard time wrapping her mind around the appearance of these beings. One was female and the other male or at least that's what she guessed by their general figure as she couldn't see their faces. They wore grey robes made of several long strips of cloth that frayed at the ends. And as she looked closer to where their faces should be, she realized they were wearing visors over their faces. Finally the female one gave an aura of comfort, while the male gave one of overbearing weight.

They did not give her much time to think about their appearance as they suddenly plunge downward, taking her with them. Their speed accelerated to tremendous heights as something appeared below them. A planet, however its land formation and oceans seemed familiar to Tali. It then came to her that this was Rannoch. She was above Rannoch and being carried down to it by two phantasms.

They pierced the atmosphere and she closed her eyes fearing death due to burning, but she didn't feel any heat. She slowly opened her eyes to see what was happening. It would seem that she was still streaking towards the surface at incredible speeds. However neither she nor her caretakers were being set ablaze. She became at awe for these powerful beings and also for the beauty of the planet below, her people's planet.

Just as they were about to hit the ground they pulled up and soared forward in some direction. They were just a few feet from the ground and one misstep would end with her as a bloody mess at these speeds. They eventually came over a canyon. However, instead of just flying over this canyon like how she was expecting them to, the dove into it without abandon. The canyon smelled strange and aroused a curiosity to find the source of the smell. But what she found filled her throat with bile. The walls of the canyon were not made of rocks, but were made of the bodies of quarians, compacted together like the trash of a ship before being launched into space. Each with fresh wounds still oozing with vital liquids for life and their bodies contorted into shapes they were not meant to be in. "What was this place" was her only answer to this horrendous place she found herself in. What had she done to have this happen to her people? How did she fail them?

Then a bright light filled the edge of her vision and she brought her regard to the center of the canyon. "An end maybe" she thought. It was only moment later before she engulfed by the blinding light. But yet her caretakers were still visible and were still dragging her down. Then they stopped and place themselves on something solid, what she could not guess as all around was white light. They forced her on her knees and waited. She felt something touch her chin, forcing her to look up. However the light did not withdraw, as she was still blind to what was before her. The caretakers finally let go of her arms and she arose onto her feet again. Only once she was standing did she begin to see clearly. The light ebbed away into oblivion. To reveal her love burning in flame, screaming in agony, screaming her name like it would provide salvation from the pain. Only then did the caretakers came back to drag her into darkness, into the sound of faint engine hum.

**Author's Note: Thats more it, on schedule. Except I am two chapters behind my schedule so I am not really one schedule.**

**Anyway, sorry about this one being a little short. This chapter had the most overhaul re-writes so far. My original idea for this chapter was nothing like this. Its hard to guess how these will end up.  
**

**Also, I really like writing these more fantastic scenes. Maybe I should question my sanity for the ease of writing them.**


	14. Chapter 14

1392 hours, 2 minutes and 43 second since the red wave of The Crucible washed over the galaxy and killed all synthetic life.

Smooth, he hated it. He had worked hard, with his own sweat and blood to get new scares after his resurrection. Again it had all been washed away, like it never happened. This skin was not his, not the skin of hard bitten man of war and strife. No, this was the skin of a spoiled underwear model that spent all his time looking pretty and not thinking of others around him, just searching for next thing to inflate his ego. That's what Rioul Shepard thought of this new skin that now been placed over his chest and upper legs. He found it insulting.

And to make it all worse, instead his lower four Rectus abdominis, there staring at him, as a haunting reminder, were sythmuscles standing as mockery to his original formidable abdomen. Like the sythmusles on his arms, it was a dull grey color. He could count the fibers that composed of it and spoke of nothing human, more machines trying to be man then anything natural found on the human body.

It made him sick to look at it. His brain twist in revolt and disgust, making his blood boil with unhampered rage. Making his want to seek vengeance on its inventors greater, however he needed him if he ever what get out of this bed, considering his foot was still missing.

It was the asari doctor, Portoa, who came to him. But unlike her environmental suit covered partner, she at least explained first it was time to graft his new skin before putting him under for surgery. An improvement in comparison to Ganus, who just knocked him out and put cybernetics into his body where there were missing parts.

However to his surprise to when he woke up and found this new cybernetic when he was told he was just getting a skin graft. When he pursued for answers to his confusion, he only got unsatisfactory "there was too much damage, they had to be replaced". Now when he sat up he felt no feeling in his abdomen, and even when he hit it as hard as he could, he still felt nothing. It was like nothing was there and his upper body was floating away from his waist, only attached by his spin.

That was not all the complaints that ran through his mind at the moment. It was maddening of the lack of stimulation to his mind. All he could do here was sleep and think. The first option, sleep, was a good option, as finding rest was hard to come by in his proffesion. However it did not work for his mind was restless. The other option was something he had no desire for as the unpleasant would always seep in there, a constant reoccurring thorn in his side. He had nothing to distract himself, no omni-tool to fiddle with, nothing to read or even a strong drink to help coup with the thoughts. Being coped up in this room was nibbling away at his sanity at a feverish pace.

Then suddenly sounds from outside cut his thoughts away from him. It sounded it like Grunt was chatting with someone, rather friendly he might add. There was chuckling and laughing and hint male human voice. This could only be good thing Shepard thought because Grunt is not friendly to people he does not know, so it had be someone he respected, some Shepard knew.

With possibility of a visitor over the horizon, Shepard quickly pulled the sheets over his bare chest and waited for the bearer of this interruption to his solitary confinement. Then with suddenness of a car crash, the chatter outside stopped. However it was only seconds before in was replace with yelling of a familiar voice, a very welcome voice in the ears of Shepard.

"Am I going to be let in or am I going to have to bust the door down. Is the great Commander Shepard too good for a lowly merc now" bellowed a voice with a tinge of English accent. The combination of merc, accent and Grunts approval led this to only possibly being one person in Shepard's mine.

"Of course you come in Zaeed" and without further ado the old mercenary came waltzing in his iconic yellow armor with his right upper arm bare. However three new scars now accompany his arm now. Three identical slashes were stretch across Zaeed's bicep.

"I brought you a gift. I am always bored out of my mine when I am in the hospital, so I figure I bring something I wish I had when I was in hospital. I think the last time I was in hospital was twenty something years ago, when I was still young stupid" Zaeed placed on table next to Shepard that was meant for gift for visitors. However one of the gifts was probably something it was not meant for. Shepard took a moment to gaze at amazement at the salvation to his boredom. A bottle of what he guessed was whiskey and an omni-tool. Shepard picked up the bottle and it turned it about. He was right about the whiskey part, but he didn't recognize the brand. However it was surprisingly old, 2150 it listed, so that made it over 36 years old.

"Zaeed where you get this, I figure finding something like this would be hard considering the times" Zaeed gave Shepard a satisfied grin as he came to his response.

"Well let's just say its previous owner won't be using this anymore and I figure why let it get wasted on some other people" He pulled up a spot on wall and leaned back on it like he was back at his room in Normandy. Shepard at this point noted his preference on leaning on walls as oppose to sitting or standing.

"Well did you bring glasses or we just going drink out the bottle" Shepard had to admit he was slightly sadden to hear of the bottle origins, but yet he could not look gift horse in mouth, especially when it came with booze and tech.

"Of course I brought glasses, I just figured you want wait till later and keep all to yourself" Zaeed removed himself from the wall and pulled what appeared to be two crystal glasses from behind his back. Shepard could not help but stare at odds with his good fortune and from such an unexpected source too.

"I am too impatient to wait and it would be just too rude for me to drink right in front of you" as Shepard made his remark; Zaeed place glasses on the little table, filled himself a drink and retreated back to his spot on the wall.

"Well good, this should make this more interesting. So, how have you been Shepard?" Zaeed commented while taking a sip, savoring the rare, antique and golden liquid.

"I was slowly going crazy in here, but I think you save me of that with these generous gifts. Speaking off that, let's see what we got here" Shepard reached over and picked up the omni-tool, put it on, turned it on and looked over it. It was rather Spartan of any customization and it was not a very advance brand. But something caught his eye; there were several combat applications on it though. incinerate, submission net and a flamer. "Where did Zaeed get this?" he asked himself.

"Zaeed, where did you get this?" he asked the merc who only raised an eyebrow the question.

"After meeting up with you I did some missions for Hackett and got paired up with this vorcha. He was surprisingly less annoying then rest of his kind and was capable of actually having a somewhat intelligent conversation. I suspect though he was probably a slaver or something considering the net and some his opinions. I took omni-tool when died figuring to make a buck or two, but forgot about it. Then I remembered that flamethrower you carried all the time when I served, so I figure you appreciate the built in flamethrower. And I thought you like be able to fiddle with some tech when I left" Shepard took time to marvel at what had just occurred. Zaeed just walked and gave him booze, a wrist computer and a flamethrower in one fell swipe. Shepard was wondering if it was his birthday or something. Now if only he had gotten Tali here and things would have been perfect and this would have been the best birthday ever. Then again he had little to say of birthdays.

It was at this time Shepard notice Zaeed had his gaze fixed Shepard's arm, more specially the new artificial bicep that had been emplaced.

"You know that bicep reminds me of a job I did once" Zaeed finally broke out of his trance with the arm and stared Shepard in the eye.

"Really?" Shepard was not really surprised, but he figured he would humor the old man and let him tell his tale. He liked Zaeed for that anyways. He always had very intriguing stories and Shepard remembered spending great amounts of time with Zaeed down in bottom of Normandy, trading war stories, and on the rare occasion stories not involving fighting.

"Yeah, I was hired to be basically a body guard for this one volus trader in Illium. He was an annoying little ball because he always yelled at everything, like he had make up for something. Didn't see why though, he made more than me in 10 minutes then I do in a mouth. However…" Shepard interrupted Zaeed before he went on.

"I did not think you hired yourself as a body guard?" Shepard was confused by this and could have sworn he said he did not do that.

"I don't and I would never do it after this. You see the volus sold the job as stopping an assassin, but that involved a lot of just standing around in his estate, waiting for the bastard to come. The volus apparently pissed off some higher up hannar and was sure one those drell assassins was going to try kill him, like the one had on your own ship"

"You mean Thane" Shepard wondered if he had been told about his death.

"That's the one. Anyways, the little fudge ball lived in this big tower that had this nice estate with a garden at the top of it, in a courtyard. So I twiddled my thumbs bored out of mind when a big explosion happened in courtyard. Me being young and stupid rush in to check it out. Not surprisingly it turned out be a distraction. When I got to ground zero, I looked up at my employer office window to see this big drell rip off the poor bugers mask, letting little ball choke to death, bastard. Angry at falling my contract and I wasn't going to get paid, I chased the assassin down. When I finally caught the bastard I came across what could the ugliest cyberneticly enhanced thing until I meant husks. The guy had giant synthetic arms that I am sure could crush someone's skull. The guy had a metal lower jaw powered by pistons for cheeks. And finally he had these stilt things for feet that made it so he could jump really high in air, he could clear a 20 foot jump easy"

"Sounds nothing like Thane to me" Shepard had to admit he kind of wanyed see this guy, but considering this is a Zaeed story, he will probably be dead by tbe end of it. Or ask Shepard to track him down and kill him.

"He had a coat just like his. Anyways I was running and gunning after him. He was jumping around like a maniac, throwing around biotics this way and that. Eventually we end up on catwalk outside, thousands of feet in the air. I thought I had him, as it was dead end, but I was wrong. He jump right over my head, got behind me and kicked me so hard I fell right on my back. It knocked the wind right out of me. He then kneeled next to me ready put his fist right through my skull when I thought fast. I grabbed his coat collar and rammed my head into his as hard as I could. He stumbled back and gave me enough time to get up. Then I received on of greatest ass kicking of my life time. Eventually he was holding over the edge of the catwalk by my throat. However I saw something glimmer in his pocket. A pistol I was sure he did not even use in the fight. So I reached in pulled it out shot a few shots into his arm and kicked him back on the catwalk. At this point I guess he got the idea that he already did his job, so he did not need finish me off. So he jumped off the catwalk and hijacked one of those automated taxi with no driver" Zaeed took another sip from his glass

"You are kidding, he jumped off a catwalk and landed on air car without breaking anything" The more and more Shepard heard the less it seemed possible, but there was no reason for Zaeed to lie, so he went with it.

"Yeah he did. I guess those stilts he had are also good for landing. And again being young and stupid, I decided it did not look so tough to do what he did. So I jumped off and got my own taxi, it was easier than you would think. Anyways this had become personal now, I could not fail a contact and receive such an ass kicking and be alright with it. So bastard had to die I thought. I caught up with him and considering taxis don't have any weapons, I started ramming him. He did not like that I guess and opens his door so he could launch a biotic warp at my taxi, which pretty much killed it. So I jump for his car, pull myself into it and got a few good punches in. After my first barrage of punches, we start wrestling in the car. At some point a gun goes off and car can't turn no more. He doesn't seem to notice and proceeds to kick me out of the car, almost. I am barley holding on to the bottom of the door frame, when I make my next move. I take my knife and stab it into his foot stilt thing and impale it to the bottom of the car. I proceed let go and I crash on top of two wives taking a vacation from their husbands. I get into their car and watch as the assassin car goes right into side of one those towers, blowing up beautifully, taking the bastard with it"

"What happened after that" Shepard did not bother to think how many bystanders probably died in that crash. But he had come to expect that from Zaeed.

"Well I figure I needed a vacation and these woman were about have one, so I went with them" and out of all the things he had said so far, Shepard found that the hardest to believe. Two grown woman about take a vacation just take a stranger that fell out of the sky and decide to take him along. Shepard shook his head trying to take it all in and responded.

"And next you're going to tell me is that they didn't go back their husbands after a taste of Zaeed" He knew he was jumping to conclusion. But it might was well considering the ridiculousness of the story. It screamed cheesy action film.

"Almost, it was a taste of each other that made not go back to their husbands, not me. I was just a helpless bystander" he just shrugged and sip from his glass again.

Sensing the decreasing intelligence level of this conversation, Shepard decided a change of topic was in order. "So what happened sense my last conversation with you, Zaeed?"

"How can you ask that question? That was the toughest battle of my life; I don't think I will ever top that Shepard. It started out well and good" Shepard sigh as he realized he just released the floodgate to another story. The way he saw it is that it could only be more ridiculous the last story.

"So they load me up with some Alliance marines in armored convoy and tell me to follow them and shot some stuff, sounded easy enough. Well no least then twenty minutes in and all transports had been immobilized and I am fighting for my life with Alliance marines. I was not supposed to give order or follow any their officer gave, so I shot anything that looked a little creepy. Although in less time that it took to take out the transports, the chain of command falls apart as leader keep getting shot as they tried yelling orders. Everything was going to hell fast and I am sure I killed more things in that time then I usually do in ten normal contracts. Figuring were going die if not some order is in place soon, I try something. I try yelling some orders and immediately the marines look up for next order. I guess they were impressed by me killing a few of those krogan things and figured I most know what I was doing. So in no time at all, I got little under a company of marines following me. It felt good to lead a bunch of men in desperate battle again" Shepard took this in silence, waiting for Zaeed to go on.

"I led them to an above ground parking garage and told them to plant explosive as we went up. Next thing we know we are on top of the garage filled with explosives and those Reaper things. I tell them to jump to the next building and blow the stand. It was wonderful to hear scream all those monsters die at once. It gave us some breathing time, so I told them to plant explosives on building we are standing on now. We proceed to do the same thing with garage with ten or more buildings. Each time though, we lost a few guys and by the time of eleventh building or so, I only had two guys left. They didn't last long. So it was just me, Jessie and a hundred or so Reaper things…" Now Shepard had to interrupt at the news of Jessie working again.

"You got Jessie fix, I thought there was no way repair her" Shepard had to admit he was very curious about his answer to this and why he didn't do it sooner.

"You think I go greatest battle of mankind without my favorite gun? I gave you more than that Shepard. I gave her to a STG guy back roughly when met the vorcha I mention before. He got her working like she was new. Too bad he is dead now" He seemed to spare a moment of silence to the salarian that repaired Jessie.

"Anyways, I was surrounded and I figured I was going to die, but I figure I make it easier for you. So I tried to take as many of those bastards down and be a big huge distraction. I ran all over the place running and gunning. I even broke the sniper rifle I brought over some turian things head. I think I doubled over Jessie number of kills that day. And Shepard I got to say you have impeccable timing because right when Jessie stopped firing and died again. That red wave went over and saved my sorry ass. I honest could not believe I was still alive and I just started laughing like I heard to funniest joke in the known universe. I sure I scared any survivors if there was any around me. Then I finally came around and I decided to take a nap on the rubble. Rocks seem very comfortable after fighting Reaper abomination for what felt like forever"

"You took a nap after you were fighting" Shepard had to admit that was not first thing he thought of. He guessed it made sense, but it seemed strange.

"Why not, I was dead tired. I am getting old, Shepard. It is hard to keep this up anymore, most people fighting my age are usually either in command of big army or dead at my age. I have yet to find someone as old as me and still fights on the ground" one question came to mind from that remark. Shepard proceeded to ask.

"So, what now? What are your plans now, after all of this?" Shepard could not honestly guess what the merc would say. On one hand it made sense to stop now, but he could not see Zaeed doing anything but killing.

"Aren't I supposed to be asking you the questions? Ah, whatever. I have done a lot fighting Shepard and I don't think I can ever top this. So I figure I retire somewhere nice and sunny. Which I have been meaning to ask you, you have been lot place, know maybe a nice colony that's warm and dry, maybe a beach that could use somebody like me?" the question blindsided Shepard like incoming traffic or a missile. Zaeed been around longer than he has, why couldn't he answer his own question. Certainly he had been some places that met his qualifications. This didn't make sense to him. He mauled over the question, trying to think of an answer, but he could only think one thing. He thought it was a little preposterous though. However that described his career in nutshell.

"The only place like that I've been to recently that like that, that's not Tuchanka, is Rannoch. It's all being rebuilt and your probably have to talk admirals first, but I could give them my good word. There probably are some job opportunities too" Zaeed took the answer and process it before giving a reply.

"Well that beats buying a ship full of explosions and committing suicide on Omega. Although doesn't sound likely, but probably less people there would know who I am. I will consider it. So, how about you, you got any plans. Going to keep being a god damn hero?" Shepard had thought about what he was going do. The problem was all his plan revolved around a certain quarian and without her all he had left was his career as specter. He didn't want that. He was tired and wanted settle down for awhile, but yet saw no point if Tali wasn't there with him. Maybe going out with bang like Zaeed said wasn't so bad of an idea.

"I actually was thinking about reti…" Zaeed didn't ever let finish before jumping off his wall and interrupting Shepard.

"No you can't do that Shepard, you're in your prime. You still have a lot of fight in you and this is now a time of opportunity, with all this talk rebuild. And someone has to scare the mercs so they don't get any silly ideas" Shepard wasn't sure to take him serious or not, as he was talking in such a way it gave both a dark and light edge to what he said.

"I don't feel like I got a lot in me. I am tired of…" again Zaeed interrupted him with glee.

"Tired, tired from what, killing? Shepard I have seen the way you fight, the way you charge into the middle of it all without any regard. Only two kinds of people do that, idiots or people who enjoy being in the thick of it all and love battle. I know that's you because I am same way and you remind me of myself when I was younger. Even if you did retire, I would bet in less than year you would come back to fight" As he listen to Zaeed words, he had to admit it rang true. He did love to be thick of it, with fire and bullets everywhere, smoke and napalm filing his nose. That delicious moment where you looked into your enemies eyes and see the defeat it them, where he accepts you will bring his death and delivering the final blow. He always felt euphoric during battle and a brilliant afterglow when its over. But that was not why he was tired.

"No it's not the killing why I want retire. No, there are two reasons. The number one reason is I am tired of watching friends die and I don't want isolate myself so I don't feel grief at their death. It's also hard to tell yourself it's not your fault, even when it's not" he stopped and thought to himself to think when he started to feel this way. Zaeed filled the pause with his own words.

"Who died to cause this?" There were a lot people who could say but most would not be true and there was one that nagged him, like a gun press against his back.

"Samara died"

"How" that was Zaeed only word as what appeared to be genuine shock filled his face.

"Suicide and I was there, and watch the whole. I was too surprised and slow to stop her. I would have never guessed she would commit suicide" Zaeed only respond by sipping his glass.

"The second thing is that this war is not the same. It was not like when fighting mercs when every time you killed one it felt like you're hurting them. That you are winning against an opposing force. But like you said it doesn't feel like a war when your enemies as tall as a skyscraper. No sense of victory when I killed a cannibal or a brute. They have millions to replace them and it's not really hurting them. I felt like we were just digging our own grave. I just now want sulk away to Rannoch and…" he caught himself but it was too late. The cat is out of the bag. He didn't want say anything until Tali was in his arms again, but he let it slip. And also with that last statement Zaeed's eyes became big as he was stuck with realization.

"I get it now, so all the gossip is true. You just what retire so you can go live happily ever after with your damsel, like god damn fairy tale hero. And you want me retire there too so you have little company of the same DNA type and have few beers, am I right?" at this point Shepard didn't see point of continue this conversation. He figured why not just go with the flow. He doubt Zaeed would understand anyways. Although he did find strange that Zaeed seemly slow on his whole relationship with Tali thing. Some people are just slow on that sort thing he guessed.

"That's it Zaeed, you caught me. I just want retire so I can spend all time on Rannoch being a romantic and drinking" responded Shepard sarcastically, putting his hands in the air in mock surrender. Zaeed shot down his drink and was about to say something when his omni-tool start beeping. He took a brief look before saying.

"Would love to stay and chat like asari, but something important came up. Got to go" And like that he was out the door. Again leave Shepard in silence. He didn't mind it now though as he now had a toy to play with and good drink. He decide to use his new omni-tool to brush on what been going on and surf threw news until he feel blissfully into sleep.

**Author's Note: I feel Zaeed is one of the great unappreciated characters in Mass Effect. How many times has he been spotlighted in any stories? I can tell you too few. Zaeed in my opinion has a lovable personality, tells great stories, gave me a flamethrower in ME 2, is a badass, and thinks on the same wave length as me. I know those things don't make a great character, but in my book it will sure make you a enjoyable one.**

**And am I the only one who was disappointed that you can't have some of the multiplayer powers in single player. Okay I am lying about that. I just wanted a flamethrower really bad and saw that vorcha had it. There are few weapons I love more than a good shotgun, and a flamethrower is one of the few. This author's note seems to be turning into the flamethrower appreciation note. God I love flamethrowers. I shouldn't be allowed near fire.**

**By the way, am I the only one who had notice that every time you meet Zaeed, he is leaning on something? The only time I can think of when he is not leaning on something is when you first meet him, when he is kicking a man on the ground. An activity I fully support.**

**I should probably see a psychologist. But then again the last time I did that I ended up eating some guy's liver and wearing his face. Okay I am just rambling now to fill up my word count, bye.**


	15. Chapter 15

1488 hours, 52 minutes and 12 second since the red wave of The Crucible washed over the galaxy and killed all synthetic life.

Kaidan had never seen so many people crammed inside an elevator. If the elevator was not military issue, he would be worried of it falling. Garrus, Tali, Chakwas, Liara, James, Kenneth, Gabby, a few random CIC personal, and himself were all compacted into this one elevator, Which seemed a lot smaller now. All of them were silent due to the anticipation of what is to come. Everyone's desire to go to CIC seemed to make the elevator slower the usual, as moments felt like they went on forever.

However he could not blame them for the awkward situation, they had just spent two months to get to this moment. And now it was finally here, they would finally be entering the Sol system soon, and then they would be able to finally move on with their lives, whatever that be.

The journey back had been mostly quiet, which was new to him, but it was a welcome change. Although quiet did not mean pleasant, as people went back into a stupor like state, paying little attention to their own surroundings. Without the universal goal of repairing the ship achieved, people sulked back to their corners, having little contact with one another. Although Garrus had tried to convince Kaidan to play a few games of cards with some other crew members, but little was said during those games because in the back of everybody's mind was the same question. What was going to happen to them once they got back to the Sol system? Everyone had their own imaginings, but no one really knew.

That did not seem to ruin some people's excitement for the current situation. Tali, who had taken the right corner of the elevator, was bouncing on her toes in the tension created by the anticipation of arriving. Even James, who had been very grim in the past two months, seemed to have a brighter expression on his face, cracking his knuckles every once in a while.

Then the elevator door finally opened, releasing a flood of people. The CIC personal spilled out in every direction, but the members of the ground team, Chakwas, Kenneth and Gabby stormed towards the cockpit to get a better view of the upcoming solar system. This left Kaidan to be shoved to the side of the elevator, trying to rein in his thoughts. Only after coming to his senses and realizing he had been brushed away like a ragdoll by his friends.

When he finally regained his balance, he too headed over to the now over stuffed cockpit. As he reached the entrance to the cockpit, he was blocked by a wall of shoulders and backs, as so many people eclipsed the view of the windows of the cockpit. It was when presented with this problem did he remember something he needed to check on. He swiftly whipped out his omni-tool and opened a channel to Specialist Traynor.

"Hello Traynor, how close is the quantum communicator to being finished" Kaidan didn't expect it to be finish anytime soon, but he was hopeful for a surprise.

"I am almost there, just need to plug this into there and…" suddenly a large zap could be heard from the other end, followed only by static. Whatever had happened must have been bad, as Kaidan tried several more times to get Samantha's attention. But the only thing he got back was static.

"Hey look, the communicator is back online" Kaidan heard Joker say from deep within the crowd of people. Kaidan was astonished to hear genuine surprise in Joker's voice, seemly the first emotion from him in a long time.

Kaidan looked around trying to figure what he should do, when he saw how he could deal with two birds with one stone. Kaidan tapped Chakwas's shoulder, which was in the back of the crowd, and asked "Can you check on Traynor. I think something happened to her. She should be in the communicator room"

Her eyes grew wide that someone needed her now. "What happened, what can you tell me?" her voice ringed with shock, but also a earnest to help.

"I don't know. I was talking to her through my omni-tool when she said she was plugging something in. Then everything thing went static and she is not responding" whispered Kaidan, not wanting to disturb the others in this time people had been waiting for so long.

Without another word, Chakwas hurried away, giving Kaidan the opportunity to move into the cockpit. He was eventually able to push his way to the window, but not without some disgruntle people reminding him he was being rude by cutting though them to get a better view. However, that seemed all but small mews when compared to the breath taking view, now laid before him.

There were spaceships as far as the eye could see. Turian, quarian, and Alliance ships string across the system with countless derelict and destroyed ships floating aimlessly as well. All of this only sparked more questions. "Why were they here? Why are they not rebuilding their home worlds? Where are they getting enough food? What is going on?" these were all questions running through the Kaidan's head. To look upon the scene only added confusion and melancholy as everything drifted without purpose. His attention was locked on the sight, when a familiar voice rang out.

"By the Goddess, what has happened to the mass relays" Kaidan turn his head at the sound of Liara's voice, to find his attention not on Liara, but what she was pointing at. The mass relay that had launch humanity on its destiny into the stars looked dead. The lights that once perforated it before were gone. The once great beating blue heart, that once had been so memorizing, had dissipated away into nothingness. The rings that whirled around it were broken and flung not such a far distance away. There were some ships surrounding it, but they looked as helpless and confused as Kaidan was.

Then it came to him. When he locked the coordinates into the galaxy map, he had notice that the icons for the mass relay were gone. At the time he thought it was just a glitch or something as the galaxy map was fixed in a hurry. There was also the fact that the star system, the one they crashed in, did not have a mass relay. So they would not be able to use one on their journey back, and the Sol relay would be the first one they see. However that does not seem to be the case. It was no glitch, the mass relay were really out of commission, explaining why aliens had not left for their own worlds.

It was then a beeping came before the console in front of Joker. "Woah, I got several hails here from important people who want to talk to certain crew. Patching in Admiral Hackett first, he is asking to talk to whoever is the commanding officer. I guess that's you Kaidan" Kaidan didn't wait for another word to leave Joker's mouth. He wanted answers and the Admiral sounds like the best person to get them from.

He hastily made his way to the communicator, almost not noticing Traynor being carried out on a stretcher and Chakwas looking worried about her condition. Not taking notice of anyone around him and only stopping once he reached his destination. This was then rapidly followed by Kaidan press a few button to bring the Admiral into view.

His appearance startled Kaidan and made him almost jump, as the man before him seemed to be the Admiral. But there was something wrong with him. His clothes were dirty, with creases of much use and little care. His normally present hat was missing. And finally, his face seemed tired, still stoic and filled with authority. But it also showed he was encumbered by a great weight, and it was bringing him down.

"Major may I say for the Alliance that it is very good to see you. However I need a full report on your whereabouts so I can get idea of what to do with you" Kaidan for a moment thought he saw a glimmer of a smile on the Hackett's face, but it could have been his imagination. Although the Kaidan was more focus on the premise of having to explain all that had happen, it seemed overwhelming.

That did not stop Kaidan though. He decide that Hackett must be having a tough time, and he figured he be more of help if he didn't leave anything out. He told Hackett everything. From the crash, to the ceremony they tried to have for Shepard, the decrepit low in crew moral after, the confusion and how they more or less jury rigged the Normandy to fly. The only thing really positive about his description was the fact that there was no causalities, except for EDI. Hackett stood there quietly, taking it all in. Only after Kaidan was done the he finally responded.

"It would seem the crew has been having it rough. From what you're telling me crew moral is at a low. Although I believe I can fix that Major. Shepard lives and is currently on my ship, recovering from severe injuries. He is conscious and is accepting visitors. I imagine the crew will all want to see him and would not work at their fullest capacity until they have. I am still not sure what to do with you, as the state of the Normandy makes your usefulness questionable" Kaidan forgot to blink at the news that Shepard was alive. And not just blinking, he had forgotten to breath and he was sure his heart skipped a beat. He had been on the fence on whether to believe up till now. But to hear that his comrade was still breathing left him absolutely speechless. It took a few moments before he could respond.

"How soon can we see him?" was the only thing Kaidan could say at the news.

"I could have you board in fifteen minutes. I will be making preparation till then and telling Shepard's doctors about your arrival. Till then" Hackett's image then disappeared abruptly, leaving Kaidan wondering on how to break the news.

He slowly meandered back to the combat team waiting at the cockpit. Trying to find a way to break the news occupied his thoughts all the way back to the cockpit. It was only when they came into view did he decide to just be straight with it. As he finally arrived, he could feel many pairs of eyes now watching him, knowing that he knew something that would change everything. So with a deep breath, he let it out.

"Shepard is alive" he shouted to make sure everybody heard it. But before he could gauge their reaction, something gripped around his torso, trying to squeeze the life out of him. As he looked down he saw the shape of a very happy Tali, who was currently trying to kill him with a hug from what he could tell.

"Where is he?" were the only thing to come out of her mouth as she continue to clutch Kaidan. Her tone was blissful but also threatening.

"Admiral Hackett's ship, The SSV Matterhorn" Only after announcing the ship did Tali finally let goes of him. He was trying to gage whether that was a clever interrogation technique or just pure emotion, or both.

"You heard the man, Joker sent destination to the Matterhorn"

* * *

"That stubborn man, could nothing kill him. A rogue specter could not do it. The Collectors could not do it. And the Reapers couldn't either. He died and came back to life. By the spirits, he is truly unstoppable" these were the thoughts that were going through his head at the news that his commander, friend, mentor, and almost a brother to him was still alive. He was so sure no one could survive that.

His mind left him paralyzed at the news. Others looking at him would only find a stunned turian looking at the floor with his mandibles open. He knew he should not be really surprised at this outcome, but it seemed impossible to him. He knew he should be glad, but this only left more questions. He was now less certain of his fate now than a week ago. Did he stay at his friend's side, should he go back to his people, who will most certainly need his help? Or did should he go back to shooting mercs and criminals, who would most likely take this time to exploit the weaken states of each races government.

However a voice sliced those thoughts about his fate away from him, as he heard his name being called. "I got a Primarch Victus wanting to see a Garrus, patching him through the comm room" announced Joker.

This he did see coming. He figured Victus would want to see him as soon as possible, to assign him on some project or something. He didn't really know what Victus would want from him, but he knew he was held in high regard to the Primarch's eyes.

As soon as Garrus finally snapped out of his trance, he bolted to comm room. He knew the Primarch would not want to be kept waiting.

It did not take long for him to reach the comm room, but he did leave a few people wondering what his problem was to be at such a brisk pace. It took him even less time to press button to make the image of the grizzled Victus appear.

He had switched back to his armor he had worn on the moon of Palavan. Although, even with the armor, it seemed Victus was a little smaller than when he last saw him.

"Vakarian, it is good to see you in one piece. I thought we lost you" Victus stood at attention, but yet there was an obvious bit of joy in his voice. It was strange to see him happy for a change.

"I don't die that easily sir. But I imagine you didn't call to exchange pleasantries, sir" Garrus suddenly realize who he was talking to and immediately took attention stance. Normally that would be unforgivable in turian culture, not presenting one's self properly to a commanding officer. However he liked to think he earned some slack, by help saving the galaxy and all.

"The situation is grim here. Are people are impatient to get home. Moral and discipline are at all time lows. Are ration are low and starvation is happening all across the Hierarchy, not just are armies here. We got the quarians to agree to give us some of their spare food, but it is not enough. And without food in the soldier's bellies, they become restless and aggressive. We have had several reported incidents of our soldiers acting aggressively to others, especially humans. Some seem to blame them or maybe they are just acting out their frustration. Either way, it could not come at a more inappropriate time" As Victus explain what was going on with their people. That joy vanish, instead replace by weariness and melancholy.

"That does not make sense; humans didn't cause the Reaper's. I have never heard of turians acting like this" if they had anything to be angry about, it should be the Reaper's. They should have taken their frustration and anger and do something actually productive with it, or at least that is what Garrus thought

"They have been through hell and they only just found another one in its place. I don't think it makes sense either to take it out the humans. However they are starving, stranded in strange galaxy with a bunch of aliens, and they have probably lost many they care about. I am the leader of the Hierarchy and I don't really know what to do. It would seem we just have sit on our hands until they fix the mass relay, while are empire is falling apart. I am trying to get it all together, but the Reaper's have hit us hard. And that's not the worst of it" as Victus announced the tragedy's taking place, Garrus found it hard to believe how it could get worse.

"Aria and her new armies of mercs did exceptionally well against the Reapers. Most of them are still alive, to my everlasting disappointment. She is ruling over them like a queen and they all follow her loyally, well at least as much as money grubbing criminals can be. However she has made a bold move. She is now openly started recruiting, and she is targeting our soldiers specifically. I don't know how, but she has obtained a great amount of dextro based food, and many are going to her just to survive. She has not tried anything aggressive, but yet it is easy to tell she is trying to build an army. It is hard for me to see any good coming out of Aria gaining an army of mercs and desperates" Victus seemed to become angered at the mentioning of Aria's army. He took deeper breaths and his nostrils flared. His mandibles twitch with fury. Garrus had to admit he was quite intimidating now.

"And what do expect me to do about it sir" Garrus knew how to deal with mercs, criminals and Reapers. But Starvation and reconstruction of the Turian Empire was something else.

"I am not going to give you any orders Garrus. I just wanted to tell you the troubles of our people. I know you work best when given freedom, one just needs to look at your work to figure that out. I also know you can't let such injustice happen and stand by. It is way you join C-Sec, is it not? I know you will do what is right for our people. Let's just hope the same for me" and with that, Victus ended the transmission, leaving Garrus alone with his thoughts.

Garrus spent a minute or two just sitting there, taking in all he had heard. He soon realized Victus was right; he could not sit by while all this happen. He just need time to figure what to do. He slowly left the comm room with that in mind.

* * *

Tali felt her blood rush through her arteries and veins, rising to near the surface of her skin, creating a blush that no one could see. She could hear her heartbeat in anticipation. She watched the Normandy move ever closer to its destination from the cockpit. She gripped the back of Joker's chair as if her life was at stake, to the unease of Joker, who didn't appreciate the quarian leaning over him to get a better view.

She honestly could not be bothered to notice the pilot's displeasure. It seemed two months of hysteria and depression was at an end. She was moments away from a vision she feared would never come true. Tali had a feeling he was out there, waiting for her. But to have it finally confirmed was absolute ecstasy. She almost didn't hear what Joker said, almost. If it were not for that distinctive name, she would have never heard what he had said.

"Ah Tali, incoming transmission from an Admiral Raan, she is asking for your presence. It sounds like she really wants to see you. I wouldn't keep her waiting" For a brief moment in time, Tali had forgotten about her people. However, with the utterance of one name, it all came back to her. She was an admiral in a crucial time for her people. People were looking up to her and were waiting for her guidance, expecting strength and wisdom in her guidance. The crushing weight of responsibility was pressed against her shoulders once more.

"Patch it in, I will be over in the comm room if anybody needs me" she practically almost jumped off the back of the chair and started running towards the comm room. Only after the uncomfortable feeling of people watching her bolt towards the comm room, did she slow down to a walk.

As she walked over to the comm room, a knot began to form in her stomach, as her desires began to conflict with one another. On the one hand, she had a burning desire to go visit her love. However she did not want Raan to know and wanted to hide it from her. It has probably been very stressful for Raan until now, and she didn't want to add her love life to unimaginable amount of things on that are most likely on her mind. Tali found herself quickly not knowing what to do and swiftly becoming nervous.

As she reached the comm room, she hesitated on pressing the button that would start the meeting. She swallowed deeply before pressing it, waiting for whatever would come.

It did not take long before the image of Auntie Raan appeared before her. An almost pristine image of the woman, she looked exactly like when Tali last saw her except her hood was slightly crooked and wrinkled.

"It is so good to see you my dear. I hope the journey back was not too agonizing. Many here were beginning to think the worst" although it was nice to hear her auntie again, Tali could not help but fiddle with her hands. She would rather be back waiting, waiting to arrive at her lover's bedside then here.

"Yes I would imagine so. Um Shala could we talk later, I really want to go visit Ri- I mean Shepard. I heard he is alive but he is probably really hurt, and…" before she could continue babbling on, Raan interrupted her. Tali was not sure whether to interpret that as mercy or annoyance. Also Ri was also a short name she called Shepard, but just between the two of them.

"Yes I am sure you want support your captain in his time of need, and let him know how much you appreciate his efforts. This gives me an idea. How about we both go and give our sympathies for entire quarian people. Except for providing our leading cybernetics expert, we have shown little of how much we appreciate his effort. I am sure the both of us will provide adequate representation for the fleet. We can talk more about what has happen since you were gone in person. I will meet you at the Matterhorn" Tali heart skipped a beat at the turn of events. She was hoping to just dismiss Shala till later. Now she had just hasten the inevitable meeting closer, and now she would have to restrain herself in front of Shepard not give her relationship away to Raan. She was not sure she could do that. Tali began to fiddle with her hands more rapidly than before.

* * *

Shala had been waiting in this hanger for what felt like forever. It probably only been ten minutes, but she was eager to meet her niece, and that made her anxious.

She was in this hanger with her two bodyguards, waiting for her to arrive. Hackett ensure her that this is where he would have the Normandy's crew land their shuttle. Her plan was simple, meet with Tali, go visit Shepard, and finally take Tali back so they could work on organizing the flotilla's direction. It seemed simple enough to her, she couldn't see how it could go wrong.

However, as she look back on her talk with Tali just minutes ago. She realized that Tali was nervous when talking to her. She didn't notice at the time because she was just happy to see her. But now looking back, she was definitely nervous. "Why?" she asked herself. Maybe it was because she was nervous to take back her admiral position after so long. She was nervous about it from the start, but she straighten up quickly and showed her strength. Shala was proud on how Tali handle her position of being admiral.

Suddenly the ringing of alarms filled the hanger. Sirens blared and the signal was broadcasted to deck hands on an oncoming vessel. Shala watch as humans scrabbled to move stuff out of the way for the Alliance shuttle that was entering. Fighters and cargo was pulled about just to make room. It did seem a little cramp for this one hanger; it had about two dozen fighters wing to wing pressed inside the hanger. There was also her shuttle too, but it was just flying car modified for short range space flight. So it did not take too much space.

As the shuttle landed, her guards snapped to attention and watch the shuttle not so gracefully land. She thought the whole idea of bodyguards was ridicules, but Gerrel insisted on it and she felt like amusing him. She didn't see a reason to put up a fight for that.

The shuttle slowly opened and released a torrent of unique individuals. There was a turian, an asari, something that looked like a collector, and an assortment of humans. Then finally someone she recognized, her niece.

Shala ushered her hand into a motion to signal Tali to come to her. She watched as Tali looked around before slowly walking towards her, with her hands in front, circling one another.

"Come on my dear, let walk and talk" she signaled to her guards to lead the way as they talked. Shala and Tali followed them down several winding corridors. What Shala did not notice is that the rest of the people that came with Tali didn't know where to go either, and had decided to start following them as well.

"So what happ-en when I was gone" stuttered Tali. To keep up with Raan, Tali had moved to a brisk walk, meaning she couldn't fiddle with her hands. However her posture and stuttered still screamed to Shala that she was nervous. Why she was nervous was not apparent to Shala though.

"It could have been worse, but it could have been better. We have suffered heavy casualties, but we have fared better than the other races. We have started share food with the turians because all are liveships were still intact, and with so many of our on dead, the food would have been wasted anyways" she watch Tali carefully to get any sort of hint on why she was nervous. But her answer didn't reveal anything.

"Some p-eople pro-bably didn't like the idea of shar-ing" Tali was right, but Shale notice the stutter again. It was really starting to bother her. Had something happen on when she was gone. She made a note to ask after meeting with Shepard.

"Yes there were some opposition from Gerrel, but he stood down when the rest of the admirals agreed it was a good idea" It was originally Koris who brought it up. She guessed he was trying to make allies now that the war was over. Xen came around when she realized she could probably get some tech out of the deal. Shala saw it personally as just doing the right thing; she also saw it as a way to help heal some of the wounds between to two races.

"Is that it?" Shala notice that Tali seemed a little bit eager to be over with this discussion. Yet the reason why avoided her.

"Is it her captain" she pondered. "And if so, why? How close were they? Maybe they were closer friends then she thought"

"The overall moral of the Flotilla is at all time low. Several ship captains have suggested just trying to fly back to Rannoch, but they were easily swayed other whys. However that is not why we need you. It is much harder to maintain control with four admirals, the overall organization of the flotilla has gone down and people are drifting. We need you Tali, we need a hero embodies who we are as a people, someone to raise the peoples spirits and not lose hope" At this point they conveniently stopped at their destination, not noticing the rows of krogan lining the hallway. Tali stopped completely in her tracks at mentioning of the people needing her, stopping just a few inches away from a krogan in silver armor guarding the door.

It was a moment before anyone one said anything. "Who is this one?" the krogan pointed a large finger at Raan. Out of annoyance of being point at, she slapped the finger away, but the krogan did not seem to mind.

"It's okay Grunt. She is one of the admirals and we are here to show our appreciation for Ri- I mean Shepard's actions" A moment of pause before the krogan acknowledge what Tali said with any reaction, just staring at her. Only after uncomfortable silence was made prevalent throughout the hall way, did he finally open the door. But not before saying.

"I supposed to only let one in at a time, but I will make an exception for you" he nodded and moved himself away from the doorway.

Her bodyguards remain outside as she and Tali entered the room. Medical machinery she didn't recognize lined the backside of the room. In the middle, against a wall, lay the famous Commander Shepard, in a simple bed that was just big enough to fit him. He had pillows to support himself, and to just lean back enough to be comfortable, but not lying down. And his eyes, like miniature fires, staring holes into the ceiling. A bottle of some alcoholic drink on little table to his side, it seemed to be empty.

Shala coughed loudly to get his attention, a technique she used all the time on her subordinates. "Hello Captain Shepard, I have come to…"Shala drifted off as the specter almost leaped to a sitting up position, leaving the sheets covering his muscular chest to fall.

Although she had to admit his muscular structure was impressive, it was his eyes that caught her attention. No longer were they dulled from boredom, but now they were alert and were keenly focus on something behind her. What he said next also peak her interest.

"Tali…" he uttered like a dying man wanting just one more thing in life. She couldn't read his face, but eyes were something she was more familiar with. And the fact Shepard's eyes consist of just one color, red, also helped, as it remind her of quarian eyes. His eyes showed desperation, but also surprise, a lack of belief of what was actually happening. Then there was something else, a glimmer that showed of recognitions of something familiar, a fondness for something.

"Hello Shepard" Shala snapped back to see where the feeble voice came from. Tali stood there with her hands mingling together again, head down as if in shame or embarrassment.

"Now why was she acting like that…" Shala pondered when something clicked in her mind. An outcome she could not have imagined before but now made all the sense now. It explained so much, from Tali nervous behavior to the look in Shepard's eyes. It even explained action in the past. Shepard's eagerness to serve as Tali defender at her trial, the passion of which he yelled at the admiralty board, his willingness to help the quarian people whenever possible, the depression Tali suffered after the death of her captain during her pilgrimage, and much more all start to make much more sense to Raan now.

"When and Where?" these were the only thing Shala could think at the moment for her mind was bustling with different feelings. The only thing she knew at the moment was that a direct approach would break them and give her the truth.

"Shala I can explain. It is not what you think it is. Its…" Tali was not even able to finish before Raan interrupted her niece.

"I didn't ask for an explanation. I asked a question and I what a direct answer" Shala could not help but drip a little bit of venom in her voice, neither could she hold back the cold fury writhing within her. Tali seemed to freeze just from the coldness of Shala voice.

"Let me explain" announce the specter, who had avoided Shala burning stare till now. "I see no more point in hiding it, it seems to me we have been caught. I and Tali have been in a relationship shortly after trial; however there were feelings before that. I saw this day would come and I can say with fully commit in my relationship with Tali and desire no other" Shepard's confidence in his statement was impressive, but Shala still had grave doubts. Many aliens experimented with relationship with quarians, but most find to much a hassle with all the extra complications that come with a quarian lover too much for them. In the end it leaves a disappointed alien and a heartbroken quarian. And Shala did not want to see Tali hurt in such a way.

"Words are cheap, captain; I am going to need more than that for me to believe your sincerity" Shala voice only became colder as the discussion continue. Most of her subordinates were reduce to gibbering messes after such attention from her. However the specter was not phased by this cold stare. Then again the man did stare down a Reaper with a laser pointer.

"I would expect nothing less from an admiral. Then take this in consideration, I would not be alive if it was not for her. Everything I have done so far has been for her. I have taken every step so that I could survive to have a future for her, and that she could have a future for her. I could have taken her up the beam with me, which would most likely end with her death. But I choose that she deserved to live more than anyone else, and when I sent her back on the Normandy, it was with the mind that I would most likely die, but at least it would insure a future for her. And that is all I want for her. And now that she is here, it is clear to me on my next course of action. You heard it first; I will resign from both the Alliance and Council Specters to seek out a life for Tali. I did not kill the Reapers to save the galaxy; I did so for one person, a Miss Tali'Zorah Vas Normandy" Shala was surprise about the miniature speech he gave for his devotion to the relationship. With this action he had stole all the attention for himself, and was now giving a dominating presence for his bed, an impressive feat for a man sitting shirtless, defenseless, and bed ridden.

Although it was still just words, if Shepard actually resigned from his position from the Alliance and the Council Specters, it would be a start in convincing her is feelings were true. However that could wait, for she had one question on her mind.

"So, how far has this relationship gone?" her voice chill was lifted a little for the fear of what answer could be.

Tali finally spoke, Shala guessed inspired by Shepard's confidence and the fact there was no turning back now. "We have had skin to skin contact and more. However both I and Shepard took great precaution before engaging in such activates. I toke many antibiotics and supplements to bolster my immune system. Shepard took great effort in cleaning himself and his room, and even learned the medical protocols for a quarian suffering a lethal allergic reaction" In that moment Tali remind Shala more of her father than ever before. The way she said so with such force and passion, it made her hard to argue, for even if no one else believed her, she seem to have full confidence in herself and nothing was going to sway her.

At this point Shala saw it pointless to argue. It was obvious that Tali's feelings for the human were strong in her willingness to stand and defend him. And if what Shepard was saying was true, then he seemed committed to this relationship as well. She remembered what young love was like and knew there was very little she could do about it. She would just have to be ready for any blow back if it goes wrong. And it was obvious to her some of the advantages of having Shepard this close to the quarian people, such an ally was indispensable.

Shala turn her voice back to her usual calm tone before continuing. "If you come to live on Rannoch with Tali, you do realize that you will have to work for the quarian people, right?"

"I will accept them as my own people if I have to. I don't use the word human to describe myself anymore. I have skills in electrical, mechanical engineering and medical proficiencies I can use at my disposal as well my leadership. I will gladly serve them, as soon I am done building Tali's new house" Shepard's regard didn't leave Shala's stare at all while he talked. She had to admit she was a little impress by the way he handled her little interrogation.

"I imagine you two will want to spend some time alone. I will be back to talk to you later Shepard, alone" Shala saw no more point in continuing, so she excuse herself out the door. She had spent too much time here anyways.

As her bodyguards assume their positions at her flanks, she could not help but have a mind flooded with emotion and thought. On one hand she was disappointed with Tali's choice in lover. She had already been denied grandchildren once; it hurt to have it happen again. But she did have a great respect for Shepard's abilities, even if she was suspicious of him. He could be a powerful ally.

As she thought about all of this, she did not notice the impending collision. Her bodyguards step right in front of her to hold back what looked like a female Alliance officer. As she started swearing at her guards, took note of her appearance. She was short and looked be somewhat old. She had blonde hair with large stripes of grey in them. She wondered who it was.

"I am sorry for my guards; they are just doing their jobs. Might I ask who you are?" Shala inquired while motioning her guards to take her side again.

"Rear Admiral Hannah Shepard, now you better give a good answer who you are" as the human gave her response, Shala remembered that human with the same second name tended to be related. This spiked her curiosity.

"I sorry but I just have to ask. Are you in any way related to the specter Shepard" Hannah grew at Shala question.

"That really does not answer my own question, but yes, I am in fact the mother of Rioul Shepard. Care to answer my question now?" Shala could not help but give an evil smirk under her helmet at her luck.

"Why don't you follow me, we have a lot to talk about"

* * *

Tali watch as her aunt exit the room, relief that the new form of torture had ended. Although it went better then she thought it would. She had wished to have done it on her own terms, not have Rioul launch into it like a torpedo. Then again, she should expect Rioul to be direct when in a hopeless situation.

She turned around to see Rioul give her a big smirk and look that just dared her to come on over. Who was she to deny his wish? Things had not gone as she planned, if there really was a plan in the first place, so she thought "let's try something different".

She began to saunter over to him, one foot in front of the other. She made sure to put a swing to her hip as she went, like some other woman she seen. It seemed to get the right effect, as Rioul eyes began to wonder all over her body.

Once she finally arrived at the side of his bed, she proceeded to straddle Rioul's waist, making his eyes grow wide. She outstretched her arms so that just her hands were behind his neck, looking over him to make sure all piece were in the right places. His chest was smooth now, but that wasn't a bad thing. Those deep red scars still laid were she last saw them. She took one quick look at the new cybernetics, but she didn't really cared how he looked, just as long as he was here.

Then she couldn't fight the urge anymore. She wrapped her arms around him in a great hug and snuggle her helmeted head in the curve of his neck, wishing she could smell him. He didn't hold back either, as he encompass her in his own deep hug. She tried to touch as much of her body to his, just to feel to firmness and know it is real.

They remained like that for seconds, then minutes. Tali didn't really care; she would be content to stay bound like this forever. Just feeling the presence of his arms around made her feel safe, and to hear his heartbeat made her feel warm inside. It was almost like getting drunk off his presence. No words need to be exchange for this one action told her everything she need to know, that he was safe, with in arms reach, and was happy to see her. As she lean back to see his face, he had a smile that told her things were all right. It was subtle, but yet it made him look a little stupid, and she was alright with that because it also told her that he couldn't be any better.

"Never do that to me again, I always want know where you are" the hellish depression and anxiety of being stranded on that planet, not know he was alive, was still a clear memory. It was something she never wanted to happen again.

"I don't plan on leaving your side in a long time, but don't your people need you soon. I don't want divide you. Don't worry I will be right here surrounded by big krogan, I will be just fine" she could not help but frown at the mentioning of returning to her duties. But she also knew he was right. But…

"They can wait just a little bit longer" she removed her hand from him to reach for her helmet. With a hiss the mask was gone, the cold ship air nipping at her skin. But she didn't notice that, for she had something else on her mind.

She leaned in to just a centimeter away from his face, daring him to make the first move. He locked eyes with her, challenging to resist the temptation to kiss him. In the end she didn't care for his challenge and made the first move. Light, slow, and sensual as their lips met, creating a tingling feeling on her skin as his protein amino acid structure conflicted with hers. They took their time exploring each other lips like it was the first time again, taking each other's breaths away. They only left each other's lips to take a breath, merely to go back into the kiss.

Second became minutes as they became lost in rapture. However reality soon seeped back into her mind, telling her others needed her. She parted away from at just sat back smiling at him, enjoying the view without the tint of purple that came with her visor. He simply sat back and did the same.

"I guess I should be leaving before you have heart attack" she left his lap and simply stood at his side, placing her mask back on as she did so.

"I am not that old. Age is just a number anyways. Hackett is old and he is just fine" he leaned back on his stack of pillows again, enjoying the radiating emotions.

"And when was the last time he had any fun" She hadn't bother to look in his personal life and had only heard of him in passing, but from what she heard, it didn't sound fun being the leader of Alliance military.

"And that's why I am resigning. Anyways, don't leave me long" his filled with longing again, she could tell he want her to stay.

"Like you and everyone else have said, my people need me. I will come as soon as I can" and with that she left, feeling whole once more.

**Author's Note: Sorry for the slight delay, but that pesky life thing keeps interrupting me. And speaking of delays, I might be going on hiatus for a while. I am looking at my schedule now, and it looks like someone barf notes on my calendar. Sometimes I hate always having a plan. However this is a might, and not guarantee. So don't lose complete hope. Famous last words.**

**I have notice I have forgotten the time stamps on the last two chapters, so I have add those to them. You don't really have to go back and look, but possible new readers and all. I have thought about getting rid of them, but I have decided not till later.**

**Anyways, something more interesting than my problems. This is really the first time ever me writing anything romantic. So I decide to do something a little different. I regret this is not a visual media as I wanted to have the actions speak louder than words. I am of the belief that real love is very rare and most people will never find it. However I would imagine that when it is achieved, the participates would no longer need words to convey what they feel for one another, because of such understanding of one another. I hope that makes sense. And what do I know about love?**

**Okay, I am a little disappointed with how little reviews I am getting. This confuses me because humans love to judge, I sure do. You do it all the time; you look at a product on the shelf at a store, and pass judgment on whether or not it looks good. I know I am not perfect, I have just read over my story and have found a plot hole. Why has no one commented on that? Or the fact I get some details about the universe wrong, like the color of husk blood. Since you are having a problem with making reviews, I propose a formula. A + B = C. A is for a positive thing about the chapter you like, it can be as simple as saying I liked word choice, but don't say that because I know your lying cause I don't have good verbal variety. An example from the text would be nice. B is for something I did awful in it, it could be anything, from grammatical to character based things. Point out what I am doing wrong, it's not that hard. And C is for a complete review because once you done A and B you are done, maybe finish it with a trademark phrase or something witty.**

**Ok rant done. I would put some cat pictures or something cute up to make you feel better, but I can't because this is for a story, not a forum. I could try to bake you a cake, but I don't know where you live except for your country and that's not enough. Also I suck at cooking, so it's for the better I don't know where you live.**

**Oh and last but not least, I might put this project aside briefly to write some short stories about other franchises I love, like Warhammer 40k. I don't see enough love for my favorite space marine legion on this site. But you guys probably don't care about that.**

**ALL IS DUST**


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